Writing about life and love after loss is something I know all too well. My writing is, in no small part, shaped by my father’s suicide and my disability. As the old saying goes, we writers write about what we know. The same can definitely be said of lawyer-turned-writer Debbie Weiss, who began writing and blogging about her life after the death of her husband George in 2013. She told me all about her hobbies, how she fell in love with writing and some of her favorite authors. Read on, friends… xoxo

Name: Debbie Weiss
Where are you from: I was born in New Haven, Connecticut, but I’ve lived in the San Francisco Bay area since I was six.
3 words to describe me: dorky, questioning, yogi
Website/Blog: The Hungover Widow

Tell me a bit about yourself…what do you do, what are your hobbies, etc.?
I grew up in a Northern California suburb as the only child of a widowed physicist father. My mom died when I was ten. It was a time when there was no counseling, and kids were taught to carry on as if nothing had happened, which probably turned me into a maladjusted control freak and I become an attorney. I married my high school sweetheart George. We’d known each other since I was seven because our parents worked together. After 11 years, I burnt out on practicing law and was happy gardening, decorating, exercising and being with George. He died of cancer in April 2013 at 53. My current hobbies are blogging, writing, flow yoga and scoffing at the advice given to widows.

When did you first know that you wanted to be a writer? Was it always something you wanted to do?
I’ve enjoyed writing since grade school. When I was younger, I thought my love of writing would work with being a lawyer. I started blogging and writing about my life to cope with George’s death, enrolling in a weekly adult writing class which led to joining a weekly writing group as well. I started submitting articles in August 2015. My first submission was to xoJane about becoming an online dating addict in a misbegotten attempt to cope with loneliness after George died.

I took a few seminars on getting published and, rather ignorantly, paid a lady who sends out query letters to a database of agents and publishers. I wrote a letter and got an agent. I don’t have a publisher, but in theory, I’m writing a memoir.

What writers/books did you admire growing up?
In my childhood, Laura Ingalls Wilder. In adolescence, Hermann Hesse (Steppenwolf, Siddhartha), Colette and MFK Fisher. I remember being truly shocked when I discovered my dad’s copy of Fear of Flying when I was 13.

What is most rewarding for you as a writer?
When someone contacts me to tell me that I’ve helped them or that my writing has been comforting to them. Not surprisingly, these folks are usually widowed.

What issues do you think women face as writers?
I don’t know that we’re taken seriously when we write about our lives like it’s some sort of exploitative, confessional genre. Like you, I wrote for The Mix, Hearst’s now-defunct contributor network, and I was sad to hear it described as a content mill where writers (usually women) spilled their guts to get published. Maybe because “empathy” is a traditionally feminine trait or men aren’t taught to value connection the way that women do, but it feels like our biographical writing or personal essays are undervalued as a sort of lower class of women’s writing.

What is one piece of advice you wish someone had given you when you were just starting out?
It will be very hard to get anywhere. I think of myself as still starting out. And I naively thought that if I accomplished certain things, like getting published multiple times in the same national magazines or getting a high number of shares in those magazines, I could build my career on that. It may be possible, but I haven’t it figured out.

What would you tell aspiring writers today?
Don’t get discouraged and don’t take rejections too seriously. Find friends who write. Consider how you’re going to make an income while you pursue your writing passion (not that I’d recommend anyone become a lawyer).

How do you think advances in technology have changed the profession, either good or bad?
For the good, there’s so much free or inexpensive technology, anyone can start a blog or get on a public forum like Medium or Mogul. There is so much available content all over the Web. And I love that we can all connect. To the bad, people seem so replaceable and it’s hard to get noticed in all the chatter. I am perplexed by SEO, personal branding and other platform stuff.

Thanks so much for sharing your story, Debbie! Be sure to follow her on Twitter and Facebook to keep up with her writing journey! I’d love to keep this series going, so feel free to email me at mellow1422@aol.com with ideas or if you’d like to be interviewed! We women have to stick together, right?!?!? xoxo

I just realized that it’s been almost two months since I introduced you to an inspiring woman writer! Today, I got to speak with freelance writer and copy writer Carole Rosenblat, who, after growing up in Michigan and moving to Arizona 16 years ago, is currently selling her house “to be completely location independent.” How awesome is that? We chatted about her journey in writing and why her best adventures in life have some about with minimal planning. Take it away, Carole…

Name: Carole Rosenblat
Where are you from: Originally, Oak Park, Michigan (a suburb of Detroit). I left there to work on board sailing and cruise ships. Then landed in Florida for a bit. I moved to Arizona 16 years ago but am now selling my house to be completely location independent.
3 words to describe me: Quirky, Curious, Determined,
Website/Blog: Drop Me Anywhere and Rebel With A Cause

Tell me a bit about yourself…what do you do, what are your hobbies, etc.?
I’ve worked in travel and tourism most of my adult life. Travel has been both my vocation and avocation. I’ve worked on Windjammer sailing ships, on cruise ships, for Disney, as a camping/adventure tour guide, an international tour guide/manager, logistical manager of corp. meetings/events worldwide and, oh yeah, I was also the Director of Fun for a hotel.

I currently make my living writing articles for online and print magazines and for corporate clients, as well as some copywriting and tour design for clients. I also work as a tour director and guide around the world. I also give speeches around the world on travel locations, working in travel, female empowerment, non-traditional volunteering and doing your “one big thing.” Finally, I sold my car, furniture, and clothes and rented out my house to finance my around-the-world writing and volunteer project. I’m now selling my house to continue with my blog, write the book (hello? Any literary agents out there?) and plan a Female Empowerment Mission Summit (FEMS) as a direct result of the feedback I’ve received from women who have been inspired by my journey.

In my spare time (ha!) I’m a big reader! I love museums, and I love to simply wander around a new city and explore with no destination in mind. For exercise, I love to hike and practice yoga.

When did you first know that you wanted to be a writer? Was it always something you wanted to do?
Hmmm, I don’t know the answer to that. I always loved writing in school but never thought of it as a career. It just sort of happened. I started a blog after applying to get a show with Oprah when she was starting the OWN Network. In order to promote my video application and receive more votes, I began a blog. Well, Oprah never called so I didn’t write anymore, because I never wanted to be a blogger. I soon began receiving emails from people asking how they could subscribe to the blog. So, in the interest of giving the people what they wanted, I continued.

A year-or-two later, I began a philanthropic blog Rebel With A Cause. The project had me driving across the U.S. (Arizona to Florida), interviewing people struggling in a tough economy and writing their stories. I then asked readers to vote to decide to whom I should give $1,000 to because, after recovering from my own difficult financial situation, I was now able to do this as well as pay it forward after others offered to help me.

About three years later, due to a series of life events, I started Drop Me Anywhere, which is about travel with minimal planning because that’s where I find my best adventures! In order for readers to know there would be minimal advanced planning, I invited them to vote on the destinations to which I’d travel and I’d leave within two weeks (sometimes within a day) of the end of the vote. Readers tend to return to read more as they’re now a part of the story, having chosen the location. They’re known as my Virtual Travel Buddies and I write and publish as I go (approx. 1,500 words per day while on location). As everything I do has a philanthropic element, I partnered Drop Me Anywhere with Rebel With A Cause and committed to volunteering in each location readers “dropped me.” While Drop Me Anywhere is informational travel humor, Rebel With A Cause is not humorous, but instead, tells the stories of those involved, what the organizations do, who they help, and how others can get involved.

What is most rewarding for you as a writer?
I really love when I can educate people on different cultures. I also love when people tell me they were laughing out loud at something I wrote. Or crying. I like to touch people’s emotions. I enjoy it when a piece just flows from me without thinking much. Still, one of my favorite pieces was one I worked really hard on. It was for a corporate client and I wrote it in Dr. Seuss style. It came as a surprise to my client, but, as they hired me to add more fun to their website, they published it without editing.

What would you tell aspiring writers today?
The first and most important thing is, JUST WRITE. Next, if you write, you are a writer. Start saying it out loud. When people ask you what you do, say “I am a writer.” It’s scary at first; do it anyway. Finally, I repeat Stephen King, “Kill your darlings.” Okay, that’s for when you get to editing, but it’s helped me.

How do you think advances in technology have changed the profession, either good or bad?
I’d say it’s good for the writing part — I can’t imagine working on a typewriter or writing long-hand, though I know some do. I also like that I can easily carry my iPad with a keyboard with me and stop anywhere, sit down for a coffee (or a refreshing juice in Bali) and write. This is especially valuable to me as I’m usually writing on location or an airplane.

Thanks for the adventures, Carole! Be sure to follow Carole on Twitter to see where she ends up next! I’d love to keep this series going, so feel free to email me at mellow1422@aol.com with ideas or if you’d like to be interviewed! We women have to stick together, right?!?!? xoxo

My heart feels a little less broken today after seeing all the glimmers of hope filling my Facebook feed over the weekend from people attending the Women’s March! So, I thought it would be a good time to keep the momentum going with a new installment in our Interviews With Women Writers series. I’ve been impressed with Ana Gotter from the moment I first met her. The Orlando-based writer specializes in business writing and content marketing, and we chatted about all things writing, like the most rewarding parts and the impact of technology! Here’s Ana’s story…

Name: Ana Gotter
Where are you from: Orlando, Florida
3 words to describe me: Enthusiastic. Tenacious. Grateful.
Website/Blog: Ana Gotter

Tell me a bit about yourself…what do you do, what are your hobbies, etc.?
I’m a full-time professional writer based in Orlando, Florida. I specialize in business writing, content marketing and ghostwriting, but I like to do a little bit of everything — it keeps things challenging and interesting! Both professionally and in my personal time, I love writing creative nonfiction, and my favorite non-writing hobbies are cooking, playing with dogs and kickboxing — all of which are used to de-stress me after the writing is done!).

When did you first know that you wanted to be a writer? Was it always something you wanted to do?
I always really loved writing. When we learned how to write five-paragraph essays in third grade, I went home and asked my mom to come up with more prompts so I could practice more because I thought they were so much fun. I wrote my first “book” (which was about a princess and clocked in at 40 pages) when I was 12. I’ve always loved it and made the decision to study writing the year before I went to college. I’d say it was a good choice!

What writers/books did you admire growing up?
When I was really young, I was a huge fan of J.K. Rowling and Sarah Dessen (still fans, by the way). They both wrote really relatable, believable and interesting characters that you got emotionally attached to. In middle school and high school, I loved Proust (Swann’s Way) and Khaled Hosseini (Kite Runner, A Thousand Splendid Suns) for largely the same reasons!

What is most rewarding for you as a writer?
The most rewarding thing is being able to use my skill set to help people. It sounds cheesy, but it’s true. Whether I’m writing a personal essay someone can relate to or I’m using my content marketing to help a small business or nonprofit reach their goals, I’m always overwhelmed and humbled by the fact that we can truly make an impact with just words. Making a difference is so important to me, so this is huge.

What issues do you think women face as writers?
I’m sure this is true in almost every industry there is, but there’s definitely an issue with pay equality. This isn’t true for all (or even most) of my clients, but I’ve had instances where it’s clear that clients are willing to pay men more for the same work. I’ve also had an issue with harassment, both from readers and clients. I’ve had to drop clients that were extremely inappropriate, and I think the fact that I look particularly young doesn’t help how condescending people can be towards me.

What is one piece of advice you wish someone had given you when you were just starting out?
Writing feels extremely personal, but when you’re a freelance writer, it is a business, even if it’s personal, too. That means you need to have contracts for everything, you should always ask for pay and if six different editors have turned down your masterpiece of an essay, it doesn’t necessarily mean anything about the essay itself — it just means that those exact pubs didn’t need it at that exact moment.

What would you tell aspiring writers today?
I would tell aspiring writers to just keep writing. That’s the best advice I was ever given, and I’ll happily repeat it. I also think finding a truly supportive community of talented writers and a mentor is crucial. I was fortunate enough to have gone to an incredible writing program at FSU, and I got to workshop pieces with talented groups of students and got one-on-one feedback from truly incredible professors. I’m still in touch with most of those professors today. You want someone who will be honest and supportive at the same time, and who will push you to be the best you can be; if you’re open to criticism and learning, you can go far.

How do you think advances in technology have changed the profession, either good or bad?
I think advances in technology have been incredible in the writing industry. While we’ve seen some big name sites go down in the past year — breaking all of our hearts — technology today has made writing, particularly freelance writing, more possible than ever. I have tools and apps for everything I need to run my business, including tools to streamline communication with the people that I hire, project management tools to collaborate with clients and invoicing software. We also have tools like HARO to find sources, and social media has made it easier than ever to forge relationships with other writers and editors, so we can all strengthen our craft.

Thank you for being so inspiring, Ana! It’s exactly what we all need right now! Be sure to follow Ana on Twitter! I’d love to keep this series going, so feel free to email me at mellow1422@aol.com with ideas or if you’d like to be interviewed! We women have to stick together, right?!?!? xoxo

Today’s installment in our Interviews With Women Writers series features Millennial writer Marissa Miller, who gives awesome advice on going after the career you want. Her writing resume is an impressive one, with bylines in Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan and The Washington Post! But that’s not so surprising when you see her amazing drive and determination to write and tell stories. Here’s Marissa story…

Name: Marissa Miller
Where are you from: Montreal, Quebec.
3 words to describe me: Weird, curious, flexible
Website/Blog: Marissa Miller
Follow Marissa on Twitter

Tell me a bit about yourself. What do you do, what are your hobbies, etc.?
I’m a freelance journalist writing for publications like The New York Times, The Washington Post, Teen Vogue, Vogue and Cosmopolitan. On the side, I talk about things like Resting Bitch Face and millennial dating and technology trends on the radio, and I’ve just put the final touches on my manuscript for a non-fiction book about how we need to talk more openly about mental health issues as a way of eradicating it, which sounds depressing but it’s actually heavy in toilet humor and dad jokes. I’m currently trying to advance in my yoga practice on a mat I bought at the Dollar store, which is a metaphor for pretty much everything. I enjoy running, reading and putting Snapchat filters on my cat’s face.

When did you first know that you wanted to be a writer? Was it always something you wanted to do?
I was born knowing I wanted to be a writer the same way many people are born into a religion or a culture or a gender identity. There were times I tried self-inflicting conversion therapy by enrolling in physics and chemistry classes, but I was miserable. I’d write poems in the margins of my notebooks and I think having me in those classes was just an all-around fire hazard.

What writers/books did you admire growing up? 
I read lots of YA fiction like the Shopaholics series, everything in Louise Rennison’s repertoire like Angus, Thongs and every word John Green has ever written. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes profoundly shaped my worldview, so if you haven’t read it, get on that.

I always got very sad when some of my favorite books ended. At around 11 years old, I took up writing to ensure I was constantly interacting with and exploring new ideas. I’d create new characters to distract myself from what it feels like to mourn the loss of a beloved character in a book.

Then I got really into philosophy-type stuff like Alain de Boton, Chuck Klosterman, Haruki Murakami and the ever-whimsical Miranda July. Incidentally, most of my favorite writing is from female comedians like Sarah Silverman, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Amy Schumer and powerful feminist types like Roxane Gay, Caitlin Moran and Lindy West. I’ve read every word on every shampoo bottle and cereal box I’ve ever owned.

What is most rewarding for you as a writer?
Tons of high school and university students reach out to me and tell me I empower them in some way. The world is a super lonely place and I want my writing to provide comfort for those who are kind of confused or disoriented. Based on certain feedback, I’ve achieved that goal.

What issues do you think women face as writers?
That our writing needs fit neatly within little boxes. Scientists are still trying to figure women out, so it’s a little jarring when we occupy various spaces. Surprise! We can talk about chipped manicures, butt workouts and the presidential campaign all in the same breath without being walking contradictions, but rather multilayered — and not because we are wearing Spanx.

What is one piece of advice you wish someone had given you when you were just starting out?
I pretty much ignored every single piece of advice I got from teachers or mentors and trusted my gut. A guidance counselor in high school told me not to enroll in journalism because it’s a task-based program as opposed to English literature, which is more academic. That didn’t feel right to me. You can’t be a good journalist unless you’re on the field. Reading Shakespeare will help me on Jeopardy, but it won’t help me tell stories.

A lot of people discouraged me from studying journalism because it’s not a steady or structured career path. The program director at my university’s open house wasn’t very welcoming either. Being the angry teen I was, I accepted that as a challenge.

We are so skeptical about the idea of breeding a new wave of journalists, so young people don’t feel it’s worth it to invest themselves in producing good stories. There’s still this stigma attached to being a writer, so you have these kids quietly writing in the margins of their notebooks (hi!) and building Tumblr blogs with private settings. Teens: enroll in journalism, write for the school paper, and wear your bylines as proudly as you would that new Sephora purchase.

What would you tell aspiring writers today?
Don’t only write what you know. If I stuck to what I know, my portfolio would consist entirely of kale chip recipes. My reporting assignments have given me another degree’s worth of education — I’ve written about real estate, politics, finance, science and medicine, travel, technology, gender issues and sexual assault. Trust yourself. You may learn you love sports or municipal politics if you give it a shot.

If you don’t love the niche at first, find a hook you do care about. Think about the human angle behind it. If you feel connected to the idea, your audience will, too.

How do you think advances in technology have changed the profession, either good or bad?
I recognize the privilege inherent in being able to look up a source’s contact information and get a hold of them immediately. That element of instant gratification means two things: first, we’ve gotten a little complacent and I’m seeing tons of recycled and even flat-out plagiarized content. Secondly, social media platforms have shrunk the Earth and created a deep sense of intimacy like the world is one big chat room, so I’m seeing a lot of fresh personal narratives in place of hard news from people who might have otherwise been too shy to write. I’m seeing a more diverse range of voices than we did 10 years ago and besides the few trolls in the proverbial comments section, we’re generally more tolerant. We still have tons of work to do, though.

Is there anything else you think I should know?
Writing can be a very isolating process, so try to attend workshops, book launches and readings. Don’t feel bogged down by the pressure to be constantly interacting with other writers or reaching out for support. The best ideas happen when you’re just living.

What wonderful advice and inspiration, Marissa! Be sure to read more Interviews With Women Writers! I’d love to keep this series going, so feel free to email me at mellow1422@aol.com with ideas or if you’d like to be interviewed! We women have to stick together, right?!?!? xoxo

I’m so excited for another installment in our Interviews With Women Writers series! Some of you may remember my friend Lexi from the couple times I’ve mentioned her over the years. She’s amazingly unique, super supportive and also happens to be a writer too! In fact, I think it’s one of the big things we’ve bonded over, though I admit that I could NEVER make writing fiction look so effortless. Anyway, I asked her if she’d like to answer a few questions for this column and she was game! Read on for her writing goals and inspiring advice to young writers… xoxo

Name: Alexandria (Lexi) Baisden
Where are you from: Kirkland, Illinois. If you haven’t heard of it, it’s a tiny town in the middle of nowhere surrounded by corn.
3 words to describe me: Joyful, hard-working, creative
Website/Blog:Writing portfolio

Tell me a bit about yourself…what do you do, what are your hobbies, etc.?
Right now, I’m a remote transcriptionist. I get to work anywhere, as long as I have Internet access and a keyboard — a warm cup of coffee is also a must! I do some occasional freelancing, and I’m always looking for opportunities to stay active in the field, whether that’s through readings, conventions, slush reading, etc. I’ve interned for Curbside Splendor Publishing, worked as an Associate Editor at Columbia’s Publishing Lab and spent time as a Fiction Writing Tutor.

I LOVE writing fantasy. Most of my published work is of flash length, but I also write short stories. It depends on the piece, but my work is generally either really light-hearted or really heartbreaking. I’m currently working on a high-fantasy novel, and I also dabble in playwriting.

As for hobbies, I’m into researching medieval weapons and combat. My book has a lot of action, and even though there’s definitely magic involved, I want to add some realistic elements into the battles. I also play video games like Pokémon, Dragon Age and Super Smash Bros. I go on adventures with friends, cosplay and volunteer with my church by helping out rehabilitating schools, hanging out with kids and dancing with special needs students at a Night To Remember!

When did you first know that you wanted to be a writer? Was it always something you wanted to do?
Before I knew how to write sentences, I would create stories by drawing pictures. I’d staple the pages together like a book and ‘read’ them to my family. One was about a goat who owned a clothing store, but he kept eating all of his clothes and thus, had no profit. The other was a series of adventures about a bumblebee named Jack. So, I was always making up stories even as a little girl.

The first time I was really aware that I wanted to be a writer is actually because of Harry Potter. The Mirror of Erised scene was the first time words on a page had a physical impact on me. I was heartbroken for Harry, and I decided I wanted to move people through my writing too. I remember deciding I was going to write a fantasy book and I did! I finished my first book when I was eleven.

What writers/books did you admire growing up?
Harry Potter was the first series I became truly engrossed in, but Junie B. Jones definitely got me into reading — I used to call up my grandma and read the chapters to her! Other books I loved: The Magic Tree House series, The Giving Tree, Holes, The Giver… My fifth grade teacher read us books like Frindle and Running Out Of Time. She made learning so much fun! My mom also used to read me The Friendly Duck every night before bed for years!

What is most rewarding for you as a writer?
The moments that stick out to me the most is when I find out my work has touched someone. When I hear a piece has made someone laugh or cry, it makes me feel like I’m doing my job as a writer.

One story I’ll never forget is actually from a fan fiction I wrote when I was around 18. This girl told me how my story would crack her up and make her day a lot better. We started messaging back and forth and reading each other’s work. She was in remission for cancer at the time. She didn’t show up online for a few days. Her best friend wrote a message for all of her followers – the cancer was back. We kept in contact. Her best friend would read my messages out loud to her and write back. She even read her parts of my fan fiction. Her best friend told me how much she loved me because it was the one thing that made her friend laugh in a long time.

She ended up passing away, and I was devastated. I’ve never forgotten her. What I hold onto the most is how my work brightened her day during that dark time. I want to keep doing that. I want to keep writing stories that move people’s hearts.

What issues do you think women face as writers?
I’ve heard J.K. Rowling used her initials because they thought young boys wouldn’t want to read a book written by a woman. I’ve heard Jodi Picoult’s work getting called ‘chick-lit’ even though her books center around topics like the Holocaust, suicide pacts and school shootings. I’ve heard there’s a higher percentage of reviewed books written by men, and women are typically less widely read and taught in high schools. It’s a lot of the same stories over and over again.

What is one piece of advice you wish someone had given you when you were just starting out?
I used to think I had to write chronologically — like, there was absolutely no other way! I’m not sure why I thought that. Maybe because that’s what I heard a lot of other writers were doing. I would get stuck on so many projects and not move forward.

I started writing scenes that took my attention instead. For the most part, I don’t write chronologically — sometimes I write the ending before I even touch the beginning! So, I would tell new writers what may work for one person may not work for another, and that’s perfectly fine. Do what works best for you!

What would you tell aspiring writers today?
Jodi Picoult says, “You can always edit a bad page. You can’t edit a blank page.” If you want to be a writer, it’s important to write. Don’t worry about getting it perfect the first time. You can always go back and change things!

Is there anything else you think I should know?
I keep a baby dragon on my desk. I talk my ideas out loud to him sometimes — his name is Wilson. Everyone should have a Wilson.

Here’s to having a Wilson in our lives! Thanks so much, Lexi. As always, feel free to email me at mellow1422@aol.com with ideas or if you’d like to be interviewed for this series! We women have to stick together, right?!?!? Write on!! xoxo