Disability Archives - Page 2 of 98 - So About What I Said

Monday, July 1, 2019

My Essay on Rooted In Rights: “Here’s What Dr. Phil Got Wrong in His Episode on Interabled Relationships”

In March, you may have seen me post this on social media: Spent a good portion of today thinking about the Dr. Phil episode featuring an interabled couple and more ableist tropes than should be in 2019. It’s irresponsible to present this narrative of disability. People with disabilities aren’t burdens. We’re human. When I posted about Dr. Phil’s ableist views on interabled relationships, I’m sure many of you knew an op-ed would be coming!! Here it is!! And it’s my first for Rooted In Rights — remember my second piece on Ali Stroker’s historic Tony nomination?

I love that my job allows me to be a voice for the disability community. To speak up for a group whose voices and needs are continually overlooked and dismissed. I may only be one voice, but I’ll never stop speaking up and being an advocate for people with disabilities. Always. And when it comes to interabled relationships, this is especially true!

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I write honestly about what it’s like to have a disability and the kinds of care we require…

And here’s something important that Dr. Phil seems to forget: There are different types of “caregiving.” It’s not just about the physical. I may require a lot of personal care from my family, but that doesn’t mean I can’t care for them as well, especially when it comes to emotional caregiving. The episode is a perfect illustration of the sort of ableism people with disabilities encounter on a daily basis. People are surprised when I tell them some of the things people have told me and sometimes, I wonder what’s worse: Their surprise or the fact that I’m not surprised by any of it.
Why are we still buying into the “burden” narrative when it comes to people with disabilities? People with disabilities are not burdens. We’re human. And we deserve to be treated with dignity.

You can read the full piece here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

Tuesday, June 18, 2019

My Essay on CNN Opinion: “What Clouded Ali Stroker’s Shining Tony Moment”

After two months of my pitches missing the mark, I got another acceptance from CNN Opinion!! Did you see Ali Stroker take home a coveted trophy at this year’s Tony Awards? Her nomination alone was a game-changer, but her win? Well, it’s downright historic!

She became the first wheelchair user to win and my heart soared when I heard her inspiring speech, in which she dedicated her award to kids with disabilities who have been waiting to be seen in the world.

But for all the moving-forward, making-progress vibes of her award, we still saw a stark reminder that society still has a ways to go when it comes to inclusion. Ali Stroker’s historic Tony win shows us about disability and accessibility — namely, that society still needs to do better.

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I explore this question: It’s 2019…why are people with disabilities still an after-thought and expected to live in a world that wasn’t made for them?

My heart sank because this scene illustrates the everyday ableism people with disabilities face, and it’s not an uncommon one. The issue of accessibility is something we’re all too familiar with, from theaters without ramps to restaurants with steps to buildings without elevators.
The truth is, the world is not made for people with disabilities, and there’s no denying the twinge of irony that came with Stroker’s win. Here she was, breaking down barriers and shattering disability stereotypes, yet confronted with a barrier to accept the award. In addition, by separating her from her peers and fellow nominees, this lack of a ramp was yet another example of a person with a disability being physically marginalized or separated from a group or community because of being differently abled than everyone else.
It’s telling the disability community that they need to conform to the able-bodied world instead of the other way around.

Friday, June 14, 2019

My Essay on Rooted In Rights: “Ali Stroker’s Tony Nomination Puts Disability Center Stage”

I can’t believe I got to write this as my second piece for Rooted In Rights, an amazing disability rights site! When I heard that actress Ali Stroker recently became the first performer in a wheelchair to be nominated for a Tony award, I was excited (note: I wrote a follow-up piece after her big win last week and will post that next week!). When I heard that they didn’t tone down her character (amorous Ado Annie in Oklahoma!), I was ecstatic.

To see an overtly sexual character with a disability is huge, especially in a society that typically sends the message that women with disabilities are asexual beings. Honestly, that’s something I’ve never understood and it’s actually incredibly frustrating. Why does our disability suddenly take away our sexuality as women? Is it because there’s this societal perception that disability is ugly, grotesque and shameful? I’m definitely not here for any of that!

Thanks to Ali Stroker, though, disability representation is taking center stage. Literally!! To see disabilities represented on the stage has been a long time coming, and it means that yet another barrier has been shattered in the fight for inclusion — a fight in which we still have so far to go!

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I talk about how much I’ve loved Ali Stroker ever since I first saw her on The Glee Project years ago (she should have won!)…

To pair disability with sexuality is nothing short of revolutionary. It’s not something we’ve necessarily seen so overtly on Broadway or quite so mainstream, and it’s sending the very-important message that, yes, women with disabilities can be sexy and can lean into their own sexuality just like nondisabled women. So often, disabilities are thought of as negative – sometimes even repulsive – and they’re virtually never included in mainstream conversations about sexuality. Or even in conversations about relationships in general, for that matter.
The assumption that women with disabilities are asexual beings is all at once hurtful, misguided and damaging. It’s an assumption that further puts us in the “other” category and fails to see us as whole people and all our identities instead of just part of us. And, it’s an assumption that should have been debunked decades ago.
Maybe that’s why I’m so thankful to see Stroker in the spotlight in Oklahoma! as a character who is a woman who embraces her sexuality and just happens to be in a wheelchair.

Monday, June 10, 2019

Motivational Quotes Monday: Why Disability Representation Matters More Than Ever

Good afternoon, friends!! How is your Monday going?? Are you ready for a new week? I’m so proud of myself that I managed to take the whole weekend off from working! I’m so tempted to just keep working through the weekend far too often, so a little respite was really rejuvenating and refreshing!! Do you know what else is refreshing? The huge push toward disability representation that we’re seeing in 2019. I got to thinking about that last night when actress Ali Stroker became the first wheelchair user to win a Tony award!! It was a win for people with disabilities everywhere — it told the world that people with disabilities are here, we’re visible and we’re not going anywhere. That sort of representation is so important, especially in dispelling outdated, toxic myths about people with disabilities. With that in mind, here are five quotes all about the power of disability representation…

Thursday, May 23, 2019

My Essay on The Washington Post: “Why the New Peppa Pig Character Gives Me Hope”

MY PEPPA PIG ARTICLE IS PUBLISHED ON THE WASHINGTON POST!!!!!

Umm, can you tell just how excited I am, friends?!?!?!? The Washington Post is a BIG deal for me, ever since I saw All The President’s Men, so I’m beyond thrilled to share my second piece for their On Parenting section!! I got to write about Mandy Mouse, the new character in a wheelchair on British import Peppa Pig, and how ordinary her introduction was. Spoiler alert: That’s a GOOD thing! Disability representation is having a moment in 2019 and I’m here for it!

Peppa Pig is incredibly popular with the under-5 set, as I learned during my interviews with experts and parents. And for good reason! The show presents wonderful, relevant lessons for children, and the lessons are subtly woven into the plot instead of just stated outright. Surprisingly, it was Ms. Bear who gave me the idea to write about Mandy Mouse, and I’m so glad she did. Mandy was presented as just another new character, not a new character in a wheelchair. She talked about her wheelchair, but it never felt forced or out of step with the rest of the episode.

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, and I’m extra happy because the editors chose the headline I suggested, which rarely happens in the freelance writing business…

It’s essential that children with disabilities see themselves represented on their favorite TV shows, and it’s just as important that able-bodied children see these disabilities as well. Mandy Mouse gives me hope for the future. She gives me hope that the next generation won’t have to wonder why there aren’t characters like them on TV. She gives me hope that children won’t be afraid when they meet someone with a disability — that meeting them is, like on “Peppa Pig,” no big deal. She gives me hope that when it comes to inclusion, real, lasting change is possible.
Yes, seeing the person (er, mouse) instead of the disability. This is what inclusion is all about. On TV and in real life.

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