The ADA Anniversary Didn’t Trend on Social Media. Here’s Why That’s a Problem.

ADA anniversaryYesterday, I shared my newest piece for Yahoo Life all about this month’s ADA anniversary. This year was a huge milestone — THIRTY YEARS — so I was excited to see all the coverage and disabled stories about where we’ve been, where we are and where we’re going in the next 30 years.

Well, Sunday’s official anniversary came and went. While, yes, there was coverage, one thing stuck out to me: The anniversary didn’t even trend on social media. And for some reason, I’ve been thinking about that a lot these past few days. Not because I’m sad or mad or annoyed, which I am (all three, actually), but because the lack of major recognition is just, well, the status quo when it comes to disabilities.

It’s something that disabled people like myself know all too well. It’s super disappointing that the ADA wasn’t even a blip in the news cycle ON THE ACTUAL ANNIVERSARY. At all. The anniversary of the biggest disability rights legislation and nope…nothing. What kind of inexcusable shenanigans are these??

I mean, this is what disabled people experience every day. This is our life, so I’m not surprised, but I would expect more from 2020.

On a deeper level, this lack of visibility is telling. It’s incredibly symbolic of how disabled people are still treated in 2020. We’re ignored. We’re left out. We’re forgotten about. We’re mocked. We’re undermined. We’re an after-thought.

So…why do I post photos of myself? To normalize disability. Maybe if more people saw disabled people, they would see us as actual human beings. Maybe they wouldn’t mock us with horrible names. Just a thought.

ADA anniversaryI don’t know who needs to hear this, but…

Disabled bodies are worthy

Disabled bodies are beautiful

Disabled bodies are hot

Disabled bodies are spectacular

Also, we need to start saying that word.

Disabled.

It’s not “differently abled”

It’s not “special needs”

It’s DISABLED.

Why are people so afraid to use that word?? I’ve seen people perform feats of word gymnastics trying to come up with a euphemism when really…

DISABLED IS NOT A BAD WORD

People are shocked when I say I’m PROUD to be disabled because we still live in a society where pride + disability don’t belong in the same sentence.

But I’m here to tell you they do belong together!! That’s why I’m so open about my life with a disability and want the world to see disabilities in a new way. My disability pride has taught me to be more vocal. To speak up. And, yes, to show my face — hi, selfies! Disabled people are here and we’re proud.

I recently asked my mom to take some new photos of me in my wheelchair for Disability Pride Month. Y’all know I haven’t always been comfortable in my body and that’s because I’m not used to seeing people like me, but that’s changing…and I couldn’t be more excited!! Disabled body representation is the future and I’m here for it.

My Essay (AND video!) on Yahoo: “How a Wheelchair Ramp and the ADA Changed My Life”

ADAHi, friends!! It seems like it was just yesterday when we were celebrating the 25th anniversary of the Americans With Disabilities Act (ADA), but that was FIVE whole years ago!! Back then, I did a week-long blog series on the pivotal piece of legislation and this year, I’m so excited that I got to share my story with Yahoo Life…

And guess what?? I got to do an essay AND a video!!

This was such an important piece for me to write because I don’t know who I would be without the life-changing legislation. The disability community wanting things like accessibility and inclusion should never be considered “high expectations.” Disabled people advocating for basic human rights isn’t asking too much because…

DISABLED RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS

ADA ADASo it’s only fitting that I shared these photos over the weekend for the ADA’s 30th anniversary. They’re from last summer and it was my very first time in an accessible taxi. I was amazed at the freedom it gave me while exploring NYC. It’s that freedom, access and opportunity that disability rights activists have been fighting for and will continue to fight for. We celebrate, but realize there’s much more work to be done because true inclusion can’t happen without disability inclusion.

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I write about how my parents first taught me about advocating for yourself in elementary school…

I’ve learned the sheer power of my own voice. I’m not sure who I would be in 2020 if it weren’t for the ADA. When people ask how they can support the disability community, I always say it’s simple: Listen to us. Listen to the people who are living with the disability every day and take your cue from the disabled people in your life. We know what we need — after all, we’ve been advocating for our entire lives.

I’d love to see our society get to a place where accessibility and accommodations aren’t headlines because they’re just so commonplace. Where disabled people don’t always have to advocate for themselves.

More than anything, though, I want disabled people to be proud of who they are. I want them to know that their voice has power. And I want them to live in a world that fully includes them!

We still have a long way to go in breaking down stereotypes about disabilities and the constant ableism can be exhausting. Society sees disability as less than and makes a lot of assumptions about what it’s like to live with a disability. Let’s change this!

ADAAlso, I can’t finish this post without giving a huge, special shout-out to my fab sister for being my stylist again!! She picked out the perfect ensemble for my interview and I’m so grateful for her fashionable eye and sense of style. Isn’t she great?? Thanks for helping me celebrate the ADA, sis!!

You can read the full piece here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

Dear Trolls: We Are NOT the Labels You Place on Us

trollsThink about this question for a moment, friends: When was the last time someone made you feel less than or unworthy?? And also, why is it that online trolls seem to come out of the woodwork in spurts lately??

You all know that I’m no stranger to trolls and their sad, pitiful, pathetic shenanigans. Heck, I even got a viral tweet because of their behavior. But even though I’m no stranger to their taunts and tormenting, their words still sting. I don’t like to admit that; I’m not proud of the fact that sometimes, I let their words get to me more than I probably should.

Lately, though, these trolls have seemed to be around more than usual. Maybe they’re bored in quarantine? Maybe they’re just unhappy with their own life? I’m not sure what their reasoning is, but lately, I’ve seen such ableism when it comes to their taunts.

So, as a disabled person, I’m just here to remind those trolls that people with disabilities don’t exist for their chuckles. A couple weeks ago, I got several messages from people who were excited to let me know that my viral tweet was featured on some humor site.

Over 3K comments and it’s obvious whoever posted it did so as a joke. Not cool and not funny at all. I saw the word ugly over and over, along with these other gems. Y’all seriously need to check yourself and your ableism.

It was disheartening to read those comments, but it reminded me that even in 2020, the disabled are still considered less than. People to mock. And sometimes, we’re not even considered people in the first place.

trollsAnd don’t even get me started on what it’s like being a woman writer on the internet. File under The Cost of Being a Woman Writer on the Internet: When I got this “fan mail” in my inbox once, my first thought was, “Oh, like I haven’t heard this one a million times already! Maybe try something a little more original next time?”

Really, though, the joke’s on them because blobfish can live up to 130 years!!! I’m not going anywhere!!! Thank you, next.

Seriously, though, this is the reality of being a woman — and especially a woman writer. This is how women are treated and it’s not OK. When was the last time you saw a male writer criticized, mocked or taunted for their appearance? Spoiler alert: They’re usually not. Not nearly as often as women are.

Over the weekend, I got to thinking about all those cruel words I’ve heard lately — words like ugly, whale, fat and, yes, blobfish. What did I do, you ask?

I made that graphic above — my photo surrounded by actual comments trolls have left about me. I’ve got quite the collection, as you can see here! This is a reminder that we’re NOT the labels people place on us. People will talk. People will say things. But guess what? We don’t have to listen. They don’t get to tell us who we are.

Many of you have commented that I shouldn’t have blurred out the names of those trolls. Here’s the thing: I don’t need to reveal their names to call them out. I think it’s more important to focus on what they said as opposed to who they are. After all, who they are doesn’t matter.

I’m going to keep calling them out too. Not all of them because, let’s face it, there are a lot and only 24 hours in a day, but I make a point to call out the most horrific ones. That’s always been important to me and just one of the ways I speak up.

trollsOne more thing worth noting about trolls: I’ve been on social media for more than a decade, so I’ve seen A LOT. But I’ve never seen (and experienced) as much toxic ridicule and straight-up bullying as I have in the last four years. The fact that this coincides with Trump’s presidency is no coincidence. It’s telling. I’ve said this before and I’ll keep saying it: He’s encouraged and emboldened this disgusting behavior.

In the end, the trolls may say that I’m “ugly as hell,” but the joke is on them because I’m feeling GOOD AS HELL. And come on, “Ugly” looks pretty darn cute in a flower crown too!!! xoxo

My Essay on Rooted In Rights: “Facebook Avatars Are Fun…But They’re Definitely Not Disability-Inclusive”

Facebook AvatarsRemember two weeks ago when everyone was posting their Facebook avatars?? When I saw friend after friend sharing their adorable, hip selves in cartoon form, I was naturally curious to see what all the fun and fuss was about. So, I clicked a few buttons, chose a few facial and fashion features and…voila!

The result? My avatar looked nothing like me. For my third piece for Rooted In Rights, I wrote about how the cute avatars fail when it comes to disability inclusion.

Sure, I had the polo shirt and Big Hair Energy, but it was incredibly disappointing to find out that there wasn’t a way to show my disability, though. My wheelchair is a huge part of who I am. In fact, there weren’t any assistive devices, which is pretty ableist and not at all inclusive.

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I make the case for the importance of inclusion and how disability representation matters, even in Facebook avatar form…

Disabled people deserve to be represented just like everyone else. All too often, disability inclusion is an after-thought – things become more inclusive only after disabled people speak up and demand change. It would be great to live in a world where this inclusion is part of the plan from the very beginning.

Facebook Avatars may seem like a small thing, but making them more inclusive will show people with disabilities in a better, more accurate way. We’ve got places to go and things to do and our walkers, canes, and wheelchairs help us get there. Those devices deserve just as much prominence as our hair color or eye color.

I’d wanted to create the best version of myself with my avatar, but as it turns out, that was impossible. Without my wheelchair or any representation of my disability, that redheaded, polo shirt-wearing woman just wasn’t me at all.

Facebook AvatarsAND…thanks to the talents of someone on Twitter, my wheelchair is now included in my Facebook avatar!!! Isn’t it perfect?? I took one look at it and immediately exclaimed, “YESSSSSS, this is me!!!”

You can read the full piece here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

Why I Want You to See My Wheelchair In Photos

Wheelchair Wheelchair“It’s not cool to be in a wheelchair.”

“No one wants to be in a wheelchair.”

“A disability isn’t something to be proud of.”

These are just some of the ableist things people have said to me. Obviously, I didn’t listen because I was far too busy LOVING my disabled body!!! Please, don’t be like these people, but if you ARE one of those people: Let’s talk about disability and pride for a minute!

After my viral tweet, I noticed something very interesting: I don’t have many photos that show my whole wheelchair. Can you believe that, friends? It was quite a shock, to say the least, because my wheelchair is a huge part of my life. Why is that, I wondered?? Maybe part of the reason is because I take so many selfies and lost one of those cool selfie sticks that my cousin gave us a couple years ago.

Whatever the reason, I’ve been on a mission to change that, to make my wheelchair just as much a part of a photo as my smiling face or my red hair. In fact, I even wrote about my wheelchair last fall in which I shared all the things my wheelchair has allowed me to do in life. Some people see a wheelchair as a prison, as something that holds you back, but you know what? My wheelchair has given me life. It’s given me freedom. It’s liberated me from the constraints of my disability. Without these fab and fast wheels, I wouldn’t have been able to work on my college newspaper, graduated college or teach the journalists of tomorrow as a newspaper adviser.

WheelchairIn other words: I wouldn’t be ME without it. So I’m always surprised and, frankly, angry when I see people fail to see just how important mobility devices are for disabled people. Do you think your legs are a prison? Do you feel confined by them?

Of course not! The same is true of my wheelchair. They’re my legs and I wouldn’t be able to live a full life without it.

Last year, I wrote an op-ed about the new wheelchair Barbie, so when I spotted her in the store over Christmas, I just had to take a selfie of us together! If for no other reason than to show my younger self and other disabled kids that they’re seen & they matter. Isn’t that awesome?!?!?

So look out, world…Barbie and I are rolling into a new era. And we’re here for disability representation!! I love my wheelchair and I’m proud to be disabled. Here I am, world. Who’s with me??? xoxo