My Essay on CNN Opinion: “What I Learned After My Troll-Defying Tweet Went Viral”

TweetOne of my writing goals for the remainder of 2019 was to publish my 20th op-ed on CNN Opinion. It feels very fitting that 20th piece is about what I’ve learned from going viral with my tweet last week.

The last week has felt like a surreal dream and I did my best to put that dream into words! That’s also one of my favorite things about writing — to be able to process what’s happened to me. Because let’s face it: The events of the last week have left A LOT to process. Don’t get me wrong — I’m so grateful for everything that has happened. But a lot has happened in such a short amount of time, and it was certainly nice to sit down and reflect on it.

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I learned that so many women journalists are concerned about their safety these days because of their work…

I won’t pretend that those words didn’t sting, but I knew that I couldn’t let them win. I’m going to give them the exact opposite of what they want, I thought. They don’t want me to post photos of myself? Well, that’s exactly what I’m going to do!

The fact that this simple tweet has taken on a life of its own is both surreal and overwhelming, but I’m so glad that I tweeted my photos. It was my message to trolls and haters, my way of saying “I’m taking back my power.”

All the women journalists I know? We’re not going anywhere. We’re still here and we’re staying here. We’re going to continue to do our jobs and we’re going to continue to exist on social media. The world is already so unsafe for women. We shouldn’t have to feel unsafe online too.

I also want to give a special THANK YOU to my editors Jane and Yaffa ​​ — two of the most amazing editors I’ve ever worked with! They’ve made me a better writer and I’ve learned so much from them! Everyone should have a Jane and Yaffa in their corner!!

You can read the full piece here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so I see your tweet and we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

[Photo via Unsplash]

So About What I Said…In My Very First Viral Tweet

So About What I Said So About What I SaidAs I’ve been fond of saying lately, “That was a time!” And by that, in this case, I’m referring to just the last 48 hours alone!! But first, hello to new readers of So About What I Said…

It seems one of my tweets has gone VIRAL. We’re talking about the good kind of viral here, not the kind of germs that invade your body and leave you laid up in bed for days or weeks — I should know since I’ve had those sorts of body invaders before and it’s NOT FUN, let me tell you!

Anyway, first, here is the tweet that’s getting quite a bit of attention, in which I say this: “During the last round of trollgate, people said that I should be banned from posting photos of myself because I’m too ugly. So I’d just like to commemorate the occasion with these 3 selfies.”

So About What I SaidThat tweet stemmed from — you guessed it! — a run-in with some hateful trolls last month. I was pretty shocked and stunned at the time, though I know I shouldn’t be because this is America in 2019. Some conservative YouTuber mentioned my CNN op-ed about why we should all unfollow Trump and I made the mistake of reading the comments. In addition to being a “so-called journalist,” I’m fat, ugly and look like a blob fish, a parade balloon and a potato with a face.

The dig at my journalism credentials doesn’t bother me, but you know what?? I’m getting so tired of people (read: men) thinking it’s OK to insult a woman’s appearance. Yes, my disability makes me look different. Trust me, I know that. I’ve known that my entire life.

And people wonder why I’ve struggled so much with self-acceptance when it comes to how I look and our society’s notion of what “beautiful” is. It’s because of comments like these — comments that dismiss me and deem me unworthy.

This is just one more example of the type of ableism that people with disabilities face every day and it’s something I’m constantly trying to change. It’s the reason I wrote that Glamour essay earlier this year. And it’s the reason I posted those selfies; it was my way of telling the trolls that they’re not going to get the best of me. If they knew anything about me, then they’d know that the second they tell me not to do something is the second I’m going to do exactly that!

But enough about those trolls! I’m so glad that my viral tweet has led you here and I thank you for stopping by! I’m a freelance writer covering relationships, disabilities and pop culture. You can subscribe to my blog if you’re so inclined — sign-up is on the right-hand side! And here’s more about me as well as some of my clips — and, yes, I know my clips section is in woeful need of an update! It’s been on my to-do list forever!

So About What I Said So! Whoa! Wow! Just two days ago, I had 7,500 followers. Now, I’ve got 37,000 and my tweet has been retweeted more than ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND times!!

Thank you again, friends!!!! I’m completely speechless, which is rare for me!! And thank you so much for reading So About What I Said… xoxo

My Essay on The Week: “It’s Time to Redesign the Accessibility Logo”

accessibility logoI’m so glad that I got to write about this!! It’s my second op-ed for The Week. I’ve long been an advocate of redesigning the accessibility logo to better reflect WHO we are as people with disabilities and the reality of our lives!! When it comes to things like inclusion and disability representation, it’s so important that they’re accurate.

This is something that I’ve wanted to write about for awhile, so when one of my former editors (hi, Elizabeth Yuko, if you’re reading!! 👋🏻) sent me this story tip, it was just the timely news hook I needed.

So what exactly was that news hook, you ask? The state of Ohio is trying to redesign the accessibility logo to better reflect people with with a disability, to make it more dynamic and less stagnant, where the person is just sitting in their wheelchair waiting for someone to come and push them.

Unfortunately, the plans are being put on hold, and that’s unfortunate. A revamped, more modern logo would go a long way to changing public perception about what it’s like to live with a disability in 2019 — it would definitely squash some of those outdated stereotypes of someone who is helpless and dependent on others.

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I remind society, YET AGAIN, of all the things disabled people are and what they’re not. You’d think people would catch on by now, but…

We are a vibrant, independent people who aren’t sitting around, dependent on others. I often say that living with a disability is a verb in every sense of the word; that’s something the able-bodied community tends to forget sometimes. People with disabilities are working, socializing, shopping, vacationing, and just generally going about their lives. The last thing we’re doing is waiting for someone else to help us get somewhere.

Maybe that’s why I feel so strongly about the power of the accessibility logo’s proposed redesign. A logo that shows someone in a wheelchair propelling themselves forward could instill a better image of people with disabilities in the national mind. Every day, I and millions of others in the disability community fight stigmas and stereotypes. Showing us as we really are, even if it’s only in an illustration, would be a powerful way to help us be seen and better understood.

You can read the full piece here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

[Photo via Unsplash]

My Date With the DMV: Before and After

DMVI called this post “My Date With the DMV: Before and After” for a very specific reason…

Let’s start at the beginning of the day! There was such promise in that early-morning summer sunshine, and it practically radiated optimism directly from the blue sky. Everything seemed like it was coming together: I was up early (a rarity for me!) and all ready to leave the house by 10:30. Heck, it was a veritable #LetsDoThis hashtag come to life! Oh, yes, I was a woman on a mission!

My destination? The local DMV office! I had to get my state ID renewed because it, umm, expired in 2016. I know, I know — let the record show that I take FULL responsibility for my laziness here.

Now, maybe I was just being naive (story of my life sometimes!), but I thought this whole thing would be a piece of cake. You know, a one-and-done, in-and-out sort of situation. I mean, just look at my happy face in that “before” picture — I’m practically glowing with enthusiasm, don’t you think? I figured that I’d be out of there in 30 minutes at the most and have the rest of my day to enjoy…

Well, I’ve never been more wrong in my ENTIRE LIFE. There is nothing fast, speedy or quick about the DMV; they’re even slower than I am, and that’s saying something!

DMVThe place was packed — you’d think Shawn Mendes was in town for a concert. So I took a number — don’t remember what number it was exactly because, let’s be honest, I blocked out most of the experience! But I do remember that there were probably 40 or 50 people ahead of me!!

I waited. And waited. And waited.

Then, I was called up, which I thought was strange because my number hadn’t been called yet (I’d learn later that the elderly and disabled don’t have to wait), and for a brief moment, I felt another flicker of hope.

This was going to be a breeze!!

No, past Melissa, it’s not going to be a breeze. Not by a long shot!

Turns out, if your ID is expired for more than one year, then you need your birth certificate! Oops! I called Ms. Bear in a panic, and she brought it over — bless her heart, she even skipped Zumba!! Thanks, Mom!!

Think my adventure is over? Think again.

We had my birth certificate, but it was a copy of the certified copy — not acceptable!!

DMVWe left the DMV that day feeling very defeated!! We went home and, thankfully, found the golden ticket that is my actual birth certificate! But we were so exhausted from the day that we waited a day to go back. We thought it best to spread out the DMV fun.

All’s well that ends well, though, because a brand-spanking new, shiny ID is on its way to my house as I type this!

Whew!! That whole experience was certainly a time, wasn’t it?

Needless to say, I’ve learned my lesson about the DMV. The moral of this little stressful story? The DMV is not like a drive-thru fast food restaurant. Better block out an entire day to devote to the experience. Oh, and don’t wait THREE years to renew your state ID… xoxo

[Last photo via Unsplash]

My Essay on Rooted In Rights: “Here’s What Dr. Phil Got Wrong in His Episode on Interabled Relationships”

interabled relationshipsIn March, you may have seen me post this on social media: Spent a good portion of today thinking about the Dr. Phil episode featuring an interabled couple and more ableist tropes than should be in 2019. It’s irresponsible to present this narrative of disability. People with disabilities aren’t burdens. We’re human. When I posted about Dr. Phil’s ableist views on interabled relationships, I’m sure many of you knew an op-ed would be coming!! Here it is!! And it’s my first for Rooted In Rights — remember my second piece on Ali Stroker’s historic Tony nomination?

I love that my job allows me to be a voice for the disability community. To speak up for a group whose voices and needs are continually overlooked and dismissed. I may only be one voice, but I’ll never stop speaking up and being an advocate for people with disabilities. Always. And when it comes to interabled relationships, this is especially true!

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I write honestly about what it’s like to have a disability and the kinds of care we require…

And here’s something important that Dr. Phil seems to forget: There are different types of “caregiving.” It’s not just about the physical. I may require a lot of personal care from my family, but that doesn’t mean I can’t care for them as well, especially when it comes to emotional caregiving. The episode is a perfect illustration of the sort of ableism people with disabilities encounter on a daily basis. People are surprised when I tell them some of the things people have told me and sometimes, I wonder what’s worse: Their surprise or the fact that I’m not surprised by any of it.

Why are we still buying into the “burden” narrative when it comes to people with disabilities? People with disabilities are not burdens. We’re human. And we deserve to be treated with dignity.

interabled relationshipsYou can read the full piece here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo