My Essay on Refinery29: A Message To TikTok Parents About the New Teacher Challenge

New Teacher ChallengeAs a freelance writer, it’s always exciting to break into publications I haven’t written for before — and it’s even MORE exciting when editors from those publications reach out to me and offer assignments!! That’s how my first piece for Refinery29 came about and it’s about a topic I wish I didn’t have to write about, but it was so important that I did. Did you hear about the New Teacher Challenge prank that was going around on TikTok at the beginning of the school year?

Well, buckle up, friends!! You’re in for one bumpy ride…

In August, everyone seemed to be participating in the latest viral trend in which people were using photos of disabled people to prank and scare others. I found out that someone was using my photo for this and I was utterly disgusted. I shouldn’t have to tell y’all just how ableist this is, but here we are: Disabled people aren’t here for your mockery, your ridicule or to be the joke. We’re not objects. We’re people.

I’m so glad that I got to write about the New Teacher Challenge prank, but like I said, I wish I never had to in the first place. Seeing this trend is hurtful, but I hope my piece will make people think twice before participating. This whole disgusting prank has only reinforced how important disability representation is. We need to normalize seeing people who don’t look like us. We need to teach the next generation that facial differences should be celebrated, not feared or mocked.

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I don’t mince words about how the New Teacher Challenge prank has made me feel…

Adults who actually think this is okay, and worse…even funny, should know better. There’s absolutely no excuse. They should be the ones teaching their children how harmful and hurtful these pranks are, not laughing in the background as their child recoils at the sight of a disabled person. We live in a society where people who look “different” are seen as ugly and grotesque; those messages start being taught at a young age. Think about how many Disney villains have some sort of deformity.

I want to be clear: I am violated. Every single time. Each photo, taunt, and cruel word is a clear violation of my dignity and my worth as a human being. And every time these platforms fail to take action, they’re sending the message that this bullying is okay. So many disabled people have become inured to our appearance being mocked. That’s not something we should ever have to get used to.

I often wonder when society will finally normalize disabilities. Will it be in my lifetime?

Each time I post a selfie or I share something about my life as a disabled woman, I feel like that is representation that is going to really combat ableism. Because really, it’s 2020 and disabled people shouldn’t have to hide; I think that’s part of the reason I’m so adamant about being so visible and posting so many pictures of myself. It’s my way of combating the trolls and showing them that they’re not going to drive me off social media!

I’ve also been doing lots of press for this piece and it’s been so cool to actually talk about it instead of just write about it. Here are my interviews with NPR, Forbes and CNN.

New Teacher ChallengeThe Refinery29 designers worked their magic and added those cool colors to this selfie and I’m in LOVE.

Fun fact: This is also the photo trolls use as an example of “ugly,” but I actually felt hot AF when I took this last summer. I was having my moment in NYC

Thanks again for all your love, support and messages this week too!! Y’all are just awesome, so thank you for making the Internet a brighter place!!

You can read the full piece here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so I see your tweet and we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

My Interview on ABC 7 News: “Blogger Delivers Pointed Response…”

ABC 7 NewsOooh, friends!!! Do you know what I’m most terrified of doing?? It has absolutely nothing to do with my writing, but then again…it is directly related to my writing. How’s that for a riddle?? I’m talking about INTERVIEWS. Specifically, my interview with…ABC 7 News!!!

Not the kind of interviews I do when I’m the one writing the story, mind you — although, I was downright terrified when I interviewed Bradley Whitford earlier this year! I mean, I was practically hyperventilating, but that’s to be expected I suppose, right??? We are talking about THE WEST WING here, so…

But back to my ABC interview! One of the things that no one tells writers about is just how nervous you’ll be during interviews when you’re the one answering the questions. It’s honestly terrifying! My head spins. My palms sweat buckets. My mouth even gets dry. And all the while, I can’t stop asking the same questions to myself: Am I saying the right thing?? Do I sound like I know what I’m talking about?

I guess I did OK with the ABC 7 News because it was even on the local Chicago show called Localish. It was great chatting about my viral tweet and living with a disability.

You can watch the interview here, but here’s my favorite quote…

“I think my disability has given me a lot of strength, and I don’t think that is something that you necessarily think of when you think of disabled because all society thinks that disabled is something bad and it’s, like, shameful… but I am very proud to be disabled and I think it’s made me a stronger person.”

ABC 7 NewsWhat a fun time!! So maybe I didn’t really have to worry that much, huh?? I do tend to overreact sometimes! And, of course, I would be remiss if I didn’t give my mom a special shout-out! She served as my amazing stylist and picked out the most poppin’ outfit. Don’t you just love it, friends?!?!? xoxo

My Essay on Upworthy: “Disability Pride Month…You Should Know…”

Disability Pride MonthGuess what? A couple weeks ago, I got to write my first piece for Upworthy all about July’s Disability Pride Month!!! And I couldn’t be more proud of how the piece turned out, friends…

July was a HUGE month for disability rights as we celebrated both the 30th anniversary of the Americans With Disabilities Act and Disability Pride Month.

Predictably, neither was mentioned by Trump or the White House. At all. If this doesn’t tell you exactly how this administration feels about disabled people, then I don’t know what will. But, really, did we expect them to? Of course not!! I suppose that’s a topic for a separate blog post, though!

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which it was so powerful to put all my feelings about disability pride into words:

“Finally, we’re seeing this trend of disabled people reclaiming what it means to have a disability. We don’t typically see the words pride and disability together, but for disabled people like me, the two words go hand in hand. “Disability pride” is a declaration as much as it is a celebration, where the disability community is shouting, “Yes, disabled people want to be seen and heard. And guess what? We’re not going anywhere!”

My hope is that one day, we won’t need any entire month to remind people that it’s okay to celebrate disabilities and that society will celebrate us because they see our inherent worth and dignity just like we do. Until that day, though, here’s a reminder one more time: Please, see my wheelchair. See my disability. See all of me.”

I also think it’s important to talk about the journey of “disability pride” itself. People sometimes think that becoming comfortable in your disabled body is automatic. Trust me, it’s NOT. Loving yourself in a society that says you shouldn’t is a lifelong process. It’s a journey I’ll always be on, but one I’m proud to be on!

You can read the full piece here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so I see your tweet and we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

13 Game-Changing Disability Activists to Follow on Social Media

Disability ActivistsI’ve really been enjoying talking about disabilities and disability representation this week, friends!! So today, I’d love to shout-out a few of my favorite disability activists on social media…

We’re so used to seeing downright vile behavior online and it’s what we’ve come to expect in 2020. I’ll admit that it can get so depressing sometimes, so we start to question humanity. I can’t tell you how many times a day I find myself asking “what is wrong with people??”

But this isn’t a depressing post. Because the more good I see, the more I want to shout it from the rooftops!! And the disability community on social media?? Ohhhhh, yes, they are a FORCE. And nowhere are they more of a force than on Instagram!! Y’all, they are truly taking over the social media platform in the best, most glorious way possible. They’re starting much-needed conversations around disability and sexuality, ableism, how you can be a disability ally and what it’s like living day-to-day as a disabled person.

In short, they’re getting real and honest…and you can bet I’m here for it!! So often, disabilities are left out of the conversation when we’re talking about marginalized groups and it’s super disappointing. See us. Include us. Talk about us. These disability movers and shakers are doing just that and SO MUCH MORE.

Honestly, one of the things I love most about social media is following so many disability activists!! I love how they’re literally painting a picture of disability in 2020 — the beauty, the pain and, YES, the pride!! It’s all there and I could spend hours just scrolling through my feed — umm, OK, maybe I already do that!! #SorryNotSorry

I’ve wanted to shout-out my favorites for awhile, so here you go!! Drop your faves in the comments too!!

Disability ActivistsLeft to right: Alex Dacy (aka Wheelchair Rapunzel), Denarii Grace, Jason Clymo

Disability ActivistsClockwise from top left: Carly Findlay, Emily Ladau, Wendy Lu, Cherie, Carson Tueller, Shane Burcaw, Hannah Aylward

Disability ActivistsLeft to right: Karin Hitselberger, Ariel Henley, Alaina Lavoie

The future is accessible, so get in because we’ve got places to go and barriers to break down!! Are you in?? xoxo

P.S. Here are more influential black women with disabilities to follow…

The ADA Anniversary Didn’t Trend on Social Media. Here’s Why That’s a Problem.

ADA anniversaryYesterday, I shared my newest piece for Yahoo Life all about this month’s ADA anniversary. This year was a huge milestone — THIRTY YEARS — so I was excited to see all the coverage and disabled stories about where we’ve been, where we are and where we’re going in the next 30 years.

Well, Sunday’s official anniversary came and went. While, yes, there was coverage, one thing stuck out to me: The anniversary didn’t even trend on social media. And for some reason, I’ve been thinking about that a lot these past few days. Not because I’m sad or mad or annoyed, which I am (all three, actually), but because the lack of major recognition is just, well, the status quo when it comes to disabilities.

It’s something that disabled people like myself know all too well. It’s super disappointing that the ADA wasn’t even a blip in the news cycle ON THE ACTUAL ANNIVERSARY. At all. The anniversary of the biggest disability rights legislation and nope…nothing. What kind of inexcusable shenanigans are these??

I mean, this is what disabled people experience every day. This is our life, so I’m not surprised, but I would expect more from 2020.

On a deeper level, this lack of visibility is telling. It’s incredibly symbolic of how disabled people are still treated in 2020. We’re ignored. We’re left out. We’re forgotten about. We’re mocked. We’re undermined. We’re an after-thought.

So…why do I post photos of myself? To normalize disability. Maybe if more people saw disabled people, they would see us as actual human beings. Maybe they wouldn’t mock us with horrible names. Just a thought.

ADA anniversaryI don’t know who needs to hear this, but…

Disabled bodies are worthy

Disabled bodies are beautiful

Disabled bodies are hot

Disabled bodies are spectacular

Also, we need to start saying that word.

Disabled.

It’s not “differently abled”

It’s not “special needs”

It’s DISABLED.

Why are people so afraid to use that word?? I’ve seen people perform feats of word gymnastics trying to come up with a euphemism when really…

DISABLED IS NOT A BAD WORD

People are shocked when I say I’m PROUD to be disabled because we still live in a society where pride + disability don’t belong in the same sentence.

But I’m here to tell you they do belong together!! That’s why I’m so open about my life with a disability and want the world to see disabilities in a new way. My disability pride has taught me to be more vocal. To speak up. And, yes, to show my face — hi, selfies! Disabled people are here and we’re proud.

I recently asked my mom to take some new photos of me in my wheelchair for Disability Pride Month. Y’all know I haven’t always been comfortable in my body and that’s because I’m not used to seeing people like me, but that’s changing…and I couldn’t be more excited!! Disabled body representation is the future and I’m here for it.