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Monday, October 21, 2019

My Very First Speech At a Political Event

Political PoliticalPolitical Event.

Yes, you read that right, friends! Political speech, you ask? What political speech is she talking about? Since when does Melissa give political speeches?

As of last Thursday, to be exact.

The local Democratic Party asked me to give the keynote address for their annual dinner and I was beyond honored. I was excited to talk about my recent viral tweet, my career as an op-ed writer and how I’m speaking up in the age of Trump. It was my first political speech!

POLITICAL SPEECH.

In fact, that was literally the title of my speech: “Speaking Up In the Age of Trump.” And while I didn’t know what I wanted to say at first, the minute I sat down at the keyboard, the words just seem to pour out pretty quickly.

Plus, the speech itself? It wasn’t nearly as nerve-wracking as I thought it would be. Once I rolled on up to the mic, the anxiety went away!! Maybe it’s because I was channeling the great Elizabeth McCord from Madam Secretary? I mean, she can go to political battle with the best of ’em, if you ask me!

I thought I’d post the text of my speech on the blog today in case you’d like to read it…

Hello, everyone! Thanks so much for coming out tonight! I want to thank Kori and Mark for inviting me to speak here tonight. This is my first speech at a political event, but don’t worry, I’ve been binge-watching CBS’ Madam Secretary” which follows the career and life of fictional Secretary of State Elizabeth McCord, and I’ve been taking mental notes on the art of giving a good speech. I just hope I can live up to Secretary McCord’s awesomeness!

If you follow me on social media (or read The Daily Chronicle), then you know that I’ve had quite a busy month. In early September, I posted a tweet in which I stood up to some nasty internet trolls and that tweet quickly went viral. The response has been overwhelming and exciting in the very best way possible, but more than anything, the response has been completely unexpected. I didn’t think it was anything extraordinary at the time to clap back at the bullies. After all, speaking up and speaking my mind is something I’ve been doing all my life.

But let me back up a little first. I was born with Freeman-Sheldon syndrome, a genetic bone and muscular disorder; I’ve had more than 25 surgeries on my knees, hips, hands and spine and spent much of my childhood in and out of the hospital and doctors’ offices. Outside of the medical world, though, I was just me. Melissa. And I credit my parents for giving me as normal of a childhood as possible and raising me to be strong, determined and, yes, VERY outspoken.

PoliticalI’ve been a lifelong DeKalb resident – born and raised here. I graduated from DeKalb High School in 2000, got my Associates from Kishwaukee College in 2002 and then my Bachelors from NIU in 2005. It was while in school that I fell in love with writing – and, specifically, journalism. The experience I gained on both the Kish student newspaper, The Kaleidoscope, and NIU’s Northern Star was invaluable and only confirmed that, yes, journalism was indeed the career for me. In fact, I loved The Kaleidoscope so much that nearly a decade after I was a student, I came back as adviser, where I loved teaching the journalists of tomorrow the ins and outs of the business. As I always say, my job description was “to mold future Bob Woodwards” and that’s a responsibility that I never took lightly.

Although I worked as a copy editor and reporter on those college newspapers, it was op-ed writing that I loved the most. Interestingly, my mom even wrote that very thing in our family Christmas letter in 2001 – that I’ve found my niche in opinion writing.

And, boy, was she right. Since graduating college, I’ve built a career as a freelance writer with an emphasis on op-eds. I’ve written 21 op-eds for CNN as well as pieces for NYT, WaPo, WSJ, The Week, Glamour and Cosmo.

As you can imagine, the current administration has given me plenty of material to work with. In fact, it was an op-ed about Trump that inspired my viral tweet. After I wrote a CNN op-ed in August about why we should all unfollow Trump on Twitter, a conservative YouTuber mentioned me in one of his videos, calling me a “so-called journalist” – a moniker I even considered putting in my Twitter bio out of spite. I made the mistake of reading the comments on that video, even though I knew better! And sure enough, all the comments were about my appearance instead of my words. Apparently, I was fat, ugly and looked like a blob fish. The worst, though, was the comment that I should be banned from posting photos of myself.

I learned pretty early on that being a woman writer, especially one with a disability, was going to open me up to trolls on the internet. People respectfully critiquing my work has never bothered me. Instead, what’s bothered me the most is people going right for attacking my appearance; No mention of what I wrote…just making fun of how I look.

So after the op-ed went up in August and I saw those comments, I knew I wanted to respond in some way. If anything, I wanted to show those trolls that they weren’t going to get the best of me. One night in early September, I tweeted three photos of myself, along with this caption: “During the last round of trollgate, people said that I should be banned from posting photos of myself because I’m too ugly. So I’d just like to commemorate the occasion with these 3 selfies…”

It was my cheeky, defiant way of saying, “OK, you don’t want to see my face? Well, then, that’s all you’re going to see…times three!”

I wish I could say that the comments from the trolls surprised me, but, honestly, theirs is a reaction that I’ve come to expect. We have someone in the White House whose very MO is to bully, belittle and demean, especially women. He’s normalized this behavior – the behavior of a schoolyard bully – and so I think a lot of people, especially his supporters, see that and think it’s OK.

Do I think those trolls will ever see my tweet? Probably not. But maybe that’s not really the point. Maybe the point was to do it for me and for other people who experience any kind of bullying, whether online or IRL. And, WOW, have people sure responded to my tweet. I’ve heard from people all over the world – in Brazil, England, the Netherlands, Australia – and they all told me how much they relate to my tweet and how much they appreciated it.

I’m so glad that my tweet sparked a conversation because over the last month, I’m realizing more and more just how powerful speaking up can be. And that’s exactly what we need as we move closer and closer to the 2020 election. We need people to speak out – against injustice, against racism, against homophobia, against antisemitism, against the unraveling of this country at the hands of Trump.

The ideals of the flag have not held up for everyone. We continue to see this every single day and we have a duty to work toward the ideals set forth by our Founding Fathers, who I often think are rolling in their graves right now. Trump is fond of saying things are unpatriotic. Taking a knee is unpatriotic. Criticizing the government is unpatriotic. The press is unpatriotic. But the very act of protesting is about the most patriotic thing we can do as Americans; it’s what this country was founded on. In the 1700s, Colonists protested against English tyranny. Since 2016, we’ve been protesting the tyranny of Trump and his administration’s policies that are hurting so many people.

PoliticalSo often, women are told to be quiet. They shouldn’t rock the boat. They should just sit there and be likeable. Any time we see an outspoken women, we label her aggressive or mean or, in Trump’s own words “a nasty woman.” We have so many negative connotations with women who are forthright and aren’t afraid to speak their minds. Two years ago, during my first round with internet trolls, someone on Twitter even bestowed me with my very own nickname when I “dared” to push back against the patriarchy.

“You purveyor of matriarchy,” they tweeted, probably thinking that it was the greatest insult ever.

But you know what? I took it as ANYTHING but an insult. Instead, I took it as the biggest compliment I could ever receive and ran with it, even having an illustration done of me with the words “Purveyor of the Matriarchy” across the top. That illustration sits prominently as my cover photo on social media and, honestly, I couldn’t be happier or more proud to live out that title every day.

In my very first op-ed for CNN back in 2017, I wrote these words…

“There will be those people who say that I shouldn’t say anything, that I’ll never be able to change people’s minds. They’ll caution me not to rock the boat or make too big a deal of things. And to those people, I say this: What if you had said that to Susan B. Anthony during women’s suffrage or to Rosa Parks during the civil rights movement? What if you had told them they shouldn’t be so outspoken? And what if they’d listened?

We’d no doubt be living in a very different world. I shudder to think what humanity would be like, don’t you?

Because every time we choose silence over speaking up, that line of normalization widens the circle just a little, as if to say, ‘Yes, this behavior is perfectly acceptable.’”

Among the emails that came pouring in after my tweet went viral (and trust me, it was so nice to receive nice emails from people instead of the nasty emails I’ve gotten in the past), I received one just a few days ago from a woman named Jami.

“Thank you. Thank you for speaking out,” she wrote. “Thank you for your bravery and courage to speak your truth in the face of hatred and discouragement. Thank you for speaking out for those of us who are not able to.”

I was so moved by her words. They show exactly why I’ve always spoken up. And why I’ll continue to speak up.

Indeed, women who dare to make waves are powerful. And come November 2020, let’s make sure those waves are blue, blue, blue!

Seriously, though, it was such an inspiring and uplifting evening!! I was truly honored to be a part of it and see our democracy in action!

Some of you asked if I took a selfie during my big speech evening!! The answer??? OF COURSE I DID. Don’t y’all know me better than that by now?? I snapped this photo just after we arrived and tried to capture the political decor. I still can’t believe I got to do this!!

How do you get involved in our democracy and political process, friends? I’d love to hear all about it, so feel free to tell me about all the ways you’re making a difference!! I love you!! xoxo

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9 Comments Filed Under: civil rights, Election, family

Tuesday, September 24, 2019

National Voter Registration Day

National Voter Registration DayAre you registered to vote? Today is National Voter Registration Day…

We keep this prominently displayed on our fridge as a constant reminder. We can’t forget what’s at stake…

Our life depends on it 🧠

Our planet depends on it 🌎

Our future depends on it 🔮

Our freedom depends on it 🗽

Are you registered?? Be sure to check your voting status or register to vote here because now more than ever, EVERY VOTE COUNTS. We need you, friends! And the future needs you too!! xoxo

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Leave a Comment Filed Under: civil rights, Election, Inspiration

Wednesday, August 14, 2019

My Essay on CNN Opinion: “What If We All Unfollowed Trump on Twitter?”

Unfollowed TrumpImagine if we all unfollowed Trump on Twitter. What would happen??

That’s the question I posed on social media recently, after I was inspired by Connecticut Senator Chris Murphy’s eye-opening tweet in which he explains why he did just that.

Then last week, I got to explore that question more in my latest for CNN Opinion because, frankly, there was just so much to unpack here. It sounds so simple, does it? And, it may even seem small, but I had a bit of a revelation while we were in New York City. I didn’t read Trump’s tweets all week and, honestly, I didn’t know this level of blissful existence was possible. For far too long, I found myself checking his Twitter on the regular — usually daily — and my mood was really starting to feel it. Without even realizing it, I’d developed this unhealthy habit. Why did I feel so compelled to read his disgusting dribble when most of it wasn’t even true? There’s enough bullying on social media. I certainly didn’t need to seek it out myself! The more I think about it, if we ALL unfollowed Trump? That just might be the most patriotic thing we ever do.

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I also explore whether it’s irresponsible, especially for me as an op-ed writer and journalist, to ignore his tweets…

I’ve found myself deep in that endless scrolling. What was he doing? What was he saying? Who was he bullying now? I looked at his Twitter not because I wanted to stay on top of current events necessarily; I just couldn’t put my phone down, in the same way that you can’t stop watching really bad reality TV for its shock value: “OMG, did he really just tweet that?” Sigh of disbelief.

Not reading Donald Trump’s words on social media would be a powerful act of collective resistance. Millions of us could be sending the message that racism, homophobia, misogyny and ableism have no place in 2019. Not in our communities. Not in our government. And not in our social media feeds.

What Trump craves is for Twitter to be his stage and for people who hang on his every word. He wants an audience. Let’s not give him one.

You can read the full piece here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

[Photo via Unsplash]

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2 Comments Filed Under: civil rights, CNN Opinion writing, Election

Thursday, July 4, 2019

My Essay on The Independent: “…I’ll Be Celebrating the Fourth of July Very Differently This Year”

Fourth of JulyHappy Fourth of July, friends! Instead of the usual jolly, patriotic fanfare that I usually bring to the blog every year on this historic American holiday, I’d like to talk about something more serious today. Because honestly? Well, I cringed when I wrote the word ‘happy‘ next to Fourth of July. I cringed because in 2019, we can’t look at things like the American flag and smile and beam with pride. At least, I can’t.

In fact, I wrote about this very topic for my newest op-ed in The Independent. Why? Because, frankly, things in our country seem downright dire these days. I know I’ve said that before, but you know what? I’m going to keep saying it until I don’t need to say it anymore — until the day when things actually change for the better. Some days, I worry that day will never come, that it’s some sort of impossible dream that will never come true.

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I wrote about how I’ll be “celebrating” the Fourth of July today and I hope that you’ll follow my lead…

So, yes, Lady Liberty is weeping this year. And we should be too. So this year, to “celebrate” the Fourth of July, I’ll be donating to organizations that are fighting to end family separation. It’s something I can do. It’s my way of saying to families at the border, “Yes, I see you and I’m with you.”

We as Americans are not any different than those crossing the border and it’s important that we remember that as we celebrate things like freedom and the ideals of this country. On the Fourth of July and every day. Immigrants don’t break this country; they make this country. They make it the beautiful melting pot that it is – rich in culture.

Fourth of JulyYou can read the full piece here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

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Leave a Comment Filed Under: civil rights, Election, The Independent writing

Thursday, June 20, 2019

Why Taylor Swift’s “You Need to Calm Down” Is More Opportunist Than Activist

Taylor SwiftLet it never be said that Taylor Swift doesn’t know how to market herself. The pop songstress has spent more than a decade in the spotlight honing and crafting her message, but, ironically, it’s her latest music video for “You Need to Calm Down” that could have used a lot less of Swift marketing herself.

On the surface, the video is a colorful bop taking aim at homophobia and haters, with a name-drop shout-out to GLAAD, a revolving door of celeb cameos and a plea at the end to support the Equality Act, which would prohibit discrimination based on sex, sexual orientation, and gender identity; it would provide civil rights protections in areas such as employment, housing, credit, education, public spaces and services, federally funded programs, and jury service.

Swift’s petition in support of the Equality Act has reached more than 350,000 signatures, and while it’s encouraging to see such support for civil rights, the singer’s new video just seems to hit all the wrong notes. Both the song and accompanying music video feel incredibly off-key and tone deaf. While the pop star’s intentions were for the release to be this huge LGBTQ anthem, the execution delivers a muddled mix that felt more opportunist than genuine activist — one that more often felt insulting and harmful to the very community she seeks to help.

Full disclosure: I say this as a former Swiftie, the name used to describe Swift’s legion of fans. There was a time when I’d listen to her albums on repeat and spend hours decoding her autobiographical lyrics; I appreciated and applauded her authenticity. But that authenticity never seemed to extend beyond her music. Over the years, unlike other musicians, Swift remained tight-lipped when it came to social issues. Only last year did she dip her toes in the political waters for the first time by breaking her silence during election season — it was a move that was met with criticism by some, who said it was too little, too late. Last fall, I wrote this blog post about her not speaking out when it came to political issues.

Taylor SwiftWhile Swift’s political silence was bad enough, it’s her statement with “You Need to Calm Down” that feels incredibly misguided and damaging. A Vulture headline asked the pointed question, “Where Is Taylor Swift Going With This?” and, well, that’s exactly what I’ve been wondering myself. Don’t get me wrong: We desperately need allies and activists. We need people like Swift using their platform to raise awareness and advocate for equal rights for LGBTQ people.

But for all of Swift’s desires to be that ally, the video shows us that Swift still has a lot to learn. For one, she seems to conflate her experience with criticism aimed at her as a celebrity and public figure with the long history of very real systematic hate, discrimination and violence that happens daily against the LGBTQ community. I get it. No one likes to be the subject of criticism — we all know I’ve been there many times. But the two are not the same and they never will be. It’s insulting and disrespectful to equate the two.

There’s also an incredibly danger in Swift centering herself in the video, like when she and longtime rival Katy Perry donned burger and fries costumes and hugged it out as a way to tell us they’ve put their feud behind them. All that seemed to just detract from the more important messages of the video. And, her seemingly using an entire community of people as a prop or a gimmick screams cultural appropriation at its finest; there’s advocating for a marginalized group and then there’s profiting off a marginalized group, and Swift’s video felt very much like the latter.

Taylor SwiftWhile I’m glad to see Swift (finally!) taking a stand, the optics of “You Need to Calm Down” wasn’t the way to go about it. As Vox’s Rebecca Jennings wrote…

These are questions that relate to the value of allyship in general — what purpose does it serve, exactly, for a pop star who has built a career on breathlessly romanticizing straight relationships to take on the mantle of gay rights? This isn’t so much about artists having to “stay in their lane” but about the fact that maybe there is a better way for Swift to support social causes instead of putting herself in the center of them.

It’s been 13 years since her first single — from singing about real-life experiences with heartfelt lyrics to co-opting cultures? I just can’t get behind this new Taylor Swift. She needs to check her privilege and her platform. In the end, I can’t help but notice the irony of the song title itself.

You need to calm down…

Maybe Taylor Swift should take her own advice.

What are your thoughts on the song and video, friends? Have you been a fan of Swift through the years? Do you think this new era of hers will create lasting change? Let’s chat… xoxo

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Leave a Comment Filed Under: civil rights, LGBTQ, music

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So About What I Said is a daily blog that covers relationships, disabilities, lifestyle and pop culture. I love to laugh and have been known to overshare. I also have an unabashed obsession with pop music, polo shirts, and PEZ dispensers. Read more...

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