Why Your Vote Is Crucial In the Midterm Election

Midterm ElectionListen, do you hear that? Listen closely. It’s the voices of the Founding Fathers and the Suffragettes like Susan B. Anthony. They’re all chanting, practically SHOUTING, from beyond the grave: Vote, vote, vote! Vote in the midterm election!

Maybe you think that opening paragraph was just a tad bit dramatic, but it’s not. The truth is, things are dire right now. All over the world and all over the United States — from coast to coast, town to town, house to house, life to life. We’re in trouble, and one look at the CV of the current administration over the last two years paints an alarming picture — and even worse, signals a dangerous and perilous future. The “president” said the safety of Americans is top priority. Yet, he and his administration want to…

*Define transgender out of existence
*Strip people of health insurance
*Mock people with disabilities
*Refuse stricter gun control laws
*Criticize the press
*Ridicule sexual assault survivors

And that’s only the beginning — the tip of the iceberg, if you will. Two black people are dead after they were just trying to go grocery shopping. And 11 Jewish people were killed while peacefully worshipping in their beloved synagogue. Two horrific attacks in less than one week. Two horrific acts of violence fueled by hate and committed by white males, NOT by foreign terrorists. It’s no coincidence that this violence mirrors the hate speech used by the “president.” It’s the same rhetoric used at his rallies, at press conferences and on Twitter. Make no mistake: He’s emboldened people. He’s normalized this behavior. I wrote this in my very first CNN op-ed last year and it’s even more true today: “The leader of our country has shown…no interest in restraining his supporters from attacking everyone.”

Grocery stores and churches are supposed to be safe places. You’re supposed to feel at home, not fear for your life.

That’s why I took my rage and disgust to the voting booth last weekend. I voted early because there’s this palpable sense of urgency to change things. We all have to do our part to bring about the change we want to see in our world. We can’t sit home and complain. We can’t keep getting into arguments on social media. We need to take that rage and desperation and channel it in a productive way.

One of the most productive ways to raise our voice is to vote. There is so much at stake in the midterm election, like 435 House seats and 33 Senate seats as well as which party controls the two chambers of Congress and has oversight power of the president and his administration. There are also 6,665 state positions (36 states will elect governors) and, of course, scores of local ones.

Midterm ElectionNeedless to say, there is much work to be done! Yet it’s scary to see statistics like only one third of Millennials are sure that they’ll head to the polls; the survey also found that young voters don’t feel represented by Congress. The good news? Sites like Vote Forward let you send letters to unlikely voters in the midterm election and early voting is already underway across the nation! You can find your voting location in seconds too!

As Tom Krattenmaker said in yesterday’s op-ed in USA Today…

“The one to heed is the voice telling you that the future direction of your society and your prospects of a dignified life are at stake. The one telling you that in this election more than most, voting is caring — caring about LGBT Americans, people of color, immigrants from “s—hole” countries, sexual assault survivors and others — all targets of the Trumpians and all under threat of losing their rights and their rightful place in society. It’s the voice telling you that voting is an act of noncompliance — noncompliance with political forces that do not have your interests in mind and want you to lie down and be quiet.”

America, what have we become? Where do we want to go? And are you going to join the fight to get us there? Imagine a world where people rush to the voting booth with the same urgency as they have when buying a Mega Millions lottery ticket. What a bright future that would be. A bright future, indeed…

Midterm ElectionHave YOU voted yet?? Let your voice be heard in the midterm election and help chart the course of this country’s future… xoxo

[Bottom photos via Unsplash]

In the #MeToo Era: Where Have All the Good Men Gone?

Good MenThis morning, I cued up the old Twitter and was greeted with a hashtag about National Boyfriend Day. It’s today, apparently. There’s a plethora of tweets from people bestowing the virtues of their boyfriend, giving shout-outs to their favorite celebrities and declaring that all they need is their cat. Oh, wait, that last one is just me. Either way, through the haze of lovey-dovey Internet PDAs, I couldn’t help but pull a Carrie Bradshaw and wonder: Where have all the good men gone??

This is a question that’s been haunting me for awhile now. It’s embedded in my brain and I just can’t seem to let it go. For some reason, I cling to it. And I don’t ask it as some bitter feminist who is on some angry tirade against men, even though every headline this week has sent me down yet another spiral of rage. Instead, I’m asking as a decent human being wondering out loud where all the decent men are these days.

Are they all hiding from me? Are they at the local Target? Busy taking a morning jog? Or maybe they’re all “too scared” to come out and actually support women when we need it the most? Honestly, that last scenario is the only one that seems plausible to me right now. Because I’m sure not seeing these good men that people like my mom swear are out there. All I’m seeing are entitled, mansplaining dude bros who are exasperated that they’re being called out because, for some, their cushy little life has never been disrupted like that before.

It’s a wake-up call for them, as it should be! Because no matter how many people say, “Oh, there ARE still good men in the world,” those words alone just aren’t enough anymore. In 2018, it’s simply not acceptable to just say these good men are out there. I, and so many women, need to SEE these supposed good men in action. Men need to be an integral part of the #MeToo movement and need to be loud and proud in their support of sexual assault survivors. They need to stand up to this world of misogyny and sexism that we’re living in and let women know that they’re not alone — that they have the support of men as well as women.

Remember that list I wrote when I was 17 — you know, the one about what traits I’d want the future Mr. Melissa Blake to possess? It contained some 20+ qualifications and looking back at that list now, I’m amazed at how high my standards were. Right now, in 2018, I just want someone who is a decent human being and knows that assault is WRONG. My, how low our standards and expectations have fallen, huh? It’s a sad state of affairs — one that, I’m sure, isn’t felt by just myself. I’m pretty sure a lot of people are currently feeling like this.

Good MenSo, what is the answer to my original question? I’m not sure, but I wish I knew where to go from here. I wish I knew how to move beyond this endless sea that we’re all drowning in. But I do know that the way out involves those good men, so I hope — on all that is holy — that they show themselves before it’s too late. Because that “too late” point? It’s coming faster than we think and sometimes, I think we’re already there.

As Zachary Hendrickson wrote in an op-ed for Columbia University’s Columbia Daily Spectator, it’s beyond time that men do something RIGHT NOW…

“Take the time to review your personal history with the same scrutiny that you wish the senate judiciary committee would have shown Judge Kavanaugh last week. Be honest with yourself and with others. Understand that we’re all capable of doing terrible things. Accept that no amount of “beer” or drugs can be used as an excuse. Then start digging. And no matter what you find at the end of that process, own up to it. Acknowledge it, work through it with a therapist if you need one, apologize for it, take actions to atone for it, and don’t ever let it happen again…”

Amen! Where are these good men, friends? How can we continue to fight for justice and equality in a world that feels so unjust and unequal right now? I’d love to hear your wisdom on this very-important topic. We need to keep this conversation going as long as it takes… xoxo

[Second photo via Unsplash]

Thoughts on the State of Women’s Equality In 2018…

Women's EqualityYesterday was Women’s Equality Day in honor of the 19th Amendment granting women the right to vote and, of course, the historical day got me thinking about the past, present and future.

We all* owe it to those strong and powerful Suffragettes to uphold their legacy, but also remember that the work is not done. It’s 2018 and women are still fighting for equality and fighting to be heard. We must never stop fighting. From the boardroom to the kitchen table and everywhere in between.

I love what Shelley Zalis, CEO of The Female Quotient, said about the power of fighting for women’s equality…

“We can’t wait for equality to happen. We have to make it happen. It is each of our responsibility to drive change. Educate yourself on political issues. Get to the voting booths. Run for office if you feel called to do so. On Women’s Equality Day and every day, let’s rewrite the rules that are no longer working and create new ones, together.”

Also, lest you think Women’s Equality Day means that women have achieved all the equality and no longer have to fend off wildly inaccurate mansplaining, I’d like to leave you with this gem: I once had a guy try to tell me that women and men have equal rights. And by “once,” I mean last year.

So where are we going, friends? And how do we get there? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this important topic! xoxo

*Yes, men, I’m looking at you too…

[Photo via Bettmann Archive]

What You Can Do to Help Stop Family Separation…

Family Separation Family SeparationToday is World Refugee Day and, sadly, I don’t think the cruel irony of that is lost on anyone. With the Trump administration’s “zero tolerance” approach to immigration, family separation at the border has drastically taken center stage in an extremely dangerous and downright unacceptable reality in this country. It should be our worst nightmare, but it’s not. It’s playing out right before our very eyes — every day — so the question then becomes: What can we do to stop it? What can we do to help these innocent children and their parents?

First, it’s important to make it abundantly clear: Separating families at the border has NOTHING to do with the law and EVERYTHING to do with an abusive violation of human rights.

That is, there is no law that mandates separating families at the border, and that alone should be enough to make us collectively scream out in rage. If not, consider this: Since April, when the zero-tolerance policy took effect, more than 2,000 children have been separated from their parents at the U.S. border. And, asylum-seeking families — families who are fleeing violence and persecution in their home countries — are also being separated, even though they are seeking refuge legally and complying with immigration laws for entering the country.

“The idea that children can be protected by tearing them away from their families defies all sense of logic and humanity,” said Margaret Huang, executive director of Amnesty International USA. “These are children who have already suffered the trauma of violence and persecution in their native countries and the arduous journey to seek safety. Why in the world would the U.S. government institute a policy that would compound their distress by separating them from their families, claiming it’s for their own good? This is a monstrous policy that flies in the face of human rights, and should be rescinded immediately.”

You can read more about the atrocious history of the family separation policy, but the time to act is now and each of us can do something to make a difference. Here are 3 ways you can help stop family separation today…

Contact your representatives: Midterm elections aren’t until November, but make your voice heard now. Tell Congress that they need to take action this second to end family separation and reunite children with their parents. It’s easy to find out who represents you in Congress by state or zip code. If you’re struggling with what to say, the ACLU provides a script to use when calling.

Donate: Organizations are working hard to help families, so no amount of money donated is too small. Even just $5 or $10 will go a long way. The ACLU is a good place to start, as is Amnesty International, which works to protect human rights around the world and supports the Keep Families Together Act that would prohibit the Department of Homeland Security from separating families. There are also organizations that are offering legal services to those in immigration custody, including Al Otro Lado, The Florence Project, the American Immigration Council, Kids in Need of Defense and RAICES, which is the largest immigration nonprofit in Texas that helps underserved immigrants

Also, Slate has compiled a list of places to donate, and here’s a helpful Twitter thread from Alida Garcia, a lawyer turned organizer.

Protest: One of our most sacred rights is the right to assemble, and protests are happening all around the country. A number of organizations have planned a nationwide protest on June 30th, and the coalition Families Belong Together lets you search for protests near you.

Family SeparationSeparating families is nothing short of cruel and inhumane, and I hope we all take the time to do our part to help stop this dangerous policy. We have a chance to be on the right side of history. Let’s do it together, shall we?? xoxo

[Top photos by John Moore/Getty Images and Mario Tama/Getty Images; Bottom logo of Families Belong Together]

Remembering Martin Luther King Jr.

Martin Luther King Jr.It’s hard to believe today marks 50 years since Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated in Memphis in 1968.

FIFTY YEARS.

How can that be? I’m remembering King’s legacy today and every day, especially when I think of where we are now and everything we’ve been through. Where are we going? And, maybe more importantly, how do we get there?

One of King’s quotes really stands out today…

“He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it.”

Honestly, have truer words ever been spoken? It’s like I’ve always said, “If you’re not part of the solution, then you’re part of the problem.” And I’m not just talking on a grand scale here. It can be something as small as seeing people bully others and failing to speak up. Because if you see someone getting bullied and choose to sit by and do nothing, then you’re just as bad as the person doing the actual bullying. In fact, maybe you’re even worse than the bullies.

Your silence speaks volumes.

Here are some more inspiring quotes from King and a fantastic round-up of thoughts on his lasting impact on the world. Here’s to a more just, peaceful world. We all can do our part, friends. xoxo