My Response to Nicole Arbour’s Fat-Shaming Video

Dear Nicole Arbour:

I’m about to do something that some people might not agree with. There are those who have held themselves back and refrained from commenting on your recent YouTube firestorm. They don’t want to put you on blast and give you even more attention than you deserve. They believe doing so would give you exactly what you’ve wanted all along.

Well, I have ZERO qualms about putting you on blast. None whatsoever.

I have this habit of surfing YouTube late at night. It’s a good way to unwind at the end of the day. I randomly came across your recent video over the weekend (we both know which one I’m talking about here), and well, let’s just say I’m sorry I did. I couldn’t even watch it for two minutes before I quickly closed my browser window in sheer disgust. Anger doesn’t even begin to describe the sort of rage I was feeling.

ARE YOU SERIOUS???

Honestly, I don’t know if I should feel sorry for you, but something tells me that you knew exactly what you were doing by posting such a vile, blatantly horrific video. How pathetic is it to reduce people to numbers on a scale? And for what? The shock value? Oooh, like we haven’t seen that shtick before. Maybe you get some sort of sadistic joy out of shaming people you don’t even know. Maybe you thrive on that sort of negativity. Who knows?

Here are some powerful words for you: Your video was nothing short of mean, malicious and extremely offensive. You can try to hide it under the guise of satire, try to tie it all up in one pretty bow and pretend that you’re making some sort of revolutionary social statement, but you’re not. The only statement you’re making is showing the entire world just how completely and utterly insensitive you are. Your lack of tact in how you handled the situation and its aftermath speaks volumes about your level of ignorance too.

Shaming isn’t comedy. And it’s never funny. What about the girl in junior high who watches your videos and looks up to you? Just what is SHE supposed to think?

What can I say? I guess I don’t have that much self-restraint… UN-xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]

In The Pursuit of Happiness: Lauren Conrad Shuts Down Body-Shamers

Fat.

Skinny.

These are my two least favorite words in the English language. In fact, they’re my least favorite of all time, in any language.

Have you ever noticed how fat, in particular, is such a short word, but seemingly wields so much power over us? It’s just one syllable. That’s it. Just one. It takes less than one second to say, and yet we spend countless hours obsessing over it and looking for it and comparing ours to other people’s. It’s enough to drive anyone bonkers — and it does. All. The. Time. Skinny is a word that also weighs heavily on our minds. The irony, I know. For some reason, the embodiment of all things skinny has become something of a sought-after goal, as if it was some sort of status symbol. At the very least, it was something to be proud of.
BBB
But luckily for us all, fashionista extraordinaire Lauren Conrad is taking a big stand for Girl Power by making her little corner of the Interwebs a safer and more positive place. In a blog post last week, she outlined her plans…

“When we’ve talked about getting in shape in the past, words like “skinny,” “slim,” and “thin” have often come up. Starting this month, we’ll be banning any body shaming terms from the site, and shifting the focus to words like “fit” “toned,” and “healthy.” We try do to this for the most part anyway, but now we’re making it official! The word skinny will now be reserved for skinny jeans. My editorial team and I had a long talk about it, and we want to make sure that the focus is on being fit as opposed to a number on the scale. Every body is created differently—and healthy bodies come in all shapes and sizes.”

Amen, Lauren! She’s always been one of my favorites. I love how she’s been able to transcend her Laguna Beach and Hills past and become such an inspiring business woman. She seems like the type of person who knows exactly who she is, isn’t willing to settle or pretend and ultimately makes NO APOLOGIES for any of it. Now that’s some solid business model I could get behind.

Just like I said a few days ago, there’s a certain strength in being who you are. Lauren, obviously, owns it, too, and I’m glad she’s a role model for so many young women these days. I can’t help but feel like she’s inspiring the Lauren Conrads of tomorrow, don’t you, friends? Rock on, Lauren! xoxo

An Open Letter To Bruce Jenner

Dear Bruce:

I suppose there’s really no point in stating the obvious: I was so incredibly moved by your interview with Diane Sawyer last week. Well, honestly, I’d been looking forward to it for awhile. I was anxious to hear your words and your story directly from you. I knew they would be powerful words, and sure enough, I was right.

I’m, admittedly, of the generation who associates you more with the Kardashians than with the Olympics. You’ve always been one of my favorites on the show, but over the years, I’ve noticed you beginning to slink into the shadows. You seemed very wary of the cameras, like you preferred to be alone. And as you got less and less screen time, I began to miss you.

Well, after watching your interview, it’s safe to say that you’re back — at least, we’re starting to see glimpses of you. Your happy self. Your insightful self. Your confident self. You really came into your own in this interview. It was like we were seeing a new Bruce, but at the same time, it was the old Bruce. You were calm and collected and optimistic about the future.

You were, in a nutshell, your old self again. You were your true self. I wasn’t the only one who noticed. New York magazine described your metamorphosis perfectly…

This wasn’t the vague, scattered ghost dad we’d seen before. He was honest and forthright. He didn’t mince words or clench his teeth or put an overly optimistic spin on things or resist hard questions. The Bruce Jenner we met on Friday night was a testament to the power of honesty. He was transformed into someone bigger and brighter and more comfortable in his own skin than he’d ever been before. 

And just like that, he went from being a suspicious figure, a strange guy perhaps trying to upstage his wife’s carefully constructed empire, to a strong, eloquent individual ready to fully take on his new role as transgender hero. The transformation was so radical and so stunning, it was impossible not to be completely mesmerized. The way Jenner held himself, cried, laughed at himself, and fully inhabited himself onscreen was completely at odds with the person we’d known before. There’s no other way to express it: It was like watching a butterfly break out of its cocoon.

What I love about this is that you did it on your own terms, and that’s such a beautiful thing. You’ve been hounded for longer than you’d care to remember, but you didn’t cave to any sort of pressure. You knew when the time would be right and I’m so glad you found it in Diane Sawyer.

I’m sorry that you have to deal with those people who assume that you’re “doing this for publicity.” Frankly, those people disgust me. I’d like to challenge them to spend one day forced to be someone they’re not. But, don’t pay them any attention because you’re the true winner here. Never, ever forget that. It was inspiring to watch you talk and look fully at ease with who you are. I got the sense that you don’t feel the need to hide in those shadows anymore; you’re not afraid of being who you are. You’re starting this new journey in your life and it was wonderful to see a glimpse of how you’re approaching it all. I can only imagine how stressful and frustrating it must be at times, but you’re handling it with a calm and quiet grace that is quite refreshing!

Thank you for telling your story because, as I’m sure you know, it’s not just your story. You’re telling the story of thousands and giving them a much-needed voice — a voice that many of them don’t have or are afraid to use. Thank you for being you and thank you for your honesty. You’ll always be a hero in my book. Forever and always. xoxo

In The Pursuit of Happiness: Gina Rodriguez on body image

Speaking of self-confidence, actress Gina Rodriguez knows a thing or two about the struggle.

The Jane the Virgin star recently told PEOPLE that she’s regularly told that she’s not skinny enough or tall enough or even ethnic enough.

“As a woman in this industry, we are constantly being pressured to look a certain way and to get our hair and nails and makeup done and live up to these images that aren’t conducive to a healthy mind. But I have to remember that this is a game. And if the game says I should be looking like this, then I just don’t play that role. And that’s okay.”

It’s easy to fall for those lies, but thanks to her parents, Gina’s healthy and positive outlook is downright infectious.

“My mom is so beautiful and never wears any makeup. She would say, ‘You want a man to love you for who you are, not what you look like or what you’re covered up by.’ My parents really encouraged us to have confidence in who we are and accept who we are because it is not going to change and we are beautiful.”

This is definitely part of the reason that Jane the Virgin is one of my favorite shows this season. Gina is such a real, down-to-earth actress and that really comes through in the character of Jane, despite the out-of-this-world premise of the show. It’s so encouraging when you see celebrities being such good role models for today’s young people (does that make me sound incredibly old??), especially when there are some famous folks who tend to shy away from that role.

Go, Gina! Thanks for being such a body-positive voice for us all!!! xoxo

Body-positive ads

Marie Claire Australia asked six ad agencies to come up with the perfect print ads all in the name of self-acceptance. They wanted to teach women to love their bodies and see how creative the advertisers could get without any sort of restrictions. The results are pretty darn amazing…

Bravo! Aren’t these ads amazing? They really make you think about all the little subconscious things we do every day to sabotage our positive body image. No more! What do you say, friends? What will YOU do today to show yourself some love? xoxo

[Via The Frisky]