In The Pursuit of Happiness: Jennifer Aniston on Society’s Expectations For Women

She’ll be there for us — see what I did there? Jennifer Aniston stood up to body bullies everywhere last week when she took to the Internet to dispel those pesky pregnancy rumors that she just can’t seem to dodge these days.

Everyone’s favorite friend (ha, I did it again!) penned a refreshingly real and honest essay for The Huffington Post in which she took aim at the unrealistic expectations our society places on women…

If I am some kind of symbol to some people out there, then clearly I am an example of the lens through which we, as a society, view our mothers, daughters, sisters, wives, female friends and colleagues. The objectification and scrutiny we put women through is absurd and disturbing. The way I am portrayed by the media is simply a reflection of how we see and portray women in general, measured against some warped standard of beauty.

But what I *really* loved? I mean, loved to the point that I wanted to pump my fist in the air and scream, “YES! Thank you, Jennifer! That’s one victory for women!” — however, I’m in the quiet library right now, so I figured that wasn’t the very best idea…

Here’s where I come out on this topic: we are complete with or without a mate, with or without a child. We get to decide for ourselves what is beautiful when it comes to our bodies. That decision is ours and ours alone. Let’s make that decision for ourselves and for the young women in this world who look to us as examples. Let’s make that decision consciously, outside of the tabloid noise. We don’t need to be married or mothers to be complete. We get to determine our own “happily ever after” for ourselves.

Hmmm, writing our own version of happily ever after. In our culture, that’s sort of a radical, out-there notion, isn’t it? We’re conditioned to want and strive for certain things in life — boyfriend, wedding, house, kids. In that order. If we deviate from that script, even ever so slightly, we’re criticized or labeled or bullied. And even though it shouldn’t, all this finger wagging can mess with our confidence and sense of self. We start to question if we’re on the “right” path and what is wrong with us if we’re not.

I know I’ve never been immune to all this bullying, and I’m forever having this internal conversation with myself where I’m trying to talk myself out of getting down on myself. Because it’s all too easy to let that outside noise become the voice you start to hear in your head — and we all know that outside noise is the LAST thing you need to be listening to. It lies and tries to get you all sorts of worked up. At the very least, I’ve found, it just makes you extremely tired and exhausted.

So, I say we change the conversation. I say we stop putting ourselves and others down just because of those crazy “expectations” we grew up with. I say we start living life on our terms, bullies be damned. And at the end of the day, I say we start celebrating each other because we’re pretty darn awesome just as we are. Who’s with me and Jennifer?? #BeBraveBeYou xoxo

P.S. More wise words on feminism, finding balance, body image, mental illness and being yourself! 🙂

In The Pursuit of Happiness: Adele on Being Yourself

Hello!! Adele is certainly having a moment, isn’t she? After a four-year hiatus, the tell-it-like-it-is singer is back and better than ever — she’s even toppled *NSYNC’s first-week album sales record! And if that wasn’t enough, she recently shelled out a heavy dose of inspiration in an interview with SiriusXM…

“I do have body image problems, for sure, but I don’t let them rule my life at all,” she says. “And there’s bigger issues going on in the world than how I might feel about myself. There’s only one of you, so why would you want to look like everyone else?” she said. “Why would you want to have the same hairstyle as everyone else and have the same opinions as everybody else?”

We see celebrities like Adele and think they have these glossy, airbrushed, perfect lives. They seem to have the right clothes, the right hair and the right makeup. So when they come out and “get real” about life, you can tell that it comes from a genuine place. This is why we can all relate to Adele. She’s our Spirit Animal and basically says everything we’re all thinking, which is so refreshing, if you ask me. In a world of fakeness, we definitely need something real to counteract all that negativity.

Are you an Adele fan, friends? What’s your favorite song? You all know I’m in love with Someone Like You — I’ve been known to walk roll around the house singing it all day long. Thanks for all the Girl Crush inspiration, Adele! xoxo

P.S. A new Tuesday Tunes is coming up soon! 🙂

[Via Marie Claire]

My Response to Nicole Arbour’s Fat-Shaming Video

Dear Nicole Arbour:

I’m about to do something that some people might not agree with. There are those who have held themselves back and refrained from commenting on your recent YouTube firestorm. They don’t want to put you on blast and give you even more attention than you deserve. They believe doing so would give you exactly what you’ve wanted all along.

Well, I have ZERO qualms about putting you on blast. None whatsoever.

I have this habit of surfing YouTube late at night. It’s a good way to unwind at the end of the day. I randomly came across your recent video over the weekend (we both know which one I’m talking about here), and well, let’s just say I’m sorry I did. I couldn’t even watch it for two minutes before I quickly closed my browser window in sheer disgust. Anger doesn’t even begin to describe the sort of rage I was feeling.

ARE YOU SERIOUS???

Honestly, I don’t know if I should feel sorry for you, but something tells me that you knew exactly what you were doing by posting such a vile, blatantly horrific video. How pathetic is it to reduce people to numbers on a scale? And for what? The shock value? Oooh, like we haven’t seen that shtick before. Maybe you get some sort of sadistic joy out of shaming people you don’t even know. Maybe you thrive on that sort of negativity. Who knows?

Here are some powerful words for you: Your video was nothing short of mean, malicious and extremely offensive. You can try to hide it under the guise of satire, try to tie it all up in one pretty bow and pretend that you’re making some sort of revolutionary social statement, but you’re not. The only statement you’re making is showing the entire world just how completely and utterly insensitive you are. Your lack of tact in how you handled the situation and its aftermath speaks volumes about your level of ignorance too.

Shaming isn’t comedy. And it’s never funny. What about the girl in junior high who watches your videos and looks up to you? Just what is SHE supposed to think?

What can I say? I guess I don’t have that much self-restraint… UN-xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]

In The Pursuit of Happiness: Lauren Conrad Shuts Down Body-Shamers

Fat.

Skinny.

These are my two least favorite words in the English language. In fact, they’re my least favorite of all time, in any language.

Have you ever noticed how fat, in particular, is such a short word, but seemingly wields so much power over us? It’s just one syllable. That’s it. Just one. It takes less than one second to say, and yet we spend countless hours obsessing over it and looking for it and comparing ours to other people’s. It’s enough to drive anyone bonkers — and it does. All. The. Time. Skinny is a word that also weighs heavily on our minds. The irony, I know. For some reason, the embodiment of all things skinny has become something of a sought-after goal, as if it was some sort of status symbol. At the very least, it was something to be proud of.
BBB
But luckily for us all, fashionista extraordinaire Lauren Conrad is taking a big stand for Girl Power by making her little corner of the Interwebs a safer and more positive place. In a blog post last week, she outlined her plans…

“When we’ve talked about getting in shape in the past, words like “skinny,” “slim,” and “thin” have often come up. Starting this month, we’ll be banning any body shaming terms from the site, and shifting the focus to words like “fit” “toned,” and “healthy.” We try do to this for the most part anyway, but now we’re making it official! The word skinny will now be reserved for skinny jeans. My editorial team and I had a long talk about it, and we want to make sure that the focus is on being fit as opposed to a number on the scale. Every body is created differently—and healthy bodies come in all shapes and sizes.”

Amen, Lauren! She’s always been one of my favorites. I love how she’s been able to transcend her Laguna Beach and Hills past and become such an inspiring business woman. She seems like the type of person who knows exactly who she is, isn’t willing to settle or pretend and ultimately makes NO APOLOGIES for any of it. Now that’s some solid business model I could get behind.

Just like I said a few days ago, there’s a certain strength in being who you are. Lauren, obviously, owns it, too, and I’m glad she’s a role model for so many young women these days. I can’t help but feel like she’s inspiring the Lauren Conrads of tomorrow, don’t you, friends? Rock on, Lauren! xoxo

An Open Letter To Bruce Jenner

Dear Bruce:

I suppose there’s really no point in stating the obvious: I was so incredibly moved by your interview with Diane Sawyer last week. Well, honestly, I’d been looking forward to it for awhile. I was anxious to hear your words and your story directly from you. I knew they would be powerful words, and sure enough, I was right.

I’m, admittedly, of the generation who associates you more with the Kardashians than with the Olympics. You’ve always been one of my favorites on the show, but over the years, I’ve noticed you beginning to slink into the shadows. You seemed very wary of the cameras, like you preferred to be alone. And as you got less and less screen time, I began to miss you.

Well, after watching your interview, it’s safe to say that you’re back — at least, we’re starting to see glimpses of you. Your happy self. Your insightful self. Your confident self. You really came into your own in this interview. It was like we were seeing a new Bruce, but at the same time, it was the old Bruce. You were calm and collected and optimistic about the future.

You were, in a nutshell, your old self again. You were your true self. I wasn’t the only one who noticed. New York magazine described your metamorphosis perfectly…

This wasn’t the vague, scattered ghost dad we’d seen before. He was honest and forthright. He didn’t mince words or clench his teeth or put an overly optimistic spin on things or resist hard questions. The Bruce Jenner we met on Friday night was a testament to the power of honesty. He was transformed into someone bigger and brighter and more comfortable in his own skin than he’d ever been before. 

And just like that, he went from being a suspicious figure, a strange guy perhaps trying to upstage his wife’s carefully constructed empire, to a strong, eloquent individual ready to fully take on his new role as transgender hero. The transformation was so radical and so stunning, it was impossible not to be completely mesmerized. The way Jenner held himself, cried, laughed at himself, and fully inhabited himself onscreen was completely at odds with the person we’d known before. There’s no other way to express it: It was like watching a butterfly break out of its cocoon.

What I love about this is that you did it on your own terms, and that’s such a beautiful thing. You’ve been hounded for longer than you’d care to remember, but you didn’t cave to any sort of pressure. You knew when the time would be right and I’m so glad you found it in Diane Sawyer.

I’m sorry that you have to deal with those people who assume that you’re “doing this for publicity.” Frankly, those people disgust me. I’d like to challenge them to spend one day forced to be someone they’re not. But, don’t pay them any attention because you’re the true winner here. Never, ever forget that. It was inspiring to watch you talk and look fully at ease with who you are. I got the sense that you don’t feel the need to hide in those shadows anymore; you’re not afraid of being who you are. You’re starting this new journey in your life and it was wonderful to see a glimpse of how you’re approaching it all. I can only imagine how stressful and frustrating it must be at times, but you’re handling it with a calm and quiet grace that is quite refreshing!

Thank you for telling your story because, as I’m sure you know, it’s not just your story. You’re telling the story of thousands and giving them a much-needed voice — a voice that many of them don’t have or are afraid to use. Thank you for being you and thank you for your honesty. You’ll always be a hero in my book. Forever and always. xoxo