So About What I Said Turns 11 Today. I Did a Blog Anniversary Shoot.

Blog Anniversary Shoot Blog Anniversary ShootYes, I know that I’m going to sound like a broken record yet again, but come on…ELEVEN YEARS?? How has it been that long?? How has So About What I Said existed on the internet for more than a decade?? I’m stunned, shocked and befuddled. And yet, more than anything, I want to celebrate this milestone!! That’s where this blog anniversary shoot comes in, friends…

My blog turns 11 today so I give you this…BLOG ANNIVERSARY SHOOT

People have photo shoots for weddings, engagements, births. Some even have them for their pets. I may not be married or have kids, but that doesn’t make my own milestone any less important, you know? Women are discouraged from tooting our own horn and being proud of our accomplishments, but I intend to CELEBRATE. I’ve worked hard for these 11 years and I’ve earned this pride and joy.

I love what Twitter user Danica said in this thread, which really gets to the core of how society views and treats women and what they think women’s sole role and purpose is…

I wish people were as excited and supportive about women’s career milestones, personal development, and travel journeys as they were about pregnancies and engagements.

Marraige [sic Marriage] and pregnancy are beautiful life events that should absolutely be celebrated, but I promise you, a woman’s sole purpose is not to be someone’s life partner and/or mother.

Stop reducing women to their marital or parental status. It’s belittling & insulting.

And when you think about it, my blog and I have had a relationship. A very meaningful one, I might add. My blog was there for me as I continued to grieve my father. My blog was their for me when I was severely depressed and could hardly write anything, let alone blog consistently. And my blog was there for me during the fun times — through all my pop culture rants and fashion obsessions and love–struck confusions!

Blog Anniversary ShootThis blog? It listened and never judged. It just let me be, well, me. And yes, I know I’m giving my blog human characteristics. I know it’s not real in the living sense. But so much of my life — my real, messy, complicated life — is in those 6,300+ posts, and that means a great deal to me.

As I wrote earlier this year in my essay for The Writer about being a blogger…

I wasn’t just carving out a career, was I? I mean, I may have started out with that goal in mind, but with each passing year, I could see my blog becoming about so much more than just my profession. It was a chronicle of the person I was and, in turn, the person I was becoming. Like peeling back each layer of an onion, I revealed a little more of myself each time I hit “publish.” It was sort of like getting to know myself all over again, seeing my life and my story unfold with each new post.

Indeed, it’s been quite the journey — or, as I’ve been saying lately “that was a time!” Thank you SO much for sticking with me these last 11 years, friends!! Some of you have been around since the beginning and that will never not blow my mind.

I’m so grateful to know you all and excited for what’s to come in year 12. This ride has been aces and I don’t intend to get off any time soon! Will you come with me?? xoxo

P.S. Big thanks to my wonderful Ms. Bear for taking the photos! Like a true businesswoman, she wanted a photo credit. I’ve taught her well.

Dear Janelle: On Your 34th Birthday!

Dear JanelleDear Janelle:

WOW. I can’t believe today is your 34th birthday!! It seems like it was just yesterday when we were playing at the playground or zooming our Matchbox cars down that huge ramp in the living room! Those were the best times, weren’t they?

Maybe I should have started this post off with a warning that I’m about to get super emotional and sentimental?

Well, I am going to get super emotional because your special day is most definitely something to celebrate!!! YOU are most definitely something to celebrate! You are the most loving, kind, gentle, compassionate, amazing person I know!!! You are fierce and brave and so, so smart. You are so funny and so fun to be around — there’s nothing better than just staying home and being with you all day. You are super and you are, of course, ACES.

Do you remember when you were voted Most Kindhearted in third grade? That award was the most accurate award in the history of awards! You are the most kindhearted person in the world. To everyone. You put people at ease with your calming presence and that ability is such a gift to people!

But what I really want for you on your birthday? I want you to be kindhearted to yourself. You’re often so hard on yourself and I hope you show yourself the gentle kindness and compassion that you readily show others — at least for one day, OK? You, of all people, deserve it because you make this world a better, happier, calmer place!!

All this to say that…YOU’RE AWESOME. Thank you for being you and for bringing so much joy to our world. Today is one of the BEST days of the year!! Happy birthday to my sister and best friend!!! You deserve all the love on your special day and every day!! Dear, Janelle, I loooooove you!! xoxo

P.S. More Janelle love: Her 24th, 25th, 26th, 27th, 28th, 29th, 30th, 32nd and 33rd birthdays.

Umm, It’s My 38th Birthday!

38th BirthdayUmm, wow!! My 38th birthday, friends!!! Wow is such a simple word, but, really, that’s the only way I can describe it right now!!

Do you ever try to put your age in context? It can be a VERY eye-opening exercise, believe me!! For example, it just hit me recently that I’m now older than the characters on Thirtysomething. Remember that show? It followed a group of — you guessed it! — thirtysomethings as they navigated work, relationships and raising children in the late ’80s and early ’90s. Basically, they were the OGs when it came to work-life balance — that much-analyzed, abstract, does-it-even-exist? concept that people will probably still be struggling with in a thousand years.

But, anyway, back to my age and my birthday. How on Earth did that ever happen? How have I surpassed the age of those fictional characters? I mean, I used to watch that show with my mom, who actually was a thirtysomething at the time, and I remember thinking, “Whoa! Those people are such ‘adults’ and they’ve got their lives all figured out!”

38th BirthdayI also often wondered what my life would look like during that exciting decade. Would I have everything figured out too? Would I face the same problems and struggles as Hope and company? My young mind seemed to think that everyone’s life followed the same trajectory and that we all experience the same things on the same timetable. Looking back, that now seems incredibly naive, doesn’t it? But it’s still something I find myself struggling with sometimes. As much as I hate to admit it, I still get caught up in the comparison game, where I look at my thirtysomething peers and wonder why I’m “not like them“; never mind the fact that I can’t even define what “not like” even means. So maybe it’s more like a feeling? A feeling that I’m somehow behind everyone else on this life journey and I’m just forever trying to catch up, you know?

OK, that’s about as philosophical as I want to get on my 38th birthday! I took that selfie of myself in Central Park while we were in NYC last week and I noticed that it’s the first time I’ve worn a polo shirt in a loooooong time!! It felt great to wear one of my trademark garments again…remember Polo Shirt Season??

38th BirthdaySpeaking of NYC, I’ll be sharing tons of photos from our trip this week! Each day of vacation gets its own post because this was the first time I’d been on vacation in nearly a decade and the ENTIRE wonderful experience deserves to be documented to the fullest! Here’s to living life on your terms, even if it doesn’t follow the same path as everyone else!! xoxo

P.S. My last TEN birthdays: 28th, 29th, 30th, 31st, 32nd, 33rd, 34th, 35th, 36th and 37th!!

Happy Birthday, Ms. Bear: Life Lessons From Fake Plants

Happy BirthdayIt’s my absolute favorite person’s birthday today!! Extra special, double sweet HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Ms. Bear!! She’s battling a nasty cold today, but we all know a little virus doesn’t stand a chance against her big spirit!!!

And speaking of her indomitable spirit, it wouldn’t quite be her happy birthday without sharing one of the many life lessons she’s taught me! I’ve been saving these photos for a couple years now, and today is the perfect day to share the story that goes along with them. It’s, obviously, a classic Ms. Bear story, although she is so humble that she’d never admit that!

Anyway, these photos were taken several years ago. We usually keep that fake plant on our staircase that leads to the basement. It’s actually the only fake plant we’ve ever owned; I often wonder why my mom has such an attachment to this particular piece of plastic, but then I remember that we probably got it right after we moved into this house, which was shortly after my father died. A symbol of her grief, perhaps? How the leaves billow and bow, but never fall all the way to the ground? That describes her during the worst of the grief. Hurting, but not broken. Struggling, but still, somehow, surviving.

But, back to these photos. I’ve even forgotten why the plant was in the kitchen — probably because we just had the carpet cleaned. So there’s my mom, fiddling with the leaves. Again. She has a tendency to work her magic and rearrange the leaves when the plant starts to look sad — AKA, a bit on the droopy side.

Happy Birthday“What are you doing?” I asked. “You know we can just buy another plant, right?”

She continued her fiddling and arranging. At this point, her entire body was practically obscured by those green leaves!

“Oh, no! That’s not necessary! This one just needs a little fixing.”

Well, a little fixing she did! A few minutes later, the plant was back to its former glory, sitting in its usual spot on the stairs.

And while it took a little bit for the message to sink in, I finally realized something: That’s exactly what Ms. Bear does. Or, more precisely, what she doesn’t do. She doesn’t give up on people. Ever. Or, in this case, our fake plant. When things look desperate or even impossible, she doesn’t just throw her hands up in the air and say, “Oh, well. That’s that!” She’s never been that type of person. Who is she, then? She’s a helper, a listener, a comforter, a friend, a cheerleader, an adviser, a confidante.

I love her more than anything and am so thankful for her!!! I hope that I can be all those things for her. Whoever is that person to you, make sure you give them a big hug today and tell them just how much you appreciate them! I’m sure they’ll appreciate it! Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time to get the birthday girl to SIT DOWN and watch Gibbs — that’s NCIS for those not hip to the show’s characters. Happy birthday, sweet Bear… xoxo

Today, I Celebrate 10 Years of Blogging

BloggingToday is So About What I Said’s 10th birthday!!! Can’t believe I’ve been blogging for an entire decade, friends!! It’s all gone by in a fast flash — and yet, thinking back to when I was just 27 seems like such a long time ago (maybe even a different lifetime ago)…

So, what does 10 years of blogging actually look like? How can I even begin to quantify something that, at one point, I couldn’t even wrap my head around? When I started blogging in 2008, this medium was still relatively young. People were just starting to hop on this newfangled thing called Twitter and they wouldn’t be posting selfies and photos of their breakfast on Instagram for another two years! And there was certainly no such thing as “influencers” back then! Yes, it was a different world on the Internet!

In a quick blog snapshot, things now look like this…

*6,123 published posts

*606 post drafts (those are all the ideas that I’ve saved over the years every time post inspiration struck!)

Just looking at those numbers is a good start, don’t you think? It takes something incredibly abstract like blogging and puts it into simple data — heck, at the very least, it’s a record of what I’ve been doing for the last 10 years. From the serious series like Letters To My Future Husband and My Father’s Suicide to the fun fare like Etsy Love and fashion commentary, this blog has been a chronology of my life. It’s grown and changed as I’ve grown and changed, and it’s helped me through some of my darkest hours. My blog has led me to my own domain on WordPress, which, as I’m constantly telling my mom, was THE BEST blog move I ever made!

Yet, as things changed (and I got older!), my goals for this blog have remained the same: Write and create a community that’s all about being honest, real, smart and funny. I like to think I’ve succeeded — or at least had fun stories to share about my failings and foibles!

But the abstract, hard data isn’t the whole picture. I mean, it’s not the whole story because so much of my blogging journey is hard to quantify and put into words. Trust me, I’ve been thinking about this anniversary post for months and I kept telling myself, “What if my 10th anniversary is anticlimactic? What if there’s all this build-up and then…it’s just over?” At its heart, this journey has been one of self-discovery, meeting amazing people (like YOU!) and plenty of laughs along the way.

BloggingBy now, I’m sure you’re probably wondering, who is that redhead in that illustration up there? That’s none other than Yours Truly!! Earlier this year, reader Laura asked if she could contribute her artistic magic to the blog! She’s an amazing illustrator and I screamed with joy when she sent me the finished product — just like I did when Illustrator Melissa sent me this! You know you can officially die happy when see yourself in cartoon form!

I’d also be remiss if I didn’t give a great big thank you to my mom and Janelle! They’ve both encouraged me and kept me going, even when I’d get down on myself. Their support and love means the world to me, and I hope they know just how special and wonderful they are.

Did I think my blog would still be around in 2018…? Heck no! Would I be who I am today if I never started blogging? I sincerely don’t think so. This has been one wild and life-affirming ride, and I look forward to the next 10 years! Please say you’ll join me. We make a great team, don’t you think?!? I love you, friends! Always and forever… xoxo

[Photo via Unsplash]