Disability Archives - So About What I Said

Monday, November 18, 2019

Two Months Later: Why Did My Viral Tweet Resonate So Much?

Life is so strange and magical and unpredictable, isn’t it? I’ve been thinking a lot about my viral tweet lately and can’t help but wonder: What was it about that one tweet that resonated so much? Like, I just randomly posted that tweet on a Saturday night and I never expected any of this to happen AT ALL.

I wrote about the beauty aspect of it in this essay for HuffPost Personal, but I think there’s more to it than just that. Y’all know I’ve tweeted A LOT (42K+), so why that tweet? I’m so happy people have embraced and related to the tweet, but it really made me realize how wild and unexpected life can be!

I used to hate the unexpected, but you know what? If it wasn’t for this unexpected tweet, I wouldn’t have met so many AMAZING people over the last two months!! So many people who I now consider friends and I am so grateful for that!! Thank you for the emails, tweets and outpouring of love!! Thank you for being you!! And thank you for your beautiful selfies!! What an incredible journey this had been!!

And speaking of photos, I had a HUGE revelation recently: I rarely post photos that show my wheelchair and that made me a little bit sad, especially since my wheelchair is such a part of who I am.

So that’s why I’ve chosen this photo as my new profile pic on social media. I mean, the yellow flowers may have swayed me too, but I love how my entire wheelchair is on full display…

As a woman with a disability, I’ve struggled for a long time with self-confidence, body image and just being OK with myself. It hasn’t been an easy journey, but it’s something I’ve tried to work on. We all have things we’re self-conscious about and mine just happens to be a very visible disability. I’m not sure the journey will ever be complete for me — maybe something like self-acceptance and self-love doesn’t have a finish line? Maybe it’s a lifelong process.

Can you relate, friends? What have you struggled with when it comes to self-esteem, self-confidence and self-love? Let’s support each other! And as always, thank you for all the support for my viral tweet… xoxo

Wednesday, November 13, 2019

World Kindness Day and the Power of Mr. Rogers

It’s no coincidence that World Kindness Day and Cardigan Day are on the same day! There’s no one who personified love and kindness like Mr. Rogers and I saw that kindness first-hand when I was just four years old. I wrote him a letter (I’m pretty sure my mom helped!) about my disability and he took the time to write back. I’ve saved that letter for three decades and thought today was the perfect time to share it. It’s a bit tattered from the ravages of time, but his message is still fresh and vital…

Talk about life coming full circle (I feel like I do that a lot lately): Last year, I wrote about the importance of Mr. Rogers for CNN Opinion!! It was a complete joy to honor his legacy in words and share all the lessons he’s taught the world. I wrote these words…

I grew up with the wonders of public television. Shows like Sesame Street and Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood not only entertained me, but were also the building blocks of my education and the cornerstone of my childhood, teaching me all about numbers and spelling and even life skills like manners and how to make friends. And because of my disability, I couldn’t get around as easily as the other kids my age, so at times, those shows were literally my window to the world. I may not have been able to climb on the playground equipment, but I sang along to Mister Rogers’ opening song and hung out with Lady Elaine Fairchilde.

In 2019, kindness doesn’t always come easily. I know that I’ve been there far too many times to count myself, so don’t think that you’re the only one who has ever felt like this. The world feels like a mess and we all get angry and frustrated, but thank goodness for the wise words from everyone’s favorite neighbor!

Let love and kindness guide you today and every day — whether it’s World Kindness Day or not. I love you, friends… xoxo

Tuesday, November 12, 2019

My Essay on Local Love: “My Clap-Back at Online Bullies Inspired a Global Self-Love Movement”

“My clap-back at online bullies inspired a global self-love movement…”

Ahh, I never thought that I’d see words like ‘clap-back‘ and ‘self-love movement’ used to describe me, but that’s exactly where I found myself last week with my newest byline!

In fact, my first piece for Canada’s Local Love was actually inspired by YOU — all my new friends on social media!!! As dark and disheartening as it was to encounter those internet trolls, the response to my viral tweet showed me that there’s still light shining in this world. Thank you for being my light, friends!!! And thank you to Valerie Howes for being such a caring editor!!

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I talk about the need to make social media — and the internet in general — a less toxic place…

I’d go as far as to say that the outpouring of support was life-changing for me. My confidence has grown, especially with regards to my disability, because however much I’ve put myself out there as a writer over the years, I’ve always struggled internally with feeling and looking different. Since my Twitter following multiplied tenfold, to 72,000 followers, I’ve felt the warmth and acceptance of my newly expanded community every single day.

There will always be dark corners of the internet, but that doesn’t mean we can’t all play our part in making it a brighter and safer space. That could mean something as simple as giving someone a positive shout-out on Twitter, sharing a good-news story or sparking a respectful conversation around an issue that matters to you.

You can read the full piece here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so I see your tweet and we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

Monday, November 4, 2019

My Essay on Health: “I Was Told I Was ‘Too Ugly’ to Post Photos of Myself…”

Shortly after my tweet went viral last month, an editor from Health magazine reached out and asked if I’d be interested in writing about my disability. I’m so glad we connected and the result is this essay about what it’s like to grow up with a disability. Hope you enjoy it, friends!

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I talk about how finally, after so many years of self-doubt, I’m starting to own who I am. And that is such a powerful thing, friends…

I realized that I do deserve to be seen, and that there’s power in owning who you are. I couldn’t stay silent this time, so I responded with my trilogy of selfies—basically doing the exact opposite of what they asked me to. It was a defiant move, for sure, but I also saw it as a celebration. A celebration of who I am. A celebration of my disability.
Posting those photos—and going up against my cyberbullies—turned out to be more empowering than I could’ve imagined. All the praise helped me see that people were listening and understanding what I was trying to say. It was validation after doubting myself and it made me realize that maybe the world was starting to see disabilities in a more accurate way.
That’s all I really hope for: that young people with disabilities will see my tweet and feel that same sense of pride in themselves and celebrate everything they are. It took me years to find that sense of pride in myself, but I’m so grateful that I’ve finally found it.

Plus…ahhh, another cool first with this piece!!! I got to do my first Instagram video EVER with Health!!! I don’t think the IG story is up any longer, but it was so cool to get to talk all about my disability. You can see their Instagram post about me, though.

Wednesday, October 30, 2019

My Essay on The Riveter: “A Love Letter to My Electric Wheelchair”

October is National Disability Employment Awareness Month, so I was so excited when asked if I’d like to write something about my disability for The Riveter — the site all about women and work! I had the perfect idea in mind: How my electric wheelchair has helped me to live a full, productive life!

This year marks the 30th anniversary of my very first electric wheelchair and I wanted to dispel the misconception that wheelchairs are a bad thing. I wouldn’t be who I am — or been able to do what I’ve done — without mine. Just think for a moment about all the things your legs have helped you do. Well, my electric wheelchair has served as my legs practically my whole life. And they’ve helped me do so much!

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I talk about how the world literally opened up to me after I got my first electric wheelchair in the first grade…

For the first time, it felt like the world was within my reach, no longer inaccessible. While my parents worried that a wheelchair might hold me back, it actually propelled me forward — both literally and figuratively. I could now do things on my terms and not have to wait for people to help me. And even though I eventually wore out that first wheelchair (and several more after that), there’s always been one constant over the years: Those wheelchairs gave me freedom and independence. They were the wheelchairs that I walked across the stage in (well, more like rolled) during my high school graduation. They were the wheelchairs that I zoomed down the halls during my first week of college — scared just like my freshmen classmates as we embarked on this next phase of our lives. They were the wheelchairs that helped me do my job on the college newspaper, first as a reporter and then as editor-in-chief.

Our basement flooded last month during a huge rainstorm. Amidst the stress of going through dozens of damp boxes in the aftermath, it was also the perfect opportunity to peek into my family’s past – a treasure trove of memories in the form of books, photos and elementary school art projects.

The highlight, at least for me, came in the form of my first two electric wheelchairs. They’d been sitting in that basement since we moved into our house in 2003, old, broken and merely collecting dust at this point. I’ve gone through several electric wheelchairs in the years since, and still, seeing those two was powerful. It felt like I had stumbled upon a time capsule, a window to my past and my former self, and all the while, I kept thinking: Would I be the person I am today without these wheelchairs?

I’m pretty sure the answer would be “no,” because those wheelchairs are so much more than pieces of metal and wire. They were literally my lifeline.