Disability Archives - So About What I Said

Thursday, August 15, 2019

My Essay on The Week: “It’s Time to Redesign the Accessibility Logo”

I’m so glad that I got to write about this!! It’s my second op-ed for The Week. I’ve long been an advocate of redesigning the accessibility logo to better reflect WHO we are as people with disabilities and the reality of our lives!! When it comes to things like inclusion and disability representation, it’s so important that they’re accurate.

This is something that I’ve wanted to write about for awhile, so when one of my former editors (hi, Elizabeth Yuko, if you’re reading!! 👋🏻) sent me this story tip, it was just the timely news hook I needed.

So what exactly was that news hook, you ask? The state of Ohio is trying to redesign the accessibility logo to better reflect people with with a disability, to make it more dynamic and less stagnant, where the person is just sitting in their wheelchair waiting for someone to come and push them.

Unfortunately, the plans are being put on hold, and that’s unfortunate. A revamped, more modern logo would go a long way to changing public perception about what it’s like to live with a disability in 2019 — it would definitely squash some of those outdated stereotypes of someone who is helpless and dependent on others.

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I remind society, YET AGAIN, of all the things disabled people are and what they’re not. You’d think people would catch on by now, but…

We are a vibrant, independent people who aren’t sitting around, dependent on others. I often say that living with a disability is a verb in every sense of the word; that’s something the able-bodied community tends to forget sometimes. People with disabilities are working, socializing, shopping, vacationing, and just generally going about their lives. The last thing we’re doing is waiting for someone else to help us get somewhere.
Maybe that’s why I feel so strongly about the power of the accessibility logo’s proposed redesign. A logo that shows someone in a wheelchair propelling themselves forward could instill a better image of people with disabilities in the national mind. Every day, I and millions of others in the disability community fight stigmas and stereotypes. Showing us as we really are, even if it’s only in an illustration, would be a powerful way to help us be seen and better understood.

You can read the full piece here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

[Photo via Unsplash]

Thursday, July 18, 2019

My Date With the DMV: Before and After

I called this post “My Date With the DMV: Before and After” for a very specific reason…

Let’s start at the beginning of the day! There was such promise in that early-morning summer sunshine, and it practically radiated optimism directly from the blue sky. Everything seemed like it was coming together: I was up early (a rarity for me!) and all ready to leave the house by 10:30. Heck, it was a veritable #LetsDoThis hashtag come to life! Oh, yes, I was a woman on a mission!

My destination? The local DMV office! I had to get my state ID renewed because it, umm, expired in 2016. I know, I know — let the record show that I take FULL responsibility for my laziness here.

Now, maybe I was just being naive (story of my life sometimes!), but I thought this whole thing would be a piece of cake. You know, a one-and-done, in-and-out sort of situation. I mean, just look at my happy face in that “before” picture — I’m practically glowing with enthusiasm, don’t you think? I figured that I’d be out of there in 30 minutes at the most and have the rest of my day to enjoy…

Well, I’ve never been more wrong in my ENTIRE LIFE. There is nothing fast, speedy or quick about the DMV; they’re even slower than I am, and that’s saying something!

The place was packed — you’d think Shawn Mendes was in town for a concert. So I took a number — don’t remember what number it was exactly because, let’s be honest, I blocked out most of the experience! But I do remember that there were probably 40 or 50 people ahead of me!!

I waited. And waited. And waited.

Then, I was called up, which I thought was strange because my number hadn’t been called yet (I’d learn later that the elderly and disabled don’t have to wait), and for a brief moment, I felt another flicker of hope.

This was going to be a breeze!!

No, past Melissa, it’s not going to be a breeze. Not by a long shot!

Turns out, if your ID is expired for more than one year, then you need your birth certificate! Oops! I called Ms. Bear in a panic, and she brought it over — bless her heart, she even skipped Zumba!! Thanks, Mom!!

Think my adventure is over? Think again.

We had my birth certificate, but it was a copy of the certified copy — not acceptable!!

We left the DMV that day feeling very defeated!! We went home and, thankfully, found the golden ticket that is my actual birth certificate! But we were so exhausted from the day that we waited a day to go back. We thought it best to spread out the DMV fun.

All’s well that ends well, though, because a brand-spanking new, shiny ID is on its way to my house as I type this!

Whew!! That whole experience was certainly a time, wasn’t it?

Needless to say, I’ve learned my lesson about the DMV. The moral of this little stressful story? The DMV is not like a drive-thru fast food restaurant. Better block out an entire day to devote to the experience. Oh, and don’t wait THREE years to renew your state ID… xoxo

[Last photo via Unsplash]

Monday, July 1, 2019

My Essay on Rooted In Rights: “Here’s What Dr. Phil Got Wrong in His Episode on Interabled Relationships”

In March, you may have seen me post this on social media: Spent a good portion of today thinking about the Dr. Phil episode featuring an interabled couple and more ableist tropes than should be in 2019. It’s irresponsible to present this narrative of disability. People with disabilities aren’t burdens. We’re human. When I posted about Dr. Phil’s ableist views on interabled relationships, I’m sure many of you knew an op-ed would be coming!! Here it is!! And it’s my first for Rooted In Rights — remember my second piece on Ali Stroker’s historic Tony nomination?

I love that my job allows me to be a voice for the disability community. To speak up for a group whose voices and needs are continually overlooked and dismissed. I may only be one voice, but I’ll never stop speaking up and being an advocate for people with disabilities. Always. And when it comes to interabled relationships, this is especially true!

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I write honestly about what it’s like to have a disability and the kinds of care we require…

And here’s something important that Dr. Phil seems to forget: There are different types of “caregiving.” It’s not just about the physical. I may require a lot of personal care from my family, but that doesn’t mean I can’t care for them as well, especially when it comes to emotional caregiving. The episode is a perfect illustration of the sort of ableism people with disabilities encounter on a daily basis. People are surprised when I tell them some of the things people have told me and sometimes, I wonder what’s worse: Their surprise or the fact that I’m not surprised by any of it.
Why are we still buying into the “burden” narrative when it comes to people with disabilities? People with disabilities are not burdens. We’re human. And we deserve to be treated with dignity.

Tuesday, June 18, 2019

My Essay on CNN Opinion: “What Clouded Ali Stroker’s Shining Tony Moment”

After two months of my pitches missing the mark, I got another acceptance from CNN Opinion!! Did you see Ali Stroker take home a coveted trophy at this year’s Tony Awards? Her nomination alone was a game-changer, but her win? Well, it’s downright historic!

She became the first wheelchair user to win and my heart soared when I heard her inspiring speech, in which she dedicated her award to kids with disabilities who have been waiting to be seen in the world.

But for all the moving-forward, making-progress vibes of her award, we still saw a stark reminder that society still has a ways to go when it comes to inclusion. Ali Stroker’s historic Tony win shows us about disability and accessibility — namely, that society still needs to do better.

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I explore this question: It’s 2019…why are people with disabilities still an after-thought and expected to live in a world that wasn’t made for them?

My heart sank because this scene illustrates the everyday ableism people with disabilities face, and it’s not an uncommon one. The issue of accessibility is something we’re all too familiar with, from theaters without ramps to restaurants with steps to buildings without elevators.
The truth is, the world is not made for people with disabilities, and there’s no denying the twinge of irony that came with Stroker’s win. Here she was, breaking down barriers and shattering disability stereotypes, yet confronted with a barrier to accept the award. In addition, by separating her from her peers and fellow nominees, this lack of a ramp was yet another example of a person with a disability being physically marginalized or separated from a group or community because of being differently abled than everyone else.
It’s telling the disability community that they need to conform to the able-bodied world instead of the other way around.

Friday, June 14, 2019

My Essay on Rooted In Rights: “Ali Stroker’s Tony Nomination Puts Disability Center Stage”

I can’t believe I got to write this as my second piece for Rooted In Rights, an amazing disability rights site! When I heard that actress Ali Stroker recently became the first performer in a wheelchair to be nominated for a Tony award, I was excited (note: I wrote a follow-up piece after her big win last week and will post that next week!). When I heard that they didn’t tone down her character (amorous Ado Annie in Oklahoma!), I was ecstatic.

To see an overtly sexual character with a disability is huge, especially in a society that typically sends the message that women with disabilities are asexual beings. Honestly, that’s something I’ve never understood and it’s actually incredibly frustrating. Why does our disability suddenly take away our sexuality as women? Is it because there’s this societal perception that disability is ugly, grotesque and shameful? I’m definitely not here for any of that!

Thanks to Ali Stroker, though, disability representation is taking center stage. Literally!! To see disabilities represented on the stage has been a long time coming, and it means that yet another barrier has been shattered in the fight for inclusion — a fight in which we still have so far to go!

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I talk about how much I’ve loved Ali Stroker ever since I first saw her on The Glee Project years ago (she should have won!)…

To pair disability with sexuality is nothing short of revolutionary. It’s not something we’ve necessarily seen so overtly on Broadway or quite so mainstream, and it’s sending the very-important message that, yes, women with disabilities can be sexy and can lean into their own sexuality just like nondisabled women. So often, disabilities are thought of as negative – sometimes even repulsive – and they’re virtually never included in mainstream conversations about sexuality. Or even in conversations about relationships in general, for that matter.
The assumption that women with disabilities are asexual beings is all at once hurtful, misguided and damaging. It’s an assumption that further puts us in the “other” category and fails to see us as whole people and all our identities instead of just part of us. And, it’s an assumption that should have been debunked decades ago.
Maybe that’s why I’m so thankful to see Stroker in the spotlight in Oklahoma! as a character who is a woman who embraces her sexuality and just happens to be in a wheelchair.