How have y’all been feeling lately?
I found this photo from my birthday a couple years ago and realized that I’ve since lost that cool, cheery cup!! It’s sort of symbolic, isn’t it? We haven’t had many “best days ever” during the pandemic. And, honestly, it sometimes feels like those carefree, innocent days are gone forever, doesn’t it??
Yes, these are certainly strange times, indeed. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been having ALL the feelings lately. I’ve been sad. I’ve been angry. I’ve been anxious. I’ve been confused. I’ve been scared.
See, so many emotions!! It can even be hard to sort through them all at times.
In 2016, I wrote these words in a blog post: “On the outside, it may look like I’m one of those cool, nonchalant girls who is just soooo relaxed and has it all together. But on the inside? I’m one gigantic mess of feels.”
I don’t have this whole life thing figured out. I don’t think any of us know exactly what we’re doing. This big thing called life is just one giant, utterly complete mystery.
I’ve shared a lot about my depression and these last few months of the pandemic feels like a sort of hazy dream. My depression was one of the scariest times in my life and I kept a diary during that time. A few months ago, I read through it for the first time. I haven’t opened that diary in 9 years (maybe out of fear?), but I wanted to share a passage because it captures depression/what we’re all feeling during quarantine/all these emotions so perfectly…
You can be a strong person and you can be a happy person — I was both those things before I became depressed. But depression is a physical illness and it’s not something you can just power through with strength and a smile. It doesn’t mean you’re weak or lazy. It means you’re sick…and it’s not your fault. Let’s change the conversation around mental illness, OK?
The world is so scary right now, so I’m going to keep clinging to the things that bring me joy. No matter how small. Life is hard and confusing right now, but I hope y’all are having a good day today!! We’ll get through this together… xoxo
Tuesday Tunes: Miranda Lambert’s “The House That Built Me”
update on melissa
We Need to Talk About Karen…
Tuesday Tunes: R.E.M’s “Everybody Hurts”
Elaine Reardon says
Well said.
Lynne Brown says
I love what you share – it makes me feel good every day when you write exactly what I had been thinking to myself. So good know that a kindred spirit exists out there to keep us all from losing our minds during these strangest of times. Thank you!
Miriam says
Hi Melissa. I’m a doctor from México working at a Covid center. This pandemic has been so exhausting mentally, emotionally and physically. For all of us.
I have good days, moments when i can actually sit and appreciate the little things, sunset, good music, a nice cup of coffe. But then i have bad days too, everything seems to be going wrong, sad and tragic moments, tears and sorrow.
Its been so hard..
Like you said, i will try to keep clinging to the things that make me happy.
Krysten says
To be honest I’m struggling right now. Personally things are good. My work like, though, is awful. It’s easy to tell that this pandemic is taking a toll, but people are taking it out in the worst way. Yesterday I was told that because I couldn’t get a pet in (we’re currently booked up for 2 weeks, it’s our very busy season and the pandemic has not helped) that it would be my fault if the pet died. I offered the client several other options and all she did was scream at me.
And this happens on the daily.
It’s just hard to deal with. Things are stressful enough without being yelled at for things beyond my control.
Usually I have a thicker skin but these days I’m considering a job change. I just can’t deal with horrible people anymore.
shelly says
Now is not he time to get blue. Next year will be better. We have a lot of good brains out there looking for the COVID vaccine. Some are already being tested!
Barbara says
Your smile is exactly what I needed. Thank you for the timely reminder that there is always–always!!–something positive. Not one person has this whole thing figured out, but we can make it better–as one, as many, as friends, as community.
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Antonio Spares says
We love you as you are!