Yes, friends!! I did write Christmas trees in the title of this blog post! And it’s a true statement — we’ve got multiple trees around our house this year — more than usual, in fact!!
But, really, who am I to complain here? I love being the photographer every year when we decorate the Christmas tree!!! How cute is my mom?!? We put our trees up over Thanksgiving weekend. I thought we’d be content with just two small trees — one in the kitchen and then one in my mom’s room. And then, just like that, my mom bought another Christmas tree!! That Santa tree skirt, below, belonged to my grandparents and reminds me of my childhood holidays spent in Alabama with them!!
Now this is what I call getting lit on a Saturday night, y’all
Also, a few words about the holidays…
A winter’s day
In a deep and dark December
I’ve always loved “I Am a Rock” by Simon & Garfunkel and find myself singing it a lot during this time of year.
And even though I’m generally an upbeat person, this has been my theme song for years. I’ve built walls. I’m sometimes afraid of getting close to people. I’ve used my writing as an armor of protection. I’ve felt like a rock and an island.
Holidays always have a way of making me think about the past. Last week during Thanksgiving, I got to thinking about how fall is such a hard season for me. My dad was diagnosed with cancer in the fall. And it was around Thanksgiving in 2010 that my severe depression took hold. I just remember watching the Macy’s Parade, something that was so full of fun and happiness, and I just couldn’t stop crying. A month later, I was hospitalized and it was so much scarier than any surgery I’ve ever had.
So I always get a little nervous this time of year about that depression coming back. Because it felt so all-encompassing, like it swallowed me entirely. Because I felt like I lost myself for a good 6 months. Because I worried every day that I’d never be Melissa again. Maybe I’ll worry every fall for the foreseeable future, but something I’ll never feel is shame. Depression is a physical illness and if you’re struggling, please never feel shame, OK??
And I’d love to know, friends: Do you have multiple Christmas trees in your home? Or one huge one? Any other fun holiday tradition you’re looking forward to this season?? xoxo