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Friday, January 18, 2019

Why I’m Not Supporting This Year’s Women’s March

Women's MarchA few days ago, I was enjoying my after-dinner episode of The View, which has become one of my favorite nighttime rituals. But on this particular night, my heart sank as I watched the interview with Women’s March co-presidents Tamika Mallory and Bob Bland. By the time the interview was over, I was left with one thought: This is something I can no longer support.

The Women’s March has come under fire for being less than inclusive when it comes to disabilities, but both Mallory and Bland’s non-apology apology and refusal to condemn Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan for his history of anti-Semitic and homophobic rhetoric is downright dangerous and beyond forgivable; Mallory even overtly praised the leader on Instagram recently, calling him the “Greatest of All Time.”

Despite push-back from The View co-hosts, neither woman from the Women’s March would say outright that they condemn.

“What I will say to you is that I don’t agree with many of Minister Farrakhan’s statements,” Mallory said.

This statement is, quite simply, not enough. Not agreeing with Farrakhan’s words is not the same as condemning him. It’s saying that, yes, you still support him, and this is complicity. You are who you surround yourself with and the Women’s March has no right to call itself an inclusive organization while simultaneously endorsing hate and bigotry.

With the third Women’s March set for this weekend, Mallory’s words are having some negative consequences. Both the DNC and Southern Poverty Law Center have cut ties and will not be a part of the march.

There’s no picking and choosing here. You can’t choose to embrace some parts of someone and cast aside other parts as if they don’t exist. And it’s incredibly toxic and reprehensible when the parts you ignore are actually harming people. We’ve fought so hard and come too far to settle for “Well, he’s said some very problematic things, but he’s helped people, so it’s all OK.”

No, no, no! It’s most definitely not OK. Because the minute we choose to look the other way, we’re setting a very dangerous and slippery precedent. What if, little by little, we keep extending the boundaries of what is acceptable and what we’re willing to overlook? How far are we willing to go until we stop and say “Hold on! This is not right!”

My hope is that the Women’s March gets itself back on track and finds its way. It hurts my heart that something meant to be a beacon of hope, meant to uplift women, meant to be a powerful statement of resistance, could become so damaging to the very people it’s supposed to be championing.

Women's MarchI really love the way my writer friend Dorri, who has attended the Women’s March in the past, explained it…

“It’s like people saying, ‘I don’t like immigrant children being separated from their parents’ and then vote for the Republicans who are making that happen. You cannot separate Farrakhan from anti-Semitism.

I was so happy at the Women’s March. I felt like we were fighting to right the wrongs. I thought of Gloria Steinem and MLK and all of the people throughout history who have fought hard for change. But it’s so crushing that one of the Women’s March founders doesn’t see that it is despicable to be friends with an anti-Semite. It’s just more hate. I thought the Women’s March was full of good people — and it was. But I cannot align myself with them anymore because of this issue. I cannot say, ‘Well, I don’t like Anti-Semitism, but I like the Women’s March.’ Just doesn’t work for me.”

Sometimes, it’s your silence that speaks the loudest. And what the women of the Women’s March don’t say tells me all I need to know. Because in the end, aligning yourself with him IS endorsing his hate. There is absolutely no way to separate the two. That sets us all back. That makes us all lose. And that is incredibly sad and disappointing…

[Top photo by Bryan Woolston for Reuters; Illustration via Join the Uproar]

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4 Comments Filed Under: Election, Heartbreak, Shame on you

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Comments

  1. Joyce says

    Friday, January 18, 2019 at 1:06 pm

    You are absolutely correct Melissa – very well stated as always! Love the quote from HRC.

    Reply
  2. Debra says

    Saturday, January 19, 2019 at 11:16 am

    I agree with you 100%

    Reply
  3. Dana says

    Tuesday, January 22, 2019 at 2:06 pm

    Think of it this way. I see the Women’s March as a larger movement than its two founders. Is it possible to make it not about two women and their beliefs that are different from yours, in favor of something bigger than either of them and any of us individually? If we abandon a movement because of something two people said or didn’t say, it misses the point of organizing completely and ultimately achieves nothing. The revolution dies and we are left with the same same, the status quo, and conservatives win, because they want us divided. This is part of the reason why liberals get nowhere…we can’t seem unite because we all have our share of biases and righteous beliefs that we hold on fiercely to. To me, that is not radical or progressive. What is, is setting aside pride and working together despite our differences. Truth is none of us are perfect, none of us agree on everything 100%. What about people who claim to love animals, yet choose to stay blissfully ignorant of the meat/dairy/leather industries? Or people who shop fast fashion even though no one truly wants to support child labor or modern slavery? Or people who are pro-environment yet fill their lives with plastics and are not conscious of waste? Not chastising any of those people, but just saying, there are so many scenarios in which every single person compromises in order to stick to what is convenient to the lifestyles that we choose and the beliefs that serve us. Just my opinion, thanks for reading, and thanks for writing 🙂

    Reply
    • MelissaBlake says

      Tuesday, January 22, 2019 at 4:16 pm

      Thanks for your thoughts, Dana! I see your point, but at the same time, this isn’t just about setting aside our pride. Something like anti-Semitism and homophobia is not something as innocuous as having a difference of opinion — it goes way beyond what is acceptable and I just can’t separate the Women’s March from someone who is aligned with that…

      Reply

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So About What I Said is a daily blog that covers relationships, disabilities, lifestyle and pop culture. I love to laugh and have been known to overshare. I also have an unabashed obsession with pop music, polo shirts, and PEZ dispensers. Read more...

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