Editor’s Note: This Open Letter is the culmination of several experiences I’ve had of late and is inspired by several people. Their names have been omitted for obvious reasons. Instead, I’ll merely refer to them as Jerky McJerksters. I’d say the name is appropriate, would you??
Dear Jerky McJerksters…
My, how quickly times change. Seems like it was only yesterday that I was writing in my journal about how I couldn’t wait for you to notice me, how desperately I wished I didn’t clam up every time I was around you and how I was sure we were soulmates, destined to be together forever. Oh yeah, and there was that sickening journal entry in which I literally listed all the things I could do to get your attention, like get smarter and use big words.
Like I said, it was all very sickening.
Equally sickening? This is the letter I probably should have written years ago. This is everything I’ve wanted to say — and everything I should have said years ago. Both to you and to myself — especially that 15-year-old girl who scribbled furiously in that journal.
The truth is, you may think you’re the smartest person in the world, but you don’t know the first thing about what it means to be kind. You obviously have zero regards for people’s feelings.
Let’s face it: The only times you’ve ever really interacted with me have been to show off, especially this summer. You seemed to love enlightening me on all the worldly things I obviously knew absolutely nothing about. Heck, you might even have been the original Mansplainer! But when the tables turned and I voiced an opinion? Oh, you didn’t take too well to that. At all. I guess you didn’t like me challenging you…or maybe I intimidated you? Either way, I guess you’re not used to that.
When someone is trying to be the bigger person and comes to you to apologize for any misunderstanding, don’t continue to talk down to her with a condescending attitude. Don’t try and keep “schooling” her on everything you think she doesn’t know.
Do I sound angry? I was at first — very angry and floored and just plain confused. And then I did what I always do and took a trip down the Reflection Highway. What did I find? Well, for one, maybe part of me is just really angry at myself. My gosh, did I really spend years pining after someone who wasn’t worth it in the end? All that wasted time and energy. Gone.
The reality never measured up to that fantasy I’d created in my head, and it never world. That fairy tale was just plain old fiction.
So good luck to you. I hope you’re very happy with yourself. Have fun with your life and all those big words. I’m sure you two will be very happy together.
And here’s a little life tip for you: It’s not that hard to be a decent human being. So, for heaven’s sake, just be one!
[Photo via We Heart It]
Jan Barker says
I don’t know what inspired this, but I
want to commend you for having the heart, soul, and courage to call out jerks. We’ve never met, but from what you write, I can see that you are one of the kindest, wisest, most inspirational souls on this planet. Thank you for being you and effecting positive change on a daily basis by doing just that.
From one of your biggest fans,
– Jan <3
It sounds like you dodged a bullet. A person like that wouldn’t respect you or your opinions in a relationship either.
Melissa, I am about to write a comment that will probably offend one of your readers, but sometimes curses and capital letters are just necessary.
I FUCKING LOVE YOU.
And this post? AMAZING.