If there’s one thing I know how to do, it’s CRUSH. Dating experience may elude me and I may be naive when it comes to The One, but that thing known as crushing? Oh yeah, I’ve totally elevated it to an art form. I’m exceptional at it.
Really, I am. I’ve had plenty of experience.
(Side note: As I’m writing this, Mandy Moore’s Crush just came on Pandora. Is this a coincidence? Oh, I think not. I mean, I did spend hours in my room belting out this song as a wee teenager, so there’s that…)
Anyway, if crushing were an Olympic event, I’d easily take home heaps of gold medal. Every single time. In fact, I’m such a pro that I’ve come up with this handy-dandy little list! Because when you really think about it, can’t crushes be easily categorized? So with that in mind, here are six types of crushes that never fail to get my heart all a-flitter…
Let’s start with a classic, shall we? With this crush, age really is just a number. It doesn’t matter if they’re 10 years older or 10 years younger. Never mind all the “hey, it’s grandpa!” or “is he your son?” jokes; these crushes steal your heart in one fell swoop. Hook line and sinker. I think we all know where I stand with this one…cougar, anyone??
The “OMG, but we’re friends” Crush
We’ve all been there — you know, the moment you want that innocent friendship to be SO MUCH MORE. Maybe you’ve been best friends your whole life or just met recently, but your friend? Oh, yes, you’re suddenly seeing them in a whole new light and it’s sort of scary. I mean, just ask Joey and Dawson about this one, right?
The Celebrity Crush
C’mon, we’ve all got one. Perhaps you’re afraid to admit it for fear of being ridiculed, but celebrities are the perfect objects of our displaced affection. They’re at a distance, forever unreachable and safe. You never have to worry about the fall out or some scary, awkward repercussions. They at once can be anything and everything you want them to be. So, go ahead and crush to your heart’s content!
The Wrong Crush
Maybe it’s liking someone at the absolute wrong time in your life. Or maybe it’s having a crush on the wrong person — your BFF’s sibling, your boss, someone’s who’s already married, your professor. It’s clear that you SHOULD NOT be having these types of feelings and yet…there they are. At every turn. They may have come out of nowhere, but it seems like they’re not going away any time soon.
(Side note: And now, Britney’s Toxic just came on Pandora. I’m starting to see a pattern today…yeah, that nude model lifeguard was probably pretty toxic to my innocent teenage self…)
Could Be Crush
You see this person every day — maybe he’s the Starbucks barista or the person who’s always at the gym at the same time you are. You both head toward the same treadmill. Cue the sappy music. It all sort of feels like kismet — a sign from the Love Gods. You even find yourself fantasizing about what the future could be — a quaint little cottage in the country with a pick-up in the driveway and the scampering of little feet throughout the house. That’s the beauty of this crush — they could be anything. And you’re just dying to find out.
The Opposite Crush
AKA as The “What?” Crush because let’s be real here — you never did see this one coming. They came out of left field, with their dark, brooding personality and their carefree attitude. What is going on, you wonder? This isn’t the type of person you usually go for. You’d think you’d be frightened or something, but, strangely, you’re not. You’re sort of intrigued to see where it all leads. Translation: It could be a wild ride. A very wild ride indeed.
What crushes would you add to the list, friends? Who has caught your eye over the years??? Did it surprise you? Or leave you even more confused than before?? xoxo
P.S. Remember my crushes on fictional characters and medical residents? Plus, the Don Draper Syndrome and the Peter Pan Complex! :)
David Archeluta's take on Crush is one of my favourites.