Are you more comfortable with a large circle of friends or with a few close chums? As it turns out, when it comes to friendship, it’s all about quality over quantity, at least according to research.
Psychologist Tim Kasser, wellness expert and author of The High Price of Materialism, studied people’s values and their effects on well-being — or, how our #SquadGoals inform our health and happiness. He found that people place value in one of two things: popularity or affinity. Those who prize popularity, Kasser claimed, are more likely to possess a drive to have a wider group of friends while those prize affinity are more concerned with deepening and building close relationships.
So what do all these differences really mean? Well, those who valued popularity turned out to be less happy, less healthy and more depressed than their affinity-minded counterparts.
Since I was a kid, I’ve always had a core group of four of five close friends. I have acquaintances, sure, but the people I really want to get to know and invest my time into? That list is pretty small. Because when I get close with someone, I want that bond to be really strong — rock-solid, even. I don’t want to be close to someone on some superficial, surface-y level. That’s just not me, and it never will be.
Which do you value more, friends, popularity or affinity? Do you have a wide circle of friends or a close-knit bunch? Has it changed over the years? Why or why not? Let’s chat, shall we? xoxo
Kara E says
My circle of friends has changed a LOT over the years. While I was BBF's with the same three girls in elementary school, we drifted apart in high school; I barely speak to my high school BFF now and my closest friends today aren't in the same circle.
I think the biggest reason why is just because we grow and our personalities change.