The Science of Love: Online Dating Tips

A few weeks ago, we dove deep into the world of online dating and got an expert’s view of the ins and outs of the All Mighty dating profile. Let’s continue our quest, shall we? I interviewed Nicholas Aretakis, dating expert and author of Ditching Mr. Wrong: How to End a Bad Relationship and Find Mr. Right. Read on for his online dating tips and some things to avoid when looking for love online…

Making an online profile seems so easy, yet why does it seem so hard to get it ‘just right’?
The reason people don’t get their online profile just right is because they don’t spend enough time, thought, energy and consideration writing and editing it. An online profile should be as precise, compelling, original, accurate and illuminating as a master résumé. For some reason, singles don’t take dating as seriously as, say, applying for a job. For women, in particular, it’s important to find the right man quickly — and get rid of the wrong guys quickly — because women have a deadline. It takes approximately 5 to 7 years to meet the right guy, get to know him, marry and then have children. If you are a woman in your late 20s or early 30s wanting to start a family one day, you can’t waste time. Singles who take their online profile seriously will have better luck finding Mr. or Ms. Right.

What are your top five tips for a great online profile (feel free to elaborate on each point)?
1. Differentiation: What makes me unusual, unique, original and one-of-a-kind?
2. Memorability: Present yourself in such a way that the reader won’t be able to get you and your profile out of their mind. Make it unforgettable.
3. Honesty: Take your time and really think about your relationship goals and the kind of person you are and you want to be. Then say that.
4. Cleverness/intelligence: Make the language interesting, quirky, fun and smart. Dazzle them with your brain.
5. Purpose: If you are serious about meeting a life partner, your profile will reflect that and will repel those who are looking for meaningless hookups. Think of your profile as a way to get the reader to do something. In this case, to consider if they are worthy of you, and then to contact you if they feel they are.

What are the top five things that will/won’t get your profile too many views?
1. Dumb jokes that aren’t funny.
2. Revealing truths about your flaws.
3. Low self-image.
4. Bad photo or image.
5. Poorly written text.

What should you be wary of when looking at someone else’s profile? What are the ‘red flags’?
Too much boasting or arrogance. Listing of meaningless pluses–such as car make and model, big salary, body parts. etc. Overemphasis on sex.

Is there anything else you think I should know?
You will reap what you sow. If you put a lot of heartfelt, sincere energy and effort into making a profile that’s a little gem — one that reflects who you are and what you seek — you will attract others of the same caliber.

Do you agree with this advice, friends? What would you add? What sorts of things do YOU think are important when it comes to your online dating profile? xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]