The Science of Love: A Psychologist’s View of Online Dating…

I’m excited to share two final interviews in our Online Dating Series this week. First up is Dr. Mary Gresham, an Atlanta-based clinical psychologist who works a lot with single people looking for partners. She brings her psychological expertise to the conversation, saying, “I encourage my patients to use dating sites like Match because each potential date has filled out the same questionnaire, and it is a great way
to see how people present themselves when each of them has had the same task to complete.” Here’s a peek at more of our interview…

Making an online profile seems so easy, yet why does it seem so hard to get it ‘just right’?
I think it is hard to get the right balance between seriousness and humor — you want to convey that you are serious in your response (that you will respond to others and treat them with respect), but not too serious (not overly intense or desperate).

What’s your top tip for a great online profile?
That it accurately convey your personality, especially your personal strengths. Too many have identical-sounding profiles that do not distinguish their unique qualities. Most people like sitting in front of a fire or walking on the beach; that is not very helpful in knowing about you. If your friends describe you in a particular way — really funny, dependable or loyal — find a way to include that.

What are the major turn-offs when it comes to your profile?
Not having a picture or having a long list of requirements for someone to respond. Choose the top 3 things that you are looking for in a partner. Also, be sure the picture you post is appropriate. Strange things are photos where an old partner is in the photo, where the person is obviously partying too hard and negative, frustrated attitudes.

What’s one thing you should do BEFORE you post your profile?
Be sure to show your profile to someone else before you post it! A good friend can tell you if you are showing your true self positively!

Thank you, Dr. Gresham! What’s the ONE THING you do before you hit ‘publish’ on your profile, friends? Any mistakes you realized after the fact? What did you do? xoxo

[Photo via We Heart It]