Hey you! That’s how I greet all of my friends, and I’m hoping you’ll be a new one! I’m Elle from ElleSees, a beauty blog based in Atlanta. I love to chat about all things beauty: tips, tricks, tutorials, reviews — even beauty DIYs are thrown in. There’s truly something for everyone. But today I’m not talking about beauty. I’m talking about My Dream For 2015.
Yesterday, I received horrible news: my Dad had been diagnosed with cancer. I took a deep breath and absorbed the news. This was something I wasn’t expecting to hear at all — parents are supposed to pass away when they’re old. He’s only 59.
I’m the oldest of my Dad’s kids and have forever held the role of being the strong one. The calm one. Okay, okay, I thought to myself, we can get through this. I was forming a plan in my mind for the questions I wanted to ask his doctor, plans to discuss treatment options and more as my sister kept talking.
But there was more bad news to come. It was followed by THE most horrible words: he has six months to live. Six. Months. There will be no treatment. No. Treatment. I kept hearing these words echo in my mind over and over. These words had overtaken the place of my hopeful plans and had developed a near-deafening buzz. These. Words.
The daze I was in after hanging up the phone disappeared when I was suddenly snapped into focus by the door banging and my dog, Charlie Brown, barking. I had friends coming into town to celebrate their birthdays at that moment and celebrating was the last thing I wanted to do.
Because my friends are amazing, they were willing to cancel everything to stay in and comfort me. But I insisted that we go out and celebrate, that maybe it would help a little. During the course of the evening, I raised my glass to give a toast and the words “celebrate life” stumbled out of my mouth. It was an epiphany. Celebrate. Life.
These words have now taken over the horrible ones and are now my dream. These words!
And so when I sat down to finish my original draft of this post, I erased it all to share this story because “celebrate life” is now my dream. I will celebrate life with the time I have left with my father. Every single moment. I will celebrate his life when he is gone. I will celebrate life with my loved ones — every single moment. I will no longer take life for granted. Instead, I will celebrate. I hope you do, too. This is my Dream for 2015.
–By Elle from ElleSees
[Photos via We Heart It]
Christy DuBois says
As I was reading your words I realized i was holding my breath. No one, no one that I no of anyway, ever wants to hear those words, ever. And I do not think even knowing that there is a very limited time to be with them/him that I really accepted or could be prepared when the actual time arrived. My Daddy passed away about two years ago after a long five years of being on dialysis. The last six to eight months my sister and I would take turns staying at my parents to help my Mom with Daddy. I remember after doing above and beyond, and we would all do it all over again, having to decide that it was too painful for Daddy to physically get him to and from dialysis and that didn't even compare to his misery during the actual dialysis time. It was..so..hard watching him in misery, just existing yet knowing this was it, once he stopped dialysis he wouldn't live more than a week. I wasn't ok with either decision yet it was happening. It's still like a dazed state we all were in. There are still days when something happens and I want to tell Daddy about it, or ask his opinion of a situation or when my Mom and I have been away from home for various events when we get in our hotel at night I feel like we are still to call Daddy and let him know we are in for the night. However, knowing about their limited time here we can tell them our feelings and not have a lot left unsaid when the time does come. It is a stressful emotional and at times exhausting time yet you don't give a second thought in doing what needs to be done for your Dad to be as comfortable as possible, or that's how it was for us. And we did find times of laughter through it all. I will be thinking and praying for you, your Dad, and your family. Celebrating life, his life, is wonderful! Remember that ultimately the Dr's aren't the Master Physician and miracles can and do still happen. I know I've rambled but my heart goes out to you. Please keep us updated when you can.
Denise Sabs says
Dear Elle, I am again so sorry for the news. Really really sorry, although I don't know you, but it's like I do. In such times, I am not good with words, but I see you are "digesting" things little by little and are strong. I have been there and maybe I am not that strong. It happened to me 4 years ago, when both my dad and mom passed away. I can't talk more about it, because I feel tears already. I am much better from the last year on, and I can say I had the same thoughts as you have now. LIFE. LIFE. LIFE!!! Enjoy it and honor our beloved ones lives. Pay them a tribute, because they gave us this wonder called life and we should make them proud and enjoy it. That's what they want for us, I am sure. e very sure I have you and your family in my thoughts and I wish you remain strong, but don't think less of yourself if you are down sometimes. It's natural. If you need anything, from someone you don't know, count on me. Sincereley!
little luxury list says
You said it – celebrate life! I send hugs and good thoughts to you and your family!
little luxury list formerly Chic 'n Cheap Living
Oh, lady! I'm partying for your family! I can't imagine how you and your family are feeling, but know that 'strangers' are praying for peace, grace and a possible miracle.
Shireen L. Platt says
Oh no, I have no words, Elle…I am so so sorry about your dad's diagnose. You and family must be devastated. Sending hugs and prayers your way. xx
Shireen | Reflection of Sanity
Kiki Mincks says
Elle, this was so beautiful. I was so happy to stumble onto your blog months ago and continue to love the person you are. Not only are you kind, honest, but your personality is just so contagious. I cannot imagine going through something like this. It breaks my heart that anyone would have to. The world just isn't fair and bad things happen to the best people. The best thing you can do and I hope you do, is to stay strong, stay Elle. Continue to be that uplifting person you've shown to be time and time again through your posts. My thoughts are with you and your family at this time. Remember a ton of people are praying for and with you. <3
This is such a beautiful post, Elle. Life is so precious and truly something to celebrate each and every day. You, your dad and your family are in my heart. Sending love and hugs!
Kerry @ Till Then Smile Often says
Wishing you kind thoughts and prayers through this time. Having lost my Aunt to Cancer it is tough, but I am glad you will have time with him. Video record stories and memories and be together as much as you can. Big Hugs.
Elle, I love this post. So beautiful. I hate that things have to happen for us to realise just how short and fragile life is, and I will forever look up to you with your attitude and positive outlook. Celebrate life – I love it. Big hugs girl, thinking about you and your family xxxx
Katie Garvin says
Oh, Elle! This is the second time I've heart/read about your heavy news — I am very close to my dad and while we all know that everyone only has a limited time here on earth….we so often forget that. Or don't want to admit it could ever be anytime soon.
I pray that the Lord would give you strength — especially as the oldest. I'm not the oldest in my family, but one of them, and I know my siblings often look up to me to be the 'level headed' one in the family. Even my husband looks to me for that on occasion. While it's nice to be thought of as 'able to take anything', there are times (like now, for you) that all I want to do is break down, cry, and have someone else 'deal with it'.
If you ever need someone to chat with, or even vent to….you know my email address 😉
Shea Sayers says
This is beautiful Elle. I'm so sorry about your dad, and my heart goes out to you. Thank you for sharing your story with us, and you've got a whole "family" of readers and bloggers who love you and are sending prayers and thoughts your way!
Sending you lots of hugs and ️praying for you and your family. My father in law was diagnosed in December and it just broke my heart to pieces. We need to stay strong, enjoy every moment you have with your sweet daddy and take pictures, give him extra hugs and CELEBRATE!!!
Thank you for sharing this with us! You are beautiful, strong and brave💜