To all you lovers out there…

Dear You…

Yes, You. I’m talking to You. I see you there, so don’t even try to hide. And even more importantly, don’t even try to hide what you’re doing. I see you constantly checking your phone for that elusive text. I see you refreshing Facebook every five minutes. I see you mindlessly analyzing every word, every syllable, of the last conversation you had together. You’re probably even planning out exactly what you’re going to say the next time you see each other.

Is this really what love looks like in 2015? Is it really supposed to leave you confused and exhausted?

Now, don’t get me wrong — as I’ve shared many, many times on this blog, I’ve had my own moments. I’ve had things blow up in my face, I’ve misread the signs and I’ve fallen for the wrong person. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m far from perfect, and I most definitely don’t have everything all figured out when it comes to matters of the heart. So often, we’re told that love has to be messy and complicated and a roller coaster ride for it to mean anything, but I don’t believe that’s true. Who says love can’t be soft and quiet and decidedly uncomplicated? Shocking, I know, but possible? Of course.

But I do know one thing, and I hope you remember it too: You deserve more. You deserve to be loved deeply and fully and passionately, the kind of love that is real and enveloping and heart-pumping. You deserve someone who wants to walk with you, not in front of or behind you, who will take your hand, make you laugh when you’re sick and let you hog the hours on the DVR. You deserve someone who cares about your past — who wants to know about it — because they want to be a part of your future. You deserve the kind of unconditional love that doesn’t come with strings attached or standards to meet or hoops to jump through.

That’s not some sort of outrageous demand, No one is ever worth your tears, your disappointments or your “just settling.” If they make you cry more than laugh, mad more than happy or just plain frustrated more than excited, then they’re not worth it. I just can’t stress that enough. Don’t give them your heart if they don’t deserve it.

Because let’s just be real for a second here: Valentine’s Day isn’t just about romantic love. It’s about the love you have for yourself. Love yourself enough to realize that you’re worth it. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that just because you’re alone now means you’re destined for a lifetime of single-lady-with-cats status. Love yourself and let that be enough for you. Let you be enough for you. Trust me. No one will ever come close to loving you as much as you love yourself.

Don’t be afraid to wear your heart on your sleeve, of course, but don’t forget to protect it, too. After all, it’s the only one you’ve got. You’re the only one you’ve got, so this Valentine’s Day, please, please love YOU FOR YOU.