TO: Men all over the planet
RE: Disability 101
DATE: June 18, 2013
So, boys, you know how David Letterman has a Top Ten list every night? Well, a few years ago, I came up with one of my own. It was dozy of a list, a veritable smorgasbord of my medical life — all neatly explained in just ten points. What could be better than that? I thought it would be fun to share them with you because, as you know, knowledge is most definitely power — and power is sexy… Oh wait, where was I? Oh, yes, that handy little list…
1. It’s not contagious; and it won’t give you Cooties, either.
2. It’s given me a punchy sense of humor.
3. I was once hospitalized for 31 days for an infection I contracted after surgery for a spinal fusion (hence, my constant perfect posture).
4. I was oh-so-very hot during said stay – literally. My temperature rose to 106. I was probably a bit delirious, too – not that I remember too much, though.
5. I find hospitals oddly comforting; in fact, some of my happiest family memories from my childhood, especially with my father, took place there.
6. I’m a girl who loves to eat. I dehydrated easily as a girl, so I was frequently hospitalized for IV fluids. The routine was always the same: They hooked me up to that IV, let me rest and recover for a couple days and then once I was feeling better, I’d order a cheeseburger and the doctors knew it was time to give me my discharge papers. They called it “The Melissa Blake Diet.” I refused to eat that giggly Jell-O. Even in the hospital, I set the rules.
7. To date, I’ve had 27 surgeries, but haven’t had one since I was 15.
8. In high school, my disability sometimes made me feel like a class freak; though I think I hid it pretty well. I tried to project an air of self-esteem at least.
9. I’m just less than 4 feet. How tall were the Seven Dwarfs? I could probably qualify as the eighth.
10. My motto: “Why walk when you can roll?”
What do you think, boys? I hope this shows that even though it may seem like it’s pretty easy to get to know me — which it is to some degree — there is still so much below the surface. What would you love for me to know about you…? xoxo
[Bottom photo via Le Love]