
But that’s a foolish notion, isn’t it? To think that I have the power to easily distract both my mind and my heart — as if I could just turn them off like a switch. It’s a naive thought, really. Because I simply can’t turn off my emotions, even if I wanted to. There’s just no way I can turn them off in the face of something like this.
This week is most definitely not the time to be playing hide-and-seek with my emotions. After all, it’s The Week. The week before everything changed some 10 years ago, before everything in my once-stable world began to crumble around me. At least, that’s how I feel now about this week, the week before my father committed suicide on March 10, 2003.

And the 2013 me? Well, needless to say, she’s not too excited about the upcoming week. She knows all too well what happened a decade ago and what’s happened since. It’s a lot to take in — maybe something that can only be absorbed in very small doses.

Annie says
Melissa, I'm so glad you have and continue to allow yourself to feel whatever it is you need to feel. I can only imagine how hard it has been. I think you're incredibly brave and strong. I can definitely understand the sentiment of how much perspective makes an incredible difference in the emotions that surround a memory, especially a difficult one. Wishing you peace today and always. xoxo
Kate @ Daffodils says
Gaining perspective with each passing year must be difficult and healing at the same time. I am glad you are able to write about it and so sorry for your loss.
Melissa Blake says
Annie — exactly! I never really thought I'd feel such a change in my emotions over the years. It's pretty amazing what time can do.
Melissa Blake says
Kate, thanks so much for your kind words…it means a lot! xoxo
Carly Findlay says
Wow Melissa- so brave of you to tell your story. I am sorry for your loss.
Samantha Kimble says
Melissa if I were in your shoes I know what would be going on in my head. Every moment would be reliving the week in slow motion. Looking for signs, thinking what if… I hope that you don't go there. You are very brave to talk about all of this and please know that you have a community that is behind you, rooting for you.
Krystal says
i think its amazing that you wrote about this and its probably helpful to get what you are feeling out, as its not any less i'm sure than what it was 10 years ago. hugs.
Lena at A Crimson Kiss says
I can't imagine how hard this week must be, but I'm honored that you share the struggle with all of us.