A colleague recently shared with me something surprising andshocking: She rarely looks in a full-length mirror, and when she does, it is
only superficially. “T” is beautiful, thin, married and able-bodied. Women with
disabilities are not alone; able-bodied women also struggle with body love and
self-esteem. Sometimes, it is easy to fall into poor victim mode and blame
everything on whatever your “thing” is. Mine is my visible arthritis. As I
often do, I put on my therapist hat with “T,” probing, validating and offering
ideas.
I didn’t suggest this to “T,” but something that helped me
connect to my body more deeply was when I posed nude for a photography show a
few years ago. It’s such a long story of how I got to do this, and the story of
The Raw Beauty photography exhibit was life-altering for the 20 disabled women
who were models for our exhibit. I’ll share with you the highlights and what opened
up for me. Out of the 20 women who posed, I was one of three who posed
semi-nude.
connect to my body more deeply was when I posed nude for a photography show a
few years ago. It’s such a long story of how I got to do this, and the story of
The Raw Beauty photography exhibit was life-altering for the 20 disabled women
who were models for our exhibit. I’ll share with you the highlights and what opened
up for me. Out of the 20 women who posed, I was one of three who posed
semi-nude.
At age 42, I stood taller and stronger in self-acceptance. Iwas happy with work and had a guy who was crazy about me, so when the
opportunity to do Raw Beauty came to me, I said yes. Usually I would analyze
and over-think, but this time, I didn’t. I thought, “People stare at me anyway…why
not have them stare at a beautiful photograph?” Don’t get me wrong — when the
big day came to bare it all, I still felt nervous, shy and hesitant. But our
photographer was incredible, and he also had a chronic illness, which made him
more sensitive to body image stuff.
We don’t often think of when or how we feel most beautiful,
and I got to design my very own photo shoot. I met with my photographer before
the shoot to discuss specifics of clothing, poses and looks I liked. We had a
blast, and it was exactly as I envisioned a real model shoot. I’m excited for
all women to do this. After my shoot, I felt so inspired and altered that I
called the other models who were vacillating about posing nude and screamed,
“You gotta do it; it was amazing!” I know I inspired one of my friends with
arthritis; she secretly hired a photographer for her own boudoir shots and gave
them to her husband on their anniversary.
and I got to design my very own photo shoot. I met with my photographer before
the shoot to discuss specifics of clothing, poses and looks I liked. We had a
blast, and it was exactly as I envisioned a real model shoot. I’m excited for
all women to do this. After my shoot, I felt so inspired and altered that I
called the other models who were vacillating about posing nude and screamed,
“You gotta do it; it was amazing!” I know I inspired one of my friends with
arthritis; she secretly hired a photographer for her own boudoir shots and gave
them to her husband on their anniversary.
The lesson here: Let go of your fear and take the photos foryou; I have a few of them framed in my apartment. When I am feeling low or down
about anything, I glance at the photo of me and remember my beauty. Give
yourself this gift for the New Year!
–By Shelly
[Photos via We Heart It]
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Lena at A Crimson Kiss says
I haven't owned a full-length mirror or a scale in probably a decade–it keeps me from obsessing, but I never realized how truly odd that sounded until now. Thank you for the wake up call–and the sound advice!
spashionistareport says
It's funny, body image seems to be a hot topic this week. I just wrote a blog post about some vicious comments directed at me for daring to be disabled and post photos of myself on my fashion blog. http://spashionistareport.wordpress.com/2012/12/19/if-you-dont-like-the-way-i-look/#comment-320
Love your posts – Happy Holidays!
Spashionista (Alicia)
liz says
I feel its a little strange that you chose to include photos of idealistic beautiful women..
jen says
i thought you were only 30ish? i didn't get it. were you paraphrasing?
Melissa Blake says
Good catch, Jen. This is Shelly's newest column, but I forgot to put her name at the end. Thanks for catching it…must be that cold I'm still getting over!