Have a question? I’d love to hear it, so feel free to email me (mellow1422 [at] aol), friends! Today’s question comes to us from Shannon, who asks…
You have mentioned in past blogs that you don’t drink. I was wondering, is that for medical reasons, social stigma, or just because you don’t like it? Have you ever drank before? Do people in your family drink?
The short answer: No. I don’t not drink for medical reasons. I don’t not drink because I’m a recovering alcoholic. Truth be told, I’ve never drank before. I know that’s not the most popular answer for someone my age, but honestly? I’ve never understood the allure of drinking. There are too many instances where said drinking has gone beyond what would be considered social drinking and into the danger zone — the kind that leave you stumbling and mumbling and running off to Las Vegas looking for the next available Elvis impersonator. What is appealing about that? I’d much rather wake up in the morning and remember what happened the night before than have zero recollection of anything. That would terrify me. Yes, some may think this is being a prude, but I suppose what is comes down to is not wanting to lose that control that comes with alcohol-induced inhibition. Because, really, you can enjoy anything just as well sober as you can when you’ve kicked back a few — is that the correct term?
Now don’t get me wrong. I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve developed my share of vices in my 30 years. At the top of my list is that pesky little devil known as retail therapy. It’s evil, I tell you, pure evil. In fact, I’ll be indulging in it today. I can shop with the best of them. So I suppose we all have our unhealthy habits, don’t we? I guess drinking has just never been one of mine. Besides, being less than 4-feet tall, it probably wouldn’t take too much to get me tipsy… xoxo
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Dancing Branflake says
You are awesome. I love that you have a belief and you stuck to it, no matter the social pressure to do otherwise. I don't drink, either. For the reasons you mentioned and otherwise.
Melissa Blake says
Yay, tiffany!! Glad I'm not alone!!
Less-Than Gyllenhaal says
I know a lot of non drinkers who have adopted this attitude. However, saying that drinking leads to blackouts and flights to Vegas takes away the credit responsible, social drinkers deserve. As a former bartender and occasional indulger of the umbrella drink, I know that people can get rowdy/weepy/embarrassing. Back in college I drank too much tequila and cried for 25 min about finishing my bag of Combos…definitely never did that again. There are many levels to drinking, ranging from the occasional bottles of wine with your girls to body shots on spring break…just stay away from the latter and you're good to go. I guess it's a "don't knock it unless you've tried it" kind of situation…as for me, I haven't drank tequila since 🙂 in the wise words of Alanis, you live, you learn
HiLLjO says
I agree. Not everyone who drinks, drinks to get drunk.
Especially not in a black-out and fly to Vegas way.
Anonymous says
I respect your decision about not drinking; it's a personal one for each person. But, I think that you've left out those people who do drink responsibly. Some people might only drink wine on special occasions or as part of a fabulous gourmet meal. I don't think that means they're all going to end up in Vegas at the Little White Chapel. (Try not to make the people who choose to do the things that you choose not to do sound like reckless buffoons.)
I am alos curious, does this mean that anyone in a relationship with you has to be a non-drinker too? Is this another one of your absolutes or can there be some flexibility with you future partner's personal choices about drinking?
Anonymous says
Not everyone drinks like the cast of the jersey shore:) I dunno I think drinking in moderation can be really fun. It can on the one hand feel really celebratory and on the other be a relaxing way to wind down. It can also be really romantic to be just a little fuzzy with a loved one over a bottle of wine and some candle light…
That being said I have some friends who do not drink for various reasons and they are absolutely not any less fun!
You should do what makes you happy. And if not drinking makes you happy that's great! But trying new experiences is fun and important. I bet if you tried a nice big glass of wine with people you feel comfortable with you would enjoy it.
Melissa Blake says
Good point, guys…i see your point. i know there are people out there who drink socially or in moderation. i was just speaking for me…
Melissa Blake says
First Anon — the person i'm in a relationship with doesn't have to be a non-drinker, but I do want him to have a healthy relationship with alcohol. i'll always be respectfully declining drinks, though… xoxo
April says
gotta agree with what others said that a lot of people drink responsibly and in moderation. personally i've yet to try any alcohol that i actually liked the taste of!
Anonymous says
Drinking to excess has very little appeal. I don't know anybody like that and my circle of friends is very wide. Of course, there have been times when we have all had one to many but those times are few and far between. I don't drink very often. Sometimes a beer with a slice of pizza from Castel Gandolfo is a great combo. My drink of choice is two fingers of Aberfeldy 21. It's too expensive to have more than that. Cheap liquor is for unsophisticated.
Anonymous says
"Kicking back a few" is correct; "alcohol-induced inhibition" is the opposite of what you mean. I'm not sure I understand your reason for not drinking. Exaggerated fears of blackouts and hasty marriages aside, I guess you are truly afraid of losing an ounce of control. That is probably exactly why you should have a glass of wine and loosen up a tiny bit.
Anonymous says
I, too, respect your reasons for not drinking, but I must say, I find them a little bit, ummmm…..immature??? What makes you think that people that drink a little too much now and then board a plane to Vegas and so something so stupid that they have absolutely no recollection about the next day? Mature adults that drink responsibily enjoy a cocktail or two for a vast variety of reasons. Even Jesus himself turned water into wine to celebrate a marriage! A daily glass of red wine is beneficial to one's cardio-vascular health. Deals are made, problems are solved, tears are shed, friendships are strengthened, souls are bared and people fall in love lingering over a lovely glass of wine and have since the beginning of time. Your attitude is one that is best shared by some 18-yr. old out-of-control frat boy who probably has arrived at college fresh off the turnip farm and is enjoying his first taste of alcohol-induced euphoria with a fake ID. Most 30-something women have moved beyond such nonsense.
Anonymous says
And as far as your "shopping addiction", I've read your past posts. The only place you ever mention shopping at……is the local Target! Nothing against Target, but seriously??? Have you ever been to Geneva Commons, Aurora Outlet Mall, Gurnee Mills, Woodfield shopping mall, Mall of America? Once a year, my girlfriends and I fly down to West Palm Beach, Fla. and do some mega-shopping damage on Worth Ave. and Delray Beach. Now THERE'S some shopping opportunity for the serious shopper! Leave the mass-produced, cheap Taiwan-ese merchandised, polyester palaces of Targets to the novices!
Shannon Hughes says
Thanks for sharing, Melissa! I completely respect your decision not to imbibe. I'm a vegetarian and people are always asking me why I don't eat meat, so I guess we are similar in the way that we will always be declining what other people think to be "normal." I do enjoy a good drink now and then but I'm trying to cut down 🙂 Happy Wednesday!
Melissa Blake says
As for shopping, , yes, I've taken my love of shopping beyond Target. Been to Woodfield lots of times, Aurora Outlet Mall, Michigan Avenue in Chicago, just to name a few. I can shop with the best of them, I assure you!
Melissa Blake says
As for drinking, I can have a good time without alcohol. It's not appealing FOR ME; of course there are millions of adults who drink responsibly. I have nothing wrong with that. Everyone have their own personal preference…this is mine. A personal decision is never nonsense.
Anonymous says
What is "nonsense" is the mis-guided belief that alchohol, when used irresponsibly, causes people to do bizarre things with absolutely no recollection whatsoever of their actions. That simply is not true! People that I know personally that have over-indulged on occasion have simply gone home to bed, taken two aspirin and lots of tomato juice the next day to remedy the inevitable hang-over. But I still do not understand WHY you don't allow yourself a nice glass of wine on occasion? You never really answered the question. Do you dislike the taste? Does it inter-act with your meds? Is it against your relgion? The only real explanation you eluded to was that you fear you aren't responsible enough to handle the possible effects of consuming too much alcohol, but why in the world can't you enjoy a nice glass of wine now and then for a special occasion????
Melissa Blake says
Last Anon — I've just never wanted to drink. Simple as that. Some people don't like certain foods. I don't like alcohol.
Hope that clears things up! 🙂
Fashion, Art and other fancies says
Brilliant post! I rarely drink, but I do enjoy the odd glass or two of champagne;-)
Anonymous says
"Some people don't like certain foods. I don't like alcohol."
You can't dislike something you've never tried.
Does your mother or sister drink? Did you father? It seems there has to be some other reason than just "nope, never wanted to.
I'm curious whether you ever change your mind about something once you've formed your first opinion. It seems like you made a snap judgment and never look back. I hope that's not true.