I’m never shy about telling people I think I’m beautiful. I’m never shy about telling people I’m going to be a star one day (I even practice my autograph from time to time, but that’s probably more than you ever needed to know). And of course, I’m not at all shy about telling people that I know what’s right for them. All the time.
Yet the scary truth: Sometimes, I don’t know if I believe those statements.
They say a confident, bold outer you will produce a glowing, radiant inner you. I’ve been thinking a lot about that lately. Some people, like my father, for instance, are confident. And that confidence is genuine. You can just tell by the way they walk, talk and generally carry themselves. It really is a sight to behold, actually. It’s not arrogance, the things they say about themselves; it’s just a quiet, ever-humble assertion that they are content and happy with who they are and where they are in life.
Confidence can be a tricky thing, can’t it? As easy as it can be to get it, it can just as easy blow away like the wind. And sometimes, we can feel ourselves getting scared that it will never come back.
So maybe we should just all stop looking for that key of confidence. Let it come to us naturally, in its own time and in its own special form? What do you think, friends? What are you secrets to killer confidence? What do you do when you need a dose of I Am Awesome? xoxo
[Photos via Le Love]
Sponsor Spotlight: urban legend
Man Candy Monday.
Wise Words From Readers: On becoming an adult…
I’ll Never Back Down.
Wendy says
For so long, I was in relationships with people who spent their time looking elsewhere and not seeing my special brand of beauty. Now, I'm lucky enough to have someone who thinks I'm enough and wonderful and beautiful. And I'm staring to think I'm pretty okay too.
Melissa Blake says
That's awesome, Wendy!! xoxo
FourJedis says
What a great post. Here's my secret. I'm confident because I'm me, and I'm the best me I can possibly be. I put it all out there and go hard at whatever I do. If others like me, great, if not, I'm ok with that because I don't love every person I meet. I do love you and your blog and you are beautiful.
HiLLjO says
I get my confidence from knowing that each day I am the most me I can be. I never try to be something I'm not and everything I do is in the guidelines of my personal responsibility policy.
I just can't help but feel flawless when I'm doing everything I can to just be the truest me ever.
Lacy says
I use to never be confident, or at least i never thought I was. It was just recently that I realized how confident I am, and always have been. Here is my trick: Don't care what other people think about you. I've never based people on appearance, just actions and personality. But even people who love me and are my friends, I don't 100% care what they think about me. If I'm doing something right and they like that, that's great. if I do something wrong and they don't like it but still like me, that's even better. Not everyone likes every single thing about one person, but as long as you love yourself for who you are, and don't care what anyone else thinks, you are going to be well off…
Melissa Blake says
Hill — The most me…i love that! It's so true!
Anonymous says
For me confidence comes from knowing that I can handle whatever comes my way. I don't need to put anyone down or think that I'm better than them, or even compare myself to them to feel confident. I dress well and take care of my appearance; I treat other people well and I have confidence in my manners; I'm not worried that I am going to offend anyone because I know that I was raised to be respectful, polite and thoughtful of other people without being a doormat of course. I try new things that terrify me, because every time I do and I survive it, I gain another bit of confidence that I can handle myself out in the world. The key to finding confidence is to challenge yourself to do new things; have a dinner party or potluck; ask someone out for coffee; join a new club or group; save up and take a dream vacation to a tropical destination. As a woman with a disability, I gained an incredible amount of confidence by traveling by myself, before I met my husband. Confidence comes from being out in the world with other people, having fun and trying new things.
emily jessica says
i read somewhere recently that if you're near people eating mangos, you're likely to eat mango… and if you're near people who vomit, it tends to make you vomit too.
it was a strange way of looking at things for me, but i sort of love the idea and think it's prob true.
certain people drain my self confidence. usually not through any malicious intention – just by being the wrong people for me to be around/compare myself to… it's one of my 2012 goals to live 'surrounded by more mango people'!!
THE ALTERNATIVE WIFE says
I never used to be confident. Growing up, especially as a teenager and in my early to mid 20s I was pretty shy and unsure of myself. It was only as I grew older and happier with myself and my abilities that my confidence started to shine through. I just became more comfortable in my own skin and stopped caring what others thought of me. I don't compare myself to others. I know I'm awesome and that's all that matters and that's the advice I give to everyone. We're all special in our own ways. We should all celebrate that. xoxo
bridechic says
It is who you surround yourself with I think. That and havimg a passion and love for what you do as well as sharing it with others.
oxoxox from San Francisco
Amy
http://bridechic.blogspot.com
Amanda says
I used to always hear that I should fake confidence until the feeling was real. I thought that piece of advice was total BS…until I tried it, and it actually worked! I was very insecure in high school, but as I went through college I decided to play it cool. I stopped acting like I thought I was awkward, dorky, and unattractive. After a while, I really stopped feeling that way about myself. I would "put on" this new me when I interacted with people until one day I realized I was no longer pretending. The point of that story being that I believe confidence is really a state of mind, something that can definitely be adopted with enough practice. 🙂
Barbara says
It's wonderful to feel good in your own skin, to know your worth as a person, regardless of the outer packaging.
We're all beautifully, wonderfully made!
Anonymous says
I've been going through a rocky patch where I feel no confidence at all. It happened pretty gradually. How right you are that it is scary wondering if you'll ever get it back! Or looking at an older photo of yourself in happier times and barely recognizing who you see.
I agree with Amanda – "fake it 'til you make it" really does work! I know I'll get back there eventually.
To those who posted rude and hurtful comments (which I think may have been rightfully deleted)…I don't even know what to say. I realize sharing your thoughts on a blog can be inviting comments and advice but why say things you would never DREAM of saying to a person's face? It's so disrespectful.
Laura says
I'm not sure when, but at some point it occurred to me that I'm improving as I get older, so now a lot of my confidence comes from knowing that the things I'm not that great at now will probably seem like a breeze in a year!
Melissa Blake says
That's a great way to look at things, Laura…like a fine wine, we only get better with age!