Have a question? I’d love to hear it, so feel free to email me (mellow1422 [at] aol), friends! Today’s question comes to us from Tiffany, who asks…
Where do you see yourself in 20 years?
I’ve always loved the movie Back To The Future. It got me thinking about both the past and the future. And then after thinking about how far I’ve come yesterday, this is the perfect time to think about the future, isn’t it? Truthfully, I’ve always been a bit scared of the future. You all know by now that change and I aren’t exactly the best of friends. Honestly, I sort of fear change, probably because I only think of it in terms of bad change. I’ve been so conditioned to brace myself for all the bad things that change will eventually bring that I’ve all but closed myself off to the possibility of good change. So it’s been a struggle sometimes to see the silver lining in change, to see that good things — even wonderful things — can come from change. It’s crazy to think that in 20 years, I’ll be 50; maybe that will be the new 30? It will be the year 2032, which just sounds completely crazy to me. I see myself still writing, of course. I’d love to live in the Big Apple, maybe writing for a magazine (will magazines still exist?) or working on a book. 
That’s the practical side of me. The impractical dreamer in me? She wants to have her own talk show. How fun would that be? I can see myself musing about anything and everything!
What about you, friends? Where do you see yourself in 2032? Have you even thought about it? Do you worry about the future? Do you look forward to it? xoxo
P.S. Here are 52 reasons why Back To The Future rocks!
[Bottom photo via We Heart It]
Dating With Disabilities Reader Mail.
Aww alert: Photo booth for dogs
Tuesday Tunes: Rod Stewart’s “Forever Young”
Anonymous says
Funny, I can never picture myself as growing older…I would be 48 in 20 years. I always think of my loved ones…like "No way can my mom ever be 79 years old!" I just hope I squeeze in all the things I want to. If I get engaged/married in the next two years (which I'd love to do) I suppose I'd be sending a kid off to college in 2032…crazy. Also looking back at photos of me at this age and thinking "Why did I think I looked bad? Didn't even have wrinkles yet." Hah.
Katy says
In 2032, I'd really just love to be living a creative life (writing, acting, or graphic designing) with a peaceful home. A husband who looks like Clooney and a few kids wouldn't be bad either! ;D I'll probably have also passed on my love to Harry Potter onto my kids too. 🙂
Stephanie [Luxe Boulevard Bridal] says
Oh man. Life has been hectic of late and I find myself thinking just one day at a time. Today, not tomorrow, not yesterday. Some days I feel it is the only way I can breathe. Please tell me other people have moments in life like that!
But … if I were to imagine my life in twenty years I would be the blubbering mother, watching my son marry a beautiful woman who knows God's love. I will fear for my daughter that maybe she is too ambitious, always three steps ahead of herself. I still get to cherish my youngest daughter neverending demands of hugs and kisses. I will know how to be a better wife to my husband. I hope I can be a best selling author. My products will be spread out across a bridal magazine. The world of technology will come to a halt and not make me feel so confounded all the time.
Anonymous says
Mel,
I think it's the IMPRACTICAL side of you who wants to live in NYC. Unless, of course, you enjoy the constant stream of talentless street performers reeking of b.o. and hobos smelling of urine demanding a handout and inflated (no, scratch that. f**k you in the ass sky high) prices. I didn't live in some s**tty $2500/month studio in Astoria, my bldg overlooked the park and had a doorman and that douchebag rapper MC something or another on the upper floor. He always parked his Bentley (with spinning rims) horizontally, taking up 4 parking spaces!!! You are better off staying where you are. You can work for a magazine living anywhere. But the talk show idea sounds intriguing. In 20 yrs, I would like to have enough $$$ to retire. I want to get back into music, a career aspiration I gave up because my parents said it wasn't practical or lucrative.
Anonymous says
I like your aspirations to live in NYC, but I think if that's your goal, you might want to start now to prepare. You're from a small midwestern town and you still live in your mother's home at age 30. Just a couple of suggestions….I hope you are at least part-owner of the home in which you live and that you contribute to the mortgage, taxes, maintenance, insurance, etc. I hope you are involved in paying the monthly bills. That way, you'll be know what it takes to manage day to day living expenses. I hope you are investing your money wisely and utilizing the guidance of a financial advisor, as it will take quite a bit to live even semi-comfortably in NYC. At your age, you might want to look into IRA's, it's never too early. It's all well and good to have a dream, but to make that dream a reality, you have to have a plan. So what are you doing to pave the way towards that goal of living independently in a huge city? Good luck!!
Jessi Haish says
I've never seen that movie..
Anonymous says
What you spend to live "semi-comfortably" in NYC you could live very comfortably anywhere else, except maybe California. But you are correct Anon, it is never too early to save and invest, even if it is just $100/month. Thrifty is the new extravagance to paraphrase Mel. All this live now pay later, easy credit, consumer driven economy, bs is why we are in this financial mess. I am serious about retiring so I can devote myself to music. I would be happy playing in a cover band. I contribute the maximum to my IRA and 401K plans. And I save, save, save. Compound interest is the best. I live below my means. Hell, my car is 12 yrs old. Still looks almost new. I take the subway to work.
Anonymous says
What I was trying to get across is that if Melissa has these goals, it would be very beneficial for her to start living a little more independently. Obviously, her financial situation is nobody's business, but still living at home with Mom doesn't exactly project the image of the confident, independant woman she claims to be. If she is serious about making it in NYC, I'd like to read about her progress to make that happen. Maybe take a trip there to check it out and blog about that? Has she actually applied for jobs there? I'd love to read about her getting her own place and see what her own decorating style would be, what kind of new and interesting people she would meet…..now THAT would be something interesting to read in her blogs! I hope she pursues that..it sounds so exciting!
Anonymous says
Hi Melissa,
I think the above anons’ questions about finances are interesting and definitely something that anyone planning on moving out of the family home needs to think about. Having said that, I also know that having a disability presents other financial and accessibility issues that able bodied people don't have to think about. For the record, I am woman with a disability who has had multiple surgeries both in my childhood and adulthood. And every major surgery affected my mobility and independence for a few months until I was able to do things by myself again. I’m quite familiar with needing assistance with personal care (dressing, bathing, etc), things that you have mentioned your Mom helps you with.
Here in Canada, we have a universal healthcare system that provides subsidized, accessible housing for people with disabilities. PWDs who have limited mobility and/or can’t do all their personal care independently can also receive tax credits or monthly top-ups to their earned income if it falls beneath a certain threshold. The allowance can be used for hiring care attendants that come in once or twice a day to help with personal care, housekeeping tasks and cooking, etc, so that for the most part the PersonWD can live very independently without having to rely on family members for all their support. Here, you can also work with an Occupational Therapist who can help find ways to do things independently and it is covered by the government.
In the US, are there any programs like that available to you and other PWD? I’m interested in knowing how support services for people with disabilities are provided in other countries, particularly ones that don’t have universal healthcare. Thanks in advance for any candid answers you can provide.
Dancing Branflake says
Live in NYC. Do it. You can totally do it. You have the drive and ambition and talent. NYC is where are all connections are and you will THRIVE there. You can do it!
Nikki says
I fear change too. I guess because we don't know if that change will be better than our current reality. Funny how we stick to that reality even though we're unhappy.
Shannon Hughes says
I agree with Anon- you should consider looking for jobs in NYC and maybe take a trip there! As an urbanite myself, I love hearing about realestate! Keep us updated if move forward with that plan 🙂
Melissa Blake says
Katy, that sounds perfect — especially the peaceful home!
Melissa Blake says
Jessi — go see the movie NOW! 🙂
Melissa Blake says
Thanks for the questions about my aspirations. I'd love to answer thme in a post about my day-to-day life with a physical disability. Look for that soon… xoxo
Anonymous says
Perhaps Mel living with her parents is a wise idea. She will need to save all she can if she is really determined to live in NYC. I used to pay $98,600/year in co-op maintenance fees. And I needed the Babel Fish translator to talk to the super! WTF!?! If you are going to rape me on maintenance fees at least speak the damn language!!!
Anon from Canada, services like you spoke of are handled by the state. And it takes a year to establish residency. That means Mel would have to pay for her own caregiver (if she needs one) out of pocket in the interim. And even when she qualifies, she will be put on a waiting list.
Dancing Branflake, video conferencing and email has rendered FTF "connections" obsolete. Mel can live anywhere and still be connected to the NYC office. I do. That's why I no longer live in that s**t hole with $20 hamburgers and traffic jams at 2am.