Let’s just get this out of the way right now: I’ve never been on a date., let alone a first date. We’ve established that before, but I thought it best to keep you informed of any changes — or lack thereof.
I’m learning to be OK with it too — this whole no-table-for-two-experience. I mean, it’s not like it comes up very often in everyday conversation; it’s not the kind of tidbit you slip into the office conversation, saying, “Hey, I’ve never been on a date,” between a deep discussion of last night’s episode of the Bachelor and gossip about the new intern. It’s just not not the sort of thing that comes up.
I never used to feel this way, though. Maybe I was even ashamed of it, as if it was something I had to work so desperately hard to hide. No one could ever find out my secret. I even thought that everything would be perfect if I could just go on that first date — then, I’d know those feelings I’d heard people talk about. You know, those awkward butterflies. The stolen glances. The accidental arm brush.
But you see, that’s the beauty of the whole thing, I think. Not having been on a first date yet gives me a sort of clean slate. It can be anything I want it to be. And when I think about it like that, I know those butterflies, glances and arm brushes will happen for me. Eventually. When the time is right.
And when you think about it, maybe it’s not so much about the date itself than it is about the person you’re with. You could be eating atop the Eiffel Tower, but if the person is a rude, conversation hog, the date is just going to be plain awful. But if you’re with someone who makes you feel relaxed and wants to get to know you, even if you’re stuvk at the movie theater because of a blizzard, chances are that the hours won’t seem to tick by so slowly.
So, friends, I’d love to know: What was your first date like? How old were you? What’s your idea of a perfect date now? What was the best date you’ve ever been on? What made it so special? Did you learn anything about yourself from the date? Let’s chat! xoxo
P.S. Have you heard of the 3-hour rule? Thoughts? 🙂
[Top chart via I Love Charts, other photos via Le Love]
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April says
my first 'date' was when i was thirteen. i say 'date' because things obviously weren't serious! it was just walking around the park, talking and enjoying each other's company. we were already friends and knew each other well enough to keep up a conversation so it was good for a first date. my favorite dates are the ones where you're just talking to the other person doing something fun. i always get to know a guy and become friends before dating so just hanging out is the best!
Anonymous says
I was a week shy of 24 when I went on my first date, which went great – coffee, then dinner, then met up with a few of his friends. I really loved our second date though. We'd forgotten it was Thanksgiving and were disappointed we'd have to cancel our date, but then decided to go out to a really late movie. I found out later he drove like 2 hours from a relative's house to come pick me up. The movie was terrrrible but it was so exciting sitting next to him in that theater. My first date was all about being fearless, with my family & friends rooting me on, but our 2nd date was when I really noticed I liked him a lot! Ah, nice memories. That was 3 years ago. We're still together 🙂
Your first date will be AWESOME because you'll be thinking "I'm doing it!!"
Melissa Blake says
Ahhh, those two dates sound perfect!!! When you look at the date as just an opportunity to get to know someone, it probably takes a lot of the pressure off. 🙂
Shaylynn;) says
Wellllllllllll… My first date.. Oh… I am going to be an epic failure and confess.. I don't remember it:)
My ex-fiance & I had the worlds WORST first date. I remember counting down the minutes until it was over. But I ended up falling in love with him, 15 dates laterish. Then falling out of love.. Remembering our awful first date helped me a great deal with that.
My best first date ever, was frozen yogurt & getting to know him on a park bench. Perfect.
I dread dating. I've canceled all of my dates since September. ALL OF THEM. Its a problem.
Puput says
My best date was last month. Actually I don't know if I can say it a date because we're not a couple like bf and gf. We just said that we love each other. We spent days together and those were the best days I ever had. Now, he lives far away and we continue our dating on chat. 🙂
Spencer and Michelle says
First date ..hmmm. I was 16 and it was a school Valentine's Day dance. He brought me a teddy bear. We ended up dating for 10 months. What I learned about myself was that I wanted to end up with someone fun and easy going. He was a nice guy, but was too serious. The best date I've ever been on was with my husband. We'd been dating a year and he took me to the beach in the evening. He had some candles set up, a Wendy's cheeseburger, a carton of ice cream with two spoons and a blanket. He brought his guitar too and we sang some songs and just hung out. My ideal date now… well I have a little one at home, so anything that is getting out with my husband alone is ideal! Even if its just to the grocery store!
Thanks for stopping by my blog Melissa and commenting. Always love to see new readers! Come back anytime!
Drama Queen #1 says
I'm actually about to go on my first date this Friday! Dancing… Should be super exciting :^)
Wendy @ Salt and Wine says
I cannot wait to hear about your first date, Melissa, I have no doubt it will be amazing! 🙂
In all honesty my "very first date" wasn't all that but "my very first date with John", my Bf of 4 years was! We met through an online dating site and only talked via email and phone for the first month. On April 25th, I primped like there was no tomorrow. Mani, pedi, tanned, bleached my teeth, plucked, waxed, shaved… ETC. I put together a cute but casual outfit gave myself the once over in the mirror and, around 10:00 pm sent him a text asking if he was free to meet up. Thank goodness he answered because all of that primping would have been for nothing. We met face to face for the first time in front of our local movie theater. Like something out of a movie, he pulled up on his motorcycle, we awkwardly greeted each other and then I got on the back of his bike and we rode over to Denny's (of all places) where we sat until 5 in the morning, sharing a slice of apple pie ala mode (that we never really ate, just nervously poked at) , exchanged shy eye contact and got to know each other. When it came time to say goodbye there was major (good) tension on both parts. Instead of waiting for a kiss, like a dork, I nervously shook his hand and thanked him for a nice night. As soon as I got home, I emailed him to reiterate how much I enjoyed our date. He responded within minutes. We went out the next night and shared our first kiss, which, literally, made my knees week. We've been together ever since. 🙂
The Blonde Duck says
The only first date I care about was the one with Ben. WE went to Old School. 🙂
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Anonymous says
Let's get you on an internet dating site so you can have that first date!
Grace Martin says
Okay my first date… I was fifteen at a youth group meeting when I mentioned how much I wanted to go see a particular movie. That night I got a text from a friend that I had known my whole life asking me if I would go with him. He came and picked me up and we headed over. We were the only people in the whole theater. I was absolutely panicked when he put his arm around me and wasn't quite sure what to do. As the previews started to roll he leaned over and whispered in my ear that he really liked me, and hoped that I would be willing to go out with him again when he got back from Japan in 13 days. I was completely over the moon. There were butterflies, sure. But they were all worth it. 🙂
Just M says
I don't even rememember my first date. But then again, I am approaching 38 and that was many years ago. To not remember it, I am thinking that it wasn't all that great or I just blocked it out. I seemed to have gone from 0 to high speed really quickly back then and things have changed a lot now.
My idea of a good date now is pretty simple. A nice dinner and conversation. No movies, because you can't talk or get to know one another. No one seems to go on dates anymore.
I can't wait for you to have your firse one though!
Kim (A Very Sweet Blog) says
Mine was in high school. I think it was to the movies. I was so giddy to go out with this guy. We ended up dating throughout the rest of high school. We broke up though in college. HAHAHA I've had both good and bad first dates. It's a mixed bag of feelings for me.
http://averysweetblog.com/
Anarchist Girl Scout says
Lordy, go on a date. Don't hold the whole 'first date' thing in such high esteem. The only date that really matters is the next one . . . life's too short to sit at home.
Anonymous says
I have to agree with the Girl Scout. You are too fixated on the "first time" you'll get to do something. If you just do it already then you'd eliminate all of the stress that you're causing yourself.
Kathy S says
My first date was when I was 16. It was extremely awkward. My favorite date was a trip to the zoo I took with my (now) husband when we first starting dating.
Melissa Blake says
I love all these sweet stories!! 🙂
karensmith says
I love reminiscing about first dates. It brings me back to the time when I met my husband.
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