Dear Mr. Melissa Blake:
I don’t know where people find interesting pieces of advice wherever we are now, but back here in the winter of 2011, you could always count on a little thing called Twitter to provide you with some food for thought — albeit sometimes silly food for thought. But I did find a little gem last week that got me thinking…
My last relationship was awful. But the IDEA of the relationship was incredible.
In our minds, the idea of a relationship sounds perfect, doesn’t it? You meet someone you feel a connection with, and you start romanticizing what could be. The future is whatever you want it to be, you think. It’s incredible. It’s intoxicating, even. True, it may be a tad bit unrealistic, but there is something to that, though, isn’t there, about the idea of a relationship? I don’t think anyone goes into a relationship with malicious intent. You go into it with only the best of intentions, don’t you? You don’t mean any harm to anyone. Why would you go into it with some sort of ulterior motive? You want it to work out. After all, you want to be happy. You want both of you to be happy.
I’m sure I’ve told you how many times I’ve been guilty of this, Sweetpea. Maybe I was even guilty of it a time or two when we first started dating. Heck, I’ve even been known to do this whole future-thinking-fantasizing-romanticizing thing with potential beaus. Just the idea of a romance, just thinking about the other person (whether they even knew I was alive or not…) was enough to get my head racing and my heart pumping. It was all perfect in my head, like some perfectly orchestrated opera where everyone knows their lines and says all the right things at the right time and in exactly the right way. Everything is, well, perfect.
It’s just in the translation to real life that the lines get blurred. There’s some sort of accident somewhere, a break in the wires. So what goes wrong in that journey from the head to real life? That perfect opera? Someone forgot their lines, throwing everyone else off.
But maybe these perfect, as-delicate-as-glass, watch-out-for-shattering sorts of relationships simply can’t exist outside our heads. So they have to stay there. In our heads. Forever. Because trying to give them life in the real would would only kill them that much sooner.
I’m guessing I’m going to need someone (hint: you) to keep my head out of the clouds. I’m going to want to believe that what I’ve dreamed up in my head can happen perfectly in real life. I trust that you’ll bring me back down to Earth, no matter how absurd I get. Do we have a deal, Sweetpea? Until we meet… xoxo
P.S. Don’t forget to enter the massive KOKOON giveaway! You’ve got until Friday to enter! 🙂
[Photos via Le Love]