Women’s Heath magazine recently asked this question on its Web site: Is monogamy negotiable?
Honestly, monogamy and negotiable don’t even belong in the same sentence. They’re like magnets that repel each other. There are certain things in life that lend themselves easily to negotiation. Shopping at flea markets. Buying a car. Choosing a restaurant for dinner. Making plans for the weekend. Those things are negotiable.
Love is most definitely not one of those things. Because love isn’t something you can negotiate. You can’t turn it off and on whenever you please like a light switch, your feelings magically disappearing and reappearing at regularly timed intervals.
Besides, if you’re allowing room for negotiation in relationships, isn’t that really just the same thing as a no-string-attached love affair? We all know how well those turn out (cue sarcasm….). Someone always ends up getting emotionally attached (that would probably be me). Someone always ends up falling for the other (that would most likely be me). And someone always has trouble admitting their feelings to the other person (that would most definitely be me).
You can’t choose to be monogamous when it suits you. It’s one of those refreshingly black-and-white things: Either you commit to another person or you don’t. It’s as easy as that. In love – and in life – you should never stand for anything less than you deserve. Do you really think you deserve to be someone’s sloppy seconds?
What about you, friends? Is monogamy something you’d ever negotiate? How do you feel about couples who do? How would you define negotiate? What does it mean to you? Let’s chat! xoxo
[Photos via Le Love]
Fit With Flash says
preach, homey! : )
I don't know how I could even be in a relationship with someone who would CONSIDER cheating. I know without a doubt that my husband would never EVER cheat on me. I don't know how it could ever be negotiated. But, to each their own.
So true and so well said, Melissa!
No, it's non negotiable. For the couples that have no issues staying together but allowing each other personal freedoms- I say to each their own… It's just not for me.
Melissa Blake says
The way i see it, someone will always get hurt. if someone really cares about you, he will only care about YOU! 🙂
Kristin H says
There is no negotiations in my world, I could have never gone through the pain it gives.
Have a lovely evening!
Kathy S says
I actually have good friends that are married and they both sleep with other people. And they are happier than ever. I guess it can work in some situations, but definitely not in all relationships.
Depends on the relationship, but it's not for me. Emotions aside, would you really want to worry about disease of the week?
I know a ton of people who are very polyamorous relationships who are very happy. Not saying it would ever be for me, I want to have just one love, in that way, in my life.
I totally agree…especially for me, personally. I would never be happy in a polygamous relationship. You can't have your cake and eat it too.
Christina Marie says
Neva, eva! Those words would never enter into a convo in my relationship. Cheat? And they're out! No negotiations! 🙂
No. Definitely not negotiable.
definitely not for me EVER, but if it's works for some, that's fine with me.
Punctuation Mark says
non-negotiable… unless i meet Gerard Butler… hahaha!!!
Melissa Blake says
same goes for me, now that you mention it, punctuation…only in my case, the guy would be jake gyllenhaal! 🙂
Just M says
Monogamy is not negotiable.
When it comes to love, true love, when your heart wants something, it will keep wanting it until it no longer does. I just went through that and no matter how hard I tried, I was still in love with someone who also was in love with me but we could not be together. I never believed that was possible but I learned a new lesson. Even when we weren't together, my heart wanted only him and no one else could or would compare. I was still monogomous.