Dear Mr. Melissa Blake:
Yikes! I can’t help but think I might, quite possibly have jinxed something here. Not even one week after I posted about my connection to Kim Kardashian’s wedding, news breaks that she’s filed for divorce after just 72 days of marriage. Now, Sweetpea, I know the Kardashian family tends to be a hot-button issue for America: People either love them or hate them. But no matter where your feelings lie, you can’t help but feel sorry for someone when a marriage ends. (well, that is if no cheating was involved…)
All your dreams, all your hopes for a future – a future that included another person – is dashed in about the same amount of time it takes to say the phrase “I do.”
I honestly feel sorry for Kim. Because, as I said before, Sweetpea, I can see a lot of myself in her. We’re both romantics who wear our hearts openly on our sleeves. We hold tight to that notion of forever with every fiber of our being, refusing to settle for anything less. We believe in love, even when it appears to lie to us, offer us false and empty promises and just doesn’t live up to that happily-ever-after ending. At the end of the day, we still hold onto hope for that love we’ve always been looking for.
Knowing me, Sweetpea, you can bet I won’t let Kim’s divorce go by without taking a lesson or two with me. Translation: Questions. Questions about us. Questions about our relationship. Questions about what we want for our future, both as people and as a couple. That’s why I’ve come up with 3 key questions that I want us to answer honestly and truthfully ask before we take those big, adult steps down the aisle.
What is our relationship based on?
This is probably something we discussed early in our relationship, but if we’re not in this relationship for the right reasons, I can guarantee that we’re not going to last. On the top of my list? Love and trust should be a priority.
Can we imagine our lives together 50 years from now? And not get nauseous?
If you don’t want to be with me forever, I assume you cut the chord before things got too deep. Or maybe I did. My grandparents had more than 30 years of retirement together, and I want ours to be filled with happiness. We may be reduced to eating prunes and our only excitement is an episode of Jeopardy, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be romantic.
Do we share some of the same hobbies?
I’m all for opposites attract, but we need to have some things in common. It’s incredibly sexy when you can relate to another person. The same thing applies to what we want out of life. If we’re not on the same page about career goals, family ideals, etc., we’re going to have some trouble.
Sometimes I wonder what it will be like to actually sit next to each other, look at each other, and answer these questions. I’ll probably stutter because I’m so nervous, and you’ll probably make me blush with your intense gaze. Or maybe I’ll catch you off guard with my answers…I guess I should just warn you now, then: My answers are going to blow your mind. You’d better get ready, Sweetpea.
I also love what my parents did before they got married: They met with the minister from my mother’s church a few times. This is a pretty genius idea if you ask me, Sweetpea — a sort of pre-marriage marriage counseling, if you will. What do you think of that? I can imagine us sitting in some calm setting talking open and honestly about our feelings. If you think about it, it could be romantic. Or maybe that’s just me. Until we meet… xoxo
[Photo via Le Love