MEMO TO MEN: The vulnerability lesson

TO: Men all over the planet
FROM: Melissa
RE: Go ahead…ask.
DATE: October 17, 2011
Can I get to know you better?

It’s just 7 words. It’s just one question. And it’s the chorus to a song by one of my favorite 60s groups The Turtles. It probably sounds crazy to you, boys, but this is the sexiest pick-up line if you ask me. The hands-down, blows-away-the-competition sexiest. When you think about it, is there really anything more genuine than simply asking someone if you can get to know them? There’s something so innocently sexy about that question that would probably make me want to take my heart right off my sleeve and give it to you.

Maybe I’m so moved by this question because of the little fence I’ve noticed building up since my father’s death. Granted, it’s not a huge wall, but it nonetheless has made me a bit closed off at times, afraid to get close to anyone and even more afraid of getting hurt again. But this question? If you just came up to me, smiled and asked, “Can I get to know you better…?” Something tells me it would tear down that fence just a little bit, as if gently telling me that you’re a good guy.
I’m not naïve. I know being vulnerable means taking a leap without knowing where you’ll land or even if you’re strapped to a parachute. But I’d rather take a leap in the hopes of discovering the real you than resigning myself with being content to hold a stranger’s hand for the rest of my life.

Because when it comes down to it, boys, I want to get to know the real you too. I don’t want to get to know some version you think I want to meet. I do want to get to know you — only you and all of you.
Think about it: What if we were to strip everything away, scratching and unwrapping layer after superficial layer away? What would we see? Would we even be able to recognize ourselves anymore?

So, go ahead and ask me, boys, if you can get to know me better. And what will I say in return?

“What do want to know?” xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It and Audrey Hepburn Complex]


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Comments

  2. Anonymous says

    Can I ask you a few honest questions?

    Is there nothing positive and fun at all about your relationships with men? Do you have any male friends that you have absolutely no interest in physically but that you still love to hang-out with? You can learn a lot about men that way. I know that male friendships can be fraught with emotional risk – there is always a fear that one of you will fall for the other and it won’t be reciprocated, but such is life.

    If you do have enjoyable platonic relationships with men, let’s hear about them! What do you love about having male friends? How did you get to know them? What common interests do you share? What makes them such good friends? What do you value and appreciate about them and what do they value and appreciate about you?

    Reply

  6. Debby says

    That is truly a question that every woman wants to be asked. I think we all want to feel as if someone is interested in more than just knowing the outer surface but that someone could really know our hearts and cherish every little thing about us, good and bad. Beautifully said Melissa! xo

    Reply

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