YourTango recently asked this question on their Facebook page. Now, friends, it seemed like an easy enough question to me. In fact, the answer seemed obvious. I was pretty sure I had an idea of what people were going to say. But then I started reading the 96 comments to that very question. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. That word was beginning to make me nauseous, giving me that feeling I get in the pit of my stomach when I’ve eaten too many pieces of Halloween candy corn. It’s not pleasant, trust me, friends. Why? Because I’ve never cared much for those sorts of extremes, those ideas that you can be one or the other, but never, under any circumstances, both. So often, we’re taught that if you’re gorgeous, you can’t possibly have brains, and if you have brains, then you must not have inherited the beauty gene. Maybe it’s just me, but the ultimate in sexy is when you can be both and be comfortable in those shoes. 
I did love this comment, though: “Smart – most guys will go for stunning, but any man with brains will go for smart.” And a comment advocating gorgeousness above all else? Well, let’s just say it knocked my socks off, especially when you read it without correcting the spelling or punctuation: “stunningly gorgeous and average smart (or a bit above average) Studies have shown that the better looking you are the more advanteges you have however there’s a threshold-cross that and people feel uncomfortable around you.”
That, my friends, just proves my point. Being gorgeous is definitely not as sexy as being smart.
What about you? Would you rather be gorgeous or smart? Both? Do you think it’s harder for men or women to be both? Let’s chat, friends! xoxo
[Photos via Le Love]
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Jessi Haish says
smart people can figure out how to be gorgeous. that doesn't work the other way around.. 😉
Jake and Megan says
i like how you mention that although beautiful people may have more opportunities, people may feel less comfortable around them. and isn't that what life is about? connecting? and what kind of opportunities are these? opportunities to be treated like an object? to be viewed as a trophy?
a couple of years ago this research methods class in the psyc department at my school did a study where they recruited (i think just male) psyc 101 students to be interviewed by one of two interviewers. one interviewer was average in appearance without extra care to her physical appearance. the other fit standard societal expectations of beauty.
the majority of participants chose the former of the two, the less "attractive" one. when later asked about this, participants reported that it was because they felt uncomfortable by the "hot" one.
i've always kind of been, although not always, grateful that i don't fit society's ideals of beauty because i feel like i'm more likely to be accepted for who i am, just as i am.
Shia says
Gorgeous is fleeting like an hourglass…smart lasts forever! Besides if you're smart…you know you can be both!
♥ Shia
Anonymous says
Why do we have to pit one against the other? I think that every time a survey like this comes out and people rush to cast their ballots, we just end up entrenching sexist beliefs about what it means to be beautiful or intelligent. I tend to ignore these types of ridiculous quizzes because all they do is encourage people to judge others based on their appearances. I also tend to forgive people's spelling and grammar mistakes on the internet. English is not everybody's first language, but that doesn't mean they aren't intelligent. After all, it's what's inside that matters. Isn't that what you always say Melissa?
Stephanie says
My first thought was smart. But then when I really thought about it I started second guessing myself. I would definitely still pick smart, but I think if I had to choose the choice might be harder than I'd care to admit.
Shani says
I would choose to be smart. I refused to lose my ability to reason just to look pretty for a short amount of time.
I prefer quirky features and smarts anyway. I'm also a Sapiosexual, so maybe that's why.
Barbara says
Gorgeous or smart? Hmm. Depends on the day. Sometimes I revel in the fact that I'm intelligent and don't give a hoot about what I look like. At other times, I would trade in my smarts for a while to experience "stunningly beautiful". Why not? I want it all. 🙂
Physical attractiveness, however, is a transient thing. During the second half of life, external beauty fades, and it becomes a level playing field. That's when intelligence eclipses beauty.
When all is said and done, I'm happy with who I am. Pretty (but not gorgeous) and smart (but not a genius). Middle of the road. It works. 🙂
Annie Dog says
Jessi Haish, your comment sums everything up. Well put 🙂
Alexa says
I like what Jessi said as well. Being smart translates into being gorgeous. 🙂
Anonymous says
Smart.
My boyfriend fell for my looks before he fell for my personality. Understandable, because you can see a person right away, but it takes a while to get to know a person! I suppose I could say the same about my feelings toward him, as we started out dating as strangers.
Anyway, for that gap before he got to really know me, it felt kinda uncomfortable to be judged based on my looks.
I have always tended to think that very attractive men are jerks because they can "afford" to be. A pretty unfair way of thinking! Not all attractive people are shallow; not all less attractive people have amazing personalities. It's pretty much a random roll of the dice and besides, beauty is absolutely in the eye of the beholder. 🙂
Anonymous says
I'd rather be happy…
Faith says
Smart! Being "gorgeous" is relative. Anyone can achieve it.
Melissa Blake says
Last Anon — YES!! Happiness is so important too! xoxo
Anonymous says
@Faith:
Being 'smart' is also fairly relative; seems like most people define it at right at their own level of intelligence, and 'too smart' is often anything significantly above that!
Patricia Villamil says
Well, that's easy: smart, ten times smart than gorgeous. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Smart is not. Or not always, anyway. Thanks for your sweet comment in my post,and for following me. See you around!
Poppies and Sunshine says
Very interesting question. I believe a person can definitely have both, but being smart is definitely more important. Brains is what can make a person successful in life. Being smart makes life more enriching and is something that will last an entire lifetime!
Just M says
Hmmm…smart for sure. But I can see where someone who is not a fortunate looking as others could want to choose the looks. I remember when I was in high school, all I ever wanted to be was pretty. I was too busy trying to be someone else's version of pretty to understand my own looks.
Years later, I still don't see the beauty others see, but now, I'm smart and pretty. Sometimes a double edged sword. But I wouldn't give up my brains. There isn't much that I hate more than a stupid pretty girl. Looks fade.
ToddLKtB says
Very interesting question. I believe a person can definitely have both, but being smart is definitely more important. Brains is what can make a person successful in life. Being smart makes life more enriching and is something that will last an entire lifetime!