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Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Letters To My Future Husband: Letter #128.

Dear Mr. Melissa Blake:
Well, hello there. I do apologize for the lack of letters in the last few months, Sweetpea. I’m sure we will have talked all about these last few months eventually (who knows, we could actually be talking about them right now…), but needless to say, they were some of the most confusing months of my life. And now, in June 2011, while I’m not fully back to my feisty self, I have a little of my spunk back. What’s that? You didn’t know there was a time when I wasn’t spunky? Well that makes me smile.

It’s weird to think that years from now, this time in my life will only be a distant memory. I feel as though my mind is trying to process so many different emotions and feelings right now. They all demand front-row-seat attention, and honestly, it can be tiring trying to deal with all of them. I went to a party over the weekend, and even though I had a great time, I just couldn’t shake the feeling of being different from everyone else there. Remember the days when I used to love being different, Sweetpea? The days when I wanted to stand out from the crowd more than anything in the world? I feel like now I’m scrambling to rebuild that sense of self-confidence that I’ve lost. Everyone talked about their lives and jobs, and I just felt as if I didn’t measure up somehow. Am I a 50-year-old in a 29-year-old’s body and having some sort of midlife crisis? I once had such a strong sense of self and my purpose in this world. Life throws you some funny curves sometimes, doesn’t it?
I know, I know. Nobody really ever feels like they truly fit in. And nobody really ever feels like they have everything in their life all figured out. How did you deal with these feeligs, Sweetpea? I think, when it comes down to it, that I’m finally experiencing all those growing pains I didn’t experience in my teens when my peers did. All the wondering who you are. All the questioning about the future (Oh, did I ever mention that I have a tendency to worry about the future? Well, I do…). But maybe I need to just stop trying to figure everything out. I’m trying to put myself on some sort of arbitrary time-table that is just that – arbitrary. Have I stopped doing that by the time we meet? Gosh, I hope so! Until we meet…

[Photos via Le Love]

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15 Comments Filed Under: Disability, Letters to my future husband, Uncategorized


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Comments

  1. Jen says

    Wednesday, June 22, 2011 at 7:34 pm

    I've missed these!! Beautifully written my dear.

    Quote Prints

    Reply
  2. KT @ KT's Refinishing School says

    Wednesday, June 22, 2011 at 7:44 pm

    I'm so glad you shared another Future Husband letter! I've really missed reading them and love the way you write with such obvious love and care for a person you haven't met yet (or maybe you have and don't know it yet) 🙂 Great to have this series (and you) back!

    Reply
  3. Melissa Blake says

    Wednesday, June 22, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    Thanks, Jen and KT! 🙂

    Reply
  4. Couture Carrie says

    Wednesday, June 22, 2011 at 7:49 pm

    Beautiful post, darling!

    xoxox,
    CC

    Reply
  5. Melissa Blake says

    Wednesday, June 22, 2011 at 7:49 pm

    p.s. kt, it's funny to think i may have met him already!

    Reply
  6. Melisande says

    Thursday, June 23, 2011 at 5:11 am

    yay! i love love love these letters and was JUST thinking about when i'd get to read another one…i recently blogged about how i first got to know the blogging world, and there's a little shout out to you and these letters. the first night i stumbled upon your blog, i stayed up for hours reading every letter out loud to my boyfriend.
    as usual, this letter is beautifully written and so honest.

    Reply
  7. ~Azucar~ says

    Thursday, June 23, 2011 at 6:48 am

    I am glad you have started writing these letters again <3 I really enjoy them… thank you ^_^

    Reply
  8. Jessi Haish says

    Thursday, June 23, 2011 at 3:51 pm

    Missed these so much – absolutely beautiful.

    Reply
  9. the lil bee says

    Friday, June 24, 2011 at 1:05 am

    I hope you are feeling better today:) I love the back photographs, too!

    Reply
  10. The National Benefit Authority says

    Friday, June 24, 2011 at 9:48 am

    Beautiful letter!!It's really nice, I like it, thanks for sharing such a great post….

    Reply
  11. Melissa Blake says

    Friday, June 24, 2011 at 8:28 pm

    Awww, thanks, melisande! That means so much to me!! 🙂

    I'm glad you all liked this one!

    Reply
  12. Hollie says

    Sunday, June 26, 2011 at 3:53 am

    Melissa, I can't even tell you how happy I am to read this!! You have such a spark and you're such an inspiration. I'm glad that spark is rearing its head again around here. :]

    Reply
  13. crowdSPRING says

    Sunday, July 10, 2011 at 9:56 am

    Well it feels glad to read your blogs..No doubts it was touched one..Thanks for sharing your feelings with us..So nice of you to do this..I like this type of blog..Hope you will continue to post such type of post in future also…

    Reply
  14. WFG Women says

    Sunday, July 31, 2011 at 10:16 am

    What a nice blog..Really enjoyed it..Really great..I like this type of blog..Hope you will continue to post such type of post in future also..

    Reply
  15. Kripaluji Maharaj says

    Monday, November 21, 2011 at 11:54 am

    Impeccable letter, I loved reading it and the sweet-pee was the sweetest word i found up there. The content, perception and words were so perfect!

    Reply

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So About What I Said is a daily blog that covers relationships, disabilities, lifestyle and pop culture. I love to laugh and have been known to overshare. I also have an unabashed obsession with pop music, polo shirts, and PEZ dispensers. Read more...

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