Dear Depression:The time has come. Actually, it probably should have come a long, long time ago. Months, even. But maybe I wasn’t ready a few months ago. Maybe I hadn’t found the strength yet. Whatever the reason, I’ve realized something: You’re the problem. Not me. For so long, you’ve made me feel so small, as if I didn’t even matter. You’ve hurt me in ways I never thought possible. You’ve sucked a piece of my heart and my life out of me. You’ve made me feel like I can’t do anything. You’ve brought me to tears more times than I care to count.
And all the while, I just keep thinking…why? Because I let you. You’ve entered my life. I can’t change or control that. I know that. But what I can control is how I react to you. And I know I haven’t been reacting to you in the right way – the way that is going to help me see the light on the other side of the darkness you’ve cast over my life. You’ve been like an anchor around my neck, pulling me down farther and farther. Now, I won’t pretend that I have all my strength back because I still feel you with me (unfortunately…), but I can take some of the pressure of myself, can’t I? Like my mom says, I can tell myself that I am doing the best I can where I am at the moment. Maybe if I stop trying to be in control so much, if I stop trying to be everything and do everything and have everything all figured out, your grip on me won’t have such power over me. It’s something to think about, isn’t it?
[Photos via Audrey Hepburn Complex]
L!$@ says
You can do it. What an honest post!
Sunrise Love says
you have a so lovely blog!
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inspration-with-sunrise.blogspot.com
Dancing Branflake says
Yes! This is such an amazing and empowering post. Kick it in the butt. You are awesome.
Melissa Blake says
Thanks, dancing. I keep telling myself that over and over!
KT @ KT's Refinishing School says
Yay Melissa!
Have you read Eat, Pray, Love? She has a passage in there about depression and loneliness and personifies them as people very well. This post reminded me a lot of that…you can do it!
Serge Luc says
Hello,
I'm depression, probably not yours. I don't know, Creative Commons, whatever. Thank you. Your words prove that I still exist. That's always a problem for me to prove that. To be honest, I cannot express myself unless someone else express me… It hurts but I'd like to be. To be or not to be. Sorry, I'm fading, again thank youuuuuu.
Iris Jaye says
Despite what you feel, Melissa, I think you are beautifully strong and persistent.
WebVisible says
This is such an amazing and empowering post.You are awesome.
Penelope IL GATTO SELVATICO says
I hope you will feel better soon!
Cicily says
Thank-you, Melissa. Depression can be a very lonely thing. I do hope that somehow you can feel all the love that we, your readers and friends, are sending you.
Diana Troldahl says
Thank you for that. It applies in so many ways to things happening in my own life.
(((hugs)))
Pepe Fanjul says
This is such an amazing and empowering post. Kick it in the butt. You are awesome.
Ryan Adair says
I feel like I have written this very letter over and over again myself.