It seems like my fears have been multiplying this week, friends. And these fears are making me feel paralyzed. I’ve been trying to push these thoughts out of my head like a balloon, but they always seem to return, stronger and more powerful than ever. The thing is, I don’t know how to shut my mind off. My brain seems to be locked in high gear, and I can’t slow it down. I still can’t seem to concentrate on much, and this scares me. I’m also still having trouble writing – how can something that used to come so natural to me suddenly seem like an impossible task?
It’s also so hard to put my feelings into words. The only way I know how to describe it right now is that I can’t think. My mind seems even more foggy, and one of my biggest fears is that the fog is never going to lift. My mind used to be so clear, and now it’s just all muddled. I just keep saying how much I want my life back – all the joy and happiness that I used to know and love. I know healing from depression takes time, and maybe I’m being impatient. I tend to get like that sometimes. I want things to come instantaneously, but with depression, I’m realizing that’s not going to happen. But isn’t it natural to want to get rid of feelings that are so foreign to you as quickly and swiftly as possible?
Thanks for listening this week, friends.
[Photo via We Heart It]