I’ve had a tough time of it these past few days. I’ve been feeling more depressed and more anxious, and for the life of me, I can’t figure out why. My thinking is still foggy too, which has been frustrating, to say the least. I feel like my mind isn’t even working sometimes. It’s so easy to say, “Oh, it’s just the depression,” but it’s quite another to feel it in your heart and actually believe it. My heart just doesn’t seem to want to catch up to my head for some reason.
I’m scared, actually. I’m scared the depression is going to take hold again and pull me down. I’m scared I’m never again going to be the person I used to be. I’ve lost interest in so many hobbies and activities that I once enjoyed, and that in itself scares me to no end. Will I ever like those things again? It’s like everything I’ve ever known has been thrown upside, and nothing ever seems to make sense. I just want to scream to the depression, “Give me my life back,” and magically have everything right with the world again.
Thanks for listening today, friends! xoxo
[Photo via Just Be Splendid]
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Jodie Eileen ツ says
Grab hold of the hope you have, Melissa. Grab hold of it and multiply it greatly. I believe you can get through this tuff situation and be able to get back to where you once were: happy, creative, and wonderful. True happiness comes from accepting the love of Jesus Christ. He already loves you, but to feel it, you've got to accept it. He's always there, dear. Waiting for you to grab hold of his outstreatched hand! xoxo
Trish is a Dish says
I can totally relate
Pet Care Rx Reviews says
I believe you can get through this tuff situation and be able to get back to where you once were: happy, creative, and wonderful.
va says
Oh Melissa , this is depression just grabbing a hold of you . Try to be around more people who you trust and can talk to . Don't keep anything inside . Write a journal and try to pray if you do that if not just do things to make you truly feel a bit better . Go out when you are feeling down , try to take walks with a friend , keep yourself busy in doing things you enjoy etc.
Exercise is very important and lets out depression . Practice doing yoga with a group of people or some other form you enjoy like dancing etc.
hope this helps Melissa
plz feel free to say hi or send me a note anytime . I have been there .
Erin {pughs' news} says
I don't know what to say, Melissa, except that I'm thinking of you. And I think you're doing the right thing, talking/writing about it, and wanting things to be different. Fight it! And let the people who love you help.
Amy says
I've been feeling that way, too. Everytime it happens, I think I'll never be better again, but eventually the fog lifts and it feels great when it does! Hang in there!
JC says
Hey Melissa, Ive gone through a lot of rough times with my relationship and my health the past couple of years. I know the feeling you have. I was starting to get real depressed and moody lately myself. I think part of it might be from the new medications Im on for pain and high blood pressure. But I told my rheumatologist that I needed something because I felt like I was going to come out of my skin. Ive been taking effexor 37.5 mg a day for a few weeks now and I do feel better. I was skeptical about it because I took 75mg a day of Effexor a year ago along with zoloft. It had seemed to make me more jittery. My doc said thats cause zoloft and effexor mixed can increase anxiety. So…Im not sure what kind of meds you take now but….something could be interacting and making you more depressed. If you havent started any kind of new meds in the last 6 months then its probably not any kind of interaction causing it. I do recommend the effexor though. It seems to be helping me with all the other meds on im on. This is my only antidepressant im taking though. I do take diazepam (valium)also, but that was originally prescribed to help keep my blood pressure down. I also take on a daily basis….methyldopa and labetalol for blood pressure, hydrocodone, tizanidine for pain, and 81mg aspirin to help thin my blood because I have high platelets for some unknown reason. I think all those meds I had started about 5 months ago were aggravating depression. So definitely talk to you best doctor that is most helpful to you about a good antidepressant. If you are already on something or a combination of them, you might want to research side effects and check for drug interactions on the internet. Definitely call your doctor tomorrow and tell him or her you really need something. I hope you feel better soon 🙂 And try to do something that makes you happy and can take your mind off the depression.
Anna Walker says
You're amazing. You're strong and you're going to get through this although, the "getting through this" part is going to be such a hard path for you.
My friend has depression and it was such a long road to get where he is today, and he's still not there all the way. Please just remember that you're loved, that so many people love you and that you're strong enough to get through this!
Melissa Blake says
Thanks, everyone! You comments do make me feel better. 🙂
Jenny says
stay strong, girl! Praying for you.
Oh, My Darling says
Melissa, I've been thinking of what to say to you in the comments here, but whatever words of support and positivity that I try to put together ends up feeling trite, upon thinking of the challenges you're encountering. Thank you for being so open in your blog posts — your honesty is an attribute that will help to carry you along as you approach recovery.
va says
Hey Melissa ,
happy to know you feel a bit better .
Keep in mind to exercise so you feel better since it has done wonders for me . Before I didn't exercise I stayed in the house all day and was afraid to take walks on my own but now that I have joined this ladies Sampoorna yoga group here in India , it has made me more self confident and happy with others and myself . youtube also has lots of videos on yoga and one of my fave singers is Sia . Lullaby by Sia is a nice song . Hugs and lots of support to you .
Do stay strong because only you can make feel better . Try to smile when you down and watch some comedy movies .
Vickie, a distant relative says
I've been away from your blog for awhile. I'm so sorry to come back and find you feeling depressed.
What can I say to help?
It's great you're writing about the depression (after all, you are a blogger), but find ways to focus on something else in your moment-to-moment daily life.
You are by now aware that this is more easily said than done.
Start small.
Take the time to marvel at a daffodil.
Play a goofy game.
Meet a friend for lunch.
Remember that your brain lives in your body. Treat your body nicely.
Again, start small.
Go outside and get some sunlight on your face. (Vitamin D works wonders; you'll be amazed at how much better you feel.) After a long winter of going to work in the dark, a lazy afternoon of sunlight is probably just what you need.
All that fresh air will make you sleepy. This is a good thing! Your mind and body heals itself in your sleep.
All that fresh air will make you hungry. Another good thing! Choose three or four of your favorite healthy snacks and put them in the fridge. Munch away. Your brain will thank you for it. (Remember, of course, to sometimes celebrate with your favorite not-so-healthy snacks!)
Your world will right itself. It's a process that takes time. Until then, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Melissa Blake says
Thanks for these great tips, vicki! xoxo
Watch Enthusiast says
Great post!!! He's always there, dear. Waiting for you to grab hold of his outstreatched hand!
Susie says
Hope you are feeling better. I know what those symptoms are like. Mine turned out to be hormones. Most doctors don't check that on a blood test or even realize the connection. You have to go talk with an OBGYN. Hopefully, they checked yours but just sharing in case they haven't. Good luck and sending good wishes your way!
used cell phones says
I've lost interest in so many hobbies and activities that I once enjoyed, and that in itself scares me to no end.