Friends, I thought that Tuesdays would be a good day for an update on my struggles with depression and anxiety. As you know, I had an assessment last week with an outpatient program. It went well, until the insurance compnay wouldn’t cover it because it was an out-of-network program. So needless to say, that set me back a little.
I wish the program was an option. I wish insurance companies didn’t have such strict rules. But as I’m learning the ropes of this new medical territory, I’m slowly learning that’s the way it is.
With the program no longer an option, I’m going to do individual therapy. I might do better in a one-on-one setting. Cross your fingers.
My depression has also set me back a bit this week. My mom says that she can see a change in me for the better, but honestly, I don’t see it. I sometimes feel like this depression is swallowing me whole. I want to tell it to go away. I want to tell it to stop robbing me of my life. I want to tell it that I wish it had never latched on to me so tightly. I want to tell it to give me my energy and concentration back. But mostly, I want to tell it to, please, just let me feel how I used to feel. Just let me be me again. That’s all I want. That’s all anyone with depression really wants, isn’t it?
Thank you for listening, friends. More next week. xoxo