I’m sitting here trying to think of something to post but am having a difficult time concentrating, so I thought I’d give you an update on my progress. As it turns out, the insurance company only authorized me for 3 days in the outpatient program. Can you believe that, friends? So today I go for an assessment for a program closer to home. I’m a bit nervous about it, obviously, but I know I need some sort of outpatient care.
I never thought depression would ever creep into my life like this. I started some new medicines last week, so we’ll see if those help. I hate to be so negative, but I just want my life to get back to normal. It’s getting harder and harder to remember a time when I was well, and that scares me, friends. And it doesn’t help that everything seems so overwhelming. Even the simplest tasks take so much effort. I’m trying to tell myself that it’s just a symptom of the depression, and I’m going to keep telling myself that.
I’d love a little distraction, so tell me…what’s going on in your life, friends? Thanks as always for listening.
Daily Dishonesty
Mini Teardrop Necklace Giveaway!
My Father’s Suicide: On my mother’s strength
How I Feel (In 5 Photos) Wednesday.
Liesl @ FabulousFashions4SensibleStyle says
You are such an inspiring and strong lady, Melissa!
It is so wonderful that you are so open about things! I am sure your assessment today will go well, but shall be thinking of you and sending happy thoughts your way!
As for me, I am currently sick, but it is all okay, just trying to get over the worst of it and on the up and up…seems something has been going around and it is the season for colds! 🙂
In other news, I'm busy planning my wedding after my recent engagement and touring lots of wedding venues…I head to Santa Barbara, if I am well enough, tomorrow to check out some more possible venues!
I hope you have a relaxing rest of the week, and that things get a little less overwhelming for you…I know they will in time! 🙂
Liesl 🙂
Melissa Blake says
Wedding planning sounds like so much fun, Liesl!! 🙂
Novelista Barista says
i hope everything gets better with u melissa and ill be thinking of u!
for me… closer to getting a job as a teacher, one more interview this week so thats exciting….and i finshed reading Chelsea Handler's books and i absolutely LOVE her…. shes really funny.. i didnt realize it until i read her books!
🙂
Noodles and Waffles says
I'm just working. Not really fun although I'm secretly surfing blogs…so that's fun. I'm hoping spring will come soon and the extra sunshine will brighten both of our days.
Katherine says
My thoughts are with you, Melissa. Over this side of the Atlantic I am anxiously waiting for Spring and buying dresses for various weddings I am going to this year!
mylifereinvented says
Melissa thank you for the update. I've been keeping an eye out for posts from you. Good luck with the assessment. And don't forget you can always challenge the insurance company.
As for a bit of a distraction today I'm battling my daughter over who gets to type. She is 18 months old and thinks she is grown up. I'm also stressing out over the decision to move. My boyfriend and I want to be closer to family but that would mean leaving Seattle and going to Hawaii (poor me. I know). It is really weighing heavy on our minds. Other than that I'm trying to get out to the zoo with my daughter. Just waiting for it to get a bit warmer.
Anna Walker says
please please please get better soon! 🙂
I am supposed to be cleaning my apartment and looking for my keys, because without my keys I can't leave my apartment! Seriously! I also plan to go to the gym today and run on the treadmill, but cleaning is my #1! 🙂 Oh yeah, that and homework, and trying to stay warm! AND trying to read some more of Water For Elephants! Ha I just keep remembering new things!
http://annawalker1992.blogspot.com/
va says
I use to be depressed as a teen and took meds to try and makes things better and more calmer for me but it didn't work and just ended up making things worse . Eventually I had to get off meds. for good and now I can say I am med free and living life .
I pray , do yoga , talk to friends , read blogs , and yes everyone has their down days but I really hope that you feel better soon .
I would say having someone to talk to to give you some advice on how to be more happier and content with yourself and things in life would be good . For me having a faith works and having someone you feel you can talk to at ease and no judgement .
feel free to talk to me anytime
Dancing Branflake says
Thank you for keeping us posted. Being a blogging friend means being a part of each other's lives through thick and thin. I love that you are interested in our own. Take heart and I hope all is well in this new program.
Marcia says
Melissa, thanks for keeping us updated. I can't wait for the day you're back to your cheerful, positive self, but I know it will take some time and a lot of help. I think it's really great that you're writing a little bit about your feelings in these blog updates. If it is at all therapeutic for you, by all means, keep writing! Let us be your soundboard.
Now, as for a distraction…maybe you can help me solve a mystery. I woke up from a little nap a while ago, and went into the living room to see what my husband was up to. He told me he had just taken our dog outside for a walk, and when he returned…there was POO on the wall. Poo! Now, I must add we also have two cats, but they have a litter box they stay faithful to. The poo was not on said wall before he and our dog left for the walk. Also, how does poo get on a wall? It's the most mysterious poo, I tell you!
Katie says
Hoping you find comfort and the urge to smile soon! I think it's just awesome that you've confronted your feelings and working to turn them around.
Evie says
Melissa, today after work I was planning to go for a walk but decided that it was too cold outside so instead I ate a slice of pizza and started surfing blogs. I plan on watching my shows on my DVR tonight, including the Bachelor! Here's something fun. I planted some bulbs in the fall and just this very morning they started to shoot up their main flower stems. I was so excited I can't even tell you! Spring is around the corner! Hope you feel better soon!
Katie Lou says
Wow, anonymous. You really are a disgusting little human being. I can't help but chuckle at the thought of your cowardly self sitting there and hiding behind your computer screen making pathetic remarks in order to feed your sad little ego. Grow some balls and attach your name to whatever you feel you need to say to Melissa. Your life is completely laughable.
Tonia says
Rest assured, there was a day when you were normal and there will be again. Baby steps, inch by inch, you'll get there.
Oh, and well said Katie Lou – I completely agree!
Sascha says
Anonymous, as far as what I've ever read on Melissa's blog, she has never complained that "life isn't fair". In fact, she has copped any obstacles on the chin and carried on with admirable integrity. The only thing that makes life unfair is disgusting little maggots like you.
Diana Troldahl says
I have fibromyalgia and my good days and bad days can never be counted upon. I work, (for payment in books) by writing reviews for freshfiction (dot) com. I can almost always read, but some days I can only read romance, others I can read science fiction, or maybe even non-ficton.
I can write rough drafts on my medium days, but I can only polish the submissions on good days.
I also work (for almost as much as working part time at mcDonalds) as a knitting and crochet pattern writer/designer. I enjoy it a great deal, but again, I can only do the math stuff on good days.
Winter is hard as I have a small amount of seasonal depression compounded by being unable to get out of the house in my wheelchair for fresh air and jaunts with my husband. He has S.A.D. badly, so we focus on having something nice to look forward to each week, and getting as much outside sun (in the car) as we can on his days off.
I am so glad this is the tail end of winter. I haven't been able to garden for several years, but the crocus, squill and daffodils I planted when we first moved here bloom without any care each spring. I miss gardening, but those faithful blooms make me feel so happy every year.
{{{{{Melissa}}}}}
Anonymous says
have you heard lady gaga's new song 'born this way?' the lyrics are just about loving yourself and i think they might help bring a smile to your face 🙂
April says
oops, above comment was me. don't wanna be anonymous lol.
Cat says
Melissa,
I recently stumbled upon your blog and couldn't stop reading your entries. You are an inspiring and incredible person and I greatly look forward to reading future posts!! 🙂 🙂
Your new fan,
Cat
Pam says
Hi Melissa,
I always come to your blog for inspiration. You are one clever girl. It's always like one stop shopping – not in a Walmart way, but in a special boutique kind of way.
As for me, I'm having fun building a little on line digital art company w/my daughter's artwork. It is super fun and there is always so much to do, which takes my mind off of anything icky.
Plus, the tulips are starting to come up and that groundhog said that Spring will be on its way soon.