Dear Mr. Melissa Blake:
I have visible scars all over my body. They dot my arms and legs in zigzag patterns. And quite frankly, they’re sort of hard to miss. I can’t easily cover them up, and the strange thing is, I haven’t ever really wanted to. My mentality always was that people are going to have to get to know me and my scars. It’s all part of the package, if you will.
And you’re no different, Sweetpea. I often wonder what we’ll do when we get to the “scars’ part of our relationship. For the longest time, I’ve tried to picture what it would be like, that first time you catch a glimpse of one of my scars. Did I recoil in terror or embarrassment? Did you stutter as you tried to say something to lighten the mood? I can picture it being a bit awkward, and try as I probably will to lighten the mood, we’ll surely have a lot to talk about that day.
I wonder: Are my scars going to scare you? It’s one thing to talk about scars, but seeing them is a whole different ballgame. I don’t want you to be scared. After all, I’m not going to be scared of any of your scars – real or metaphorical – either.
Speaking of scars, have you ever thought what things would be like if I didn’t have a disability? I’ll admit that I’ve thought about that a few times recently, and I wonder if your mind will drift to it too. How would our relationship be different? Would it even have to be different? Emotionally, I don’t think it would be that much different. And that’s really what’s the most important, right?
Just rest assured, Sweetpea, that I’ve grown to a pretty cool place. I’m finally comfortable with my scars and am not afraid to show them. I rock a mean pair of shorts and don’t care if a scar or two or even three is visible. I chalk it up to the fact that it’s just part of who I am. Everyone has scars, right? Some people’s are just easier to see than others. Mine might be easier to see, but remember, Sweetpea, those little scars don’t define me. I’ve never let them have that much power over me, and I never intend to. But I do look forward to talking about them later with you. There’s a story behind every single one of them. Until we meet…
[Photos via Audrey Hepburn Complex]
Little Laura says
The last thing a man that loves you will be concerned about are scars. : )I have huge scars from hip surgeries that I got when I was a teenager. They're just part of my body now. On my wedding night, do you think my husband paid any attention to them? Absolutely not. Love is way deeper than that.
Now I'm facing "badges of honor" from pregnancy–stretch marks. My body will never look the way it did before. But I still get to hear how beautiful my husband thinks I am. It's not easy for me to hear all the time, but I know he means it.
Believe me, physical scars will not be a factor whatsoever when it comes to a man that loves you. : )
First, I wanted to leave you one of my absolute favorite quotes, by Dr. Seuss 🙂
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
Second, you're right, every one has scars. Some people's are not even physical ones. We all have our problems, insecurities, issues, and things we need to work on. The best part of a relationship is when we come across those obstacles and learn to work through them.
I think every one needs to step back and look at themselves like this, and realize that our imperfections are not barriers, but just stepping stones that we can work past.
Waiting impatiently for Mr. Blake to come,
Jodie Eileen ツ says
melissa, this post is darling 🙂
Melissa Blake says
Aura — I love that quote!
glad i took the time to read your inspiring post today melissa.
Dancing Branflake says
I wanted to comment even though I have nothing else to say. You said it all.
Reverse Address Lookup says
That scars will be the reason for you to see his truelove for you, no matter what happen scars metaphorical or real is just a scars for me If I do really love a girl even if she's born with scars all over her body, I'll not be scared of her instead I will hug her and whisper the word " That's why I loved you!"
This one made me cry. Some do wear them on the inside, and it seems that those would be easier to come to terms with since they aren't so visible, but apparently not. I admire your ability to become more than your scars, physical or otherwise, and I will continue to try to do the same.
I really appreciate your post and you explain each and every point very well.Thanks for sharing this information.And I’ll love to read your next post too.