An Open Letter To Myself.

Dear Melissa:
I know you’re struggling right now and it seems like nothing is ever going to get better. You might feel like the walls are closing in and that no matter how hard you try, you’re feel are stuck in that metaphorical mud. It’s hard. I know.

I know it seems like nothing is ever going to be the same again, too. I know you feel like you’ll never be that girl you once were, and you look back on what you call your “old” like and miss it so much. You didn’t realize how good you had it before, you think.

But I’m here to tell you one thing: You ARE getting better. You might not be able to see it now, but each day, you are getting stronger and stronger. You are back at work, which is something to be extremely proud of. When you were in the hospital, I didn’t know how you’d ever go back to work, but you did. That right there is a testament to your strength and willpower. You haven’t lost your strength. Sure, you may have to look a little harder to find it, but it’s there. It never went away, so take comfort in that.
I know you miss your writing too. It seems like writing anything is a struggle now, but baby steps is the way to go here. Know that your concentration and writing pizazz will come back in time. So until then, write what you can and know that that is enough for now. We both know you have trouble hearing the word patience so many times, so I won’t tell you to remain patient. Instead, I’ll tell you to remain calm. Does that help?

Also, take comfort in the fact that people love you and want to help. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. And don’t be afraid to go easy on yourself right now. You’ve been through a lot and are still recovering. Don’t be afraid to go at your own speed, whatever speed that may be.

You, Melissa, are a heck of a lot stronger than you think you are. You’re a fighter, so let’s see some more of that fighting spirit; we both know it’s in you. Look at all you’ve been through. You got through all that, and you’ll get through this. I promise you. And we both know I’ve never been one to lie about anything.

[Photos via Audrey Hepburn Complex]