So I’ve heard it said a time or two that men like the challenge of a woman – the sort of give-and-take, cat-and-mouse sort of thing. You know, the thrill of the chase. The game or whatever the hipster kids are calling it these days.
Is that really true? I’m beginning to question it, because it if were true, heck, I’d have gaggles of boys chasing after me as fast as the paparazzi chase Robert Pattinson. Obviously, I don’t. I’m talking about the gaggles of boys here, not the paparazzi, but now that you mention it….
But I digress. What do you think, friends? Is the chase always better than the actual relationship? I’ve always thought the relationship would be a million times more rewarding, and I’m looking forward to it one day myself…
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Aura says
I'm not a fan of "the chase." I think that playing games is kind of a childish thing to do, when we should really just be getting to the point! The relationship is the best part, why delay it?
Melanie's Randomness says
I'm not a fan of the chase either. It can get very discouraging and annoying. I like the relationship & honesty better. A friend of mine has been in a relationship for almost 5 years & tells me she misses the chase. I can't understand why.
Melanie's Randomness
Mary says
I think people who are interested in the chase simply aren't ready for a relationship. If you're sincerely interested in having a relationship with someone, it's not about the chase. It's about being with the person you love.
Karina Cifuentes says
You always have the best posts. 🙂 Hope you had a great weekend!
xoxo,
Dreaming of Palm Trees
Katherine says
I agree with Mary – she said it far better than I would have! Give me a loving relationship over 'the chase' any day.
Melisande says
I agree with Mary as well. A loving and lasting relationship is so much more rewarding than playing hard to get or playing games.
Jessi Haish says
I don't like "the chase." I think people get too worried about things like "playing hard to get" and lose sight of themselves… You just gotta let things happen. I don't understand why guys would want someone complicated and who plays games… it's so much more simple to just be yourself! In the end they'll be with the real you, might as well be that person from the very beginning.
Anonymous says
While I'm not a fan of games I do think the chase can be fun as long as both people are being honest and themselves. There's something to be said for not pouring your heart out on date 1 or 2, or not becoming a couple too quickly. I love being in a relationship with my boyfriend, but I also loved those fun flirting months when you don't know what the next date will bring. ~ Laura
Dancing Branflake says
It depends on the chase. As a married woman, I look back on the times I was caught up in the chase and sometimes I smile and sometimes I cringe. But I always smile when I think about my marriage.
Single Stone Studios says
I guess I've never really experienced the chase. I married my husband at 19 just after high school – 2 kids and 15 yrs later I'm still happy being caught 🙂
Blondie says
Unfortunately I do think men like the chase, but I'm so over the games at 34, so how will I ever find someone? Kori xoxo
Anonymous says
I second the first anonymous. Not to play games, but it can be a good thing to keep some distance while figuring out if you even like who they are before you fall in love with them. Jump into a relationship too fast, and you're more likely to uncover the unpleasant surprises after you're emotionally invested (makes it a lot harder to walk away from a bad, even abusive situation). It takes time to peek behind people's public facades; their masks sometimes slip during the chase, though.
Not to say that you can't have fun feeling each other out.
Liesl @ FabulousFashions4SensibleStyle says
Lovely question, Melissa! I suppose the chase can be a little exciting in the beginning, but then building the relationship is so rewarding and wonderful!
Liesl 🙂
Wendy says
Yes, I think that most, not all, men like a good chase. It's kind of like playing a mental game of Chess (which I respectfully realize is not to everyone's liking). Personally, I've always enjoyed the chase. There is something to be said for long term comfort but oh those butterflies. Love Dancing Branflakes response and loveeee that sparkler photo!
Natalie says
In my opinion, the relationship part is SO much better!! It is wonderful to know you can count on someone and know they love you for you.
The chase part or the beginning part as I put is fun for a while, but I like settling into a relationship.
Lady Grey says
There's no doubt that the chase is fun… it's so much fun! But games on the other hand, will just drive you crazy.
But no matter what anyone says, the relationship, if it's a good one, is always better!
oxo
Lauren says
I don't know.. in my case, the chase was horribly painful and hard. SO worth it in the end and we're happily married, but I could have done without the "chase."
Sure is fun to watch in movies and on TV though 🙂
Oh, My Darling says
Having recently emerged from a long-term relationship and back into dating, I can say with great certainty that the chase is exhausting! I'm a really direct person, and it's pretty annoying to feel the need to hold that back for the sake of "the game." I totally prefer the comfort of just knowing how each other feels, whether that's good or bad news.
Anonymous says
I guess I'm pro chase cause when my boyfriend and I met I genuinely did not see him as boyfriend material. I liked him a lot, but just could not see us being in a relationship together. And I told him so. Thank God he chased anyway and I went along with it cause I could not imagine being with anyone else. The chase, and the holding back, and the uncertainty were what gave me time to develop feelings and realize I was wrong. And I love being in a relationship with him and wouldn't go back to the chase part for anything, but I guess I have fond feelings for it because for me being direct about my feelings too soon almost cost me a great relationship. ~ Laura
Melissa Blake says
I love these answers. Thanks guys.
Dara says
Relationship > the chase.
i hated the chase. still do, but that's besides the point.. the point is. whatever works for you will work for whoever you're supposed to be with because your way will be the same way as his. Does that make sense?
esseay writer says
I think from a center of self knowledge and self differentiation intimate behavior joins family, close friends as well as those in love. It evolves through reciprocal self-disclosure and candor.