Dear Mr. Melissa Blake:
Do you have a falling pattern? OK, I know what might sound like an odd question, but just hear me out on this one (and get ready to hear me out on a lot of other things during our love, too…). But is there a certain type of gal you typically fall for? I’m not talking about looks, really, here, and I often wonder how much we talk about our past relationships together. Now, when we meet, I’m not exactly sure how many past relationships I’ll have to speak of, but why do I have a pattern of falling for these two types of guys:
1. The guy who is so obviously not into me – and yet I still hold out hope that someday, by some miraculous miracle of the Gods, he’ll wake up one day and realize my pure awesomeness?
2. The guy who I know rationally I shouldn’t be falling for because it’s just one giant mine field of mistakes and missteps – and yet, I, a mature, independent, (somewhat) self-assured woman, takes on the attitude of a teenager and simply doesn’t care?
What is wrong with me here? I know the MOs of Mr Wrongs: Immature, self-absorbed, shallow. Please tell me you’re not one of those, Sweetpea. I’m not sure I could handle that sort of stress.
The only rationalization (darn it, there I go trying to justify everything again) I can come up with is my case of non-experience. As you know, I’ve never, ever pretended to have experienced something – well, OK, technically more like experience anything is more appropriate – so am I just starting to get to that phase? Is it a phase you went through, Sweetpea?
And while we’re on the subject of past (or in-our-head past) relationships, I think it only appropriate to open up Pandora’s Box of cheating. I know, I know. It’s a topic you probably don’t want to even discuss, but we have to. Remember, I don’t want to suffer any casualties of the heart here. Or, rather, I’d like to avoid them as much as humanly possible, if only for my mental sanity.
My rule: Don’t even get any ideas in your head about going and doing something as stupid as cheating on me. Think about it: i write about you before we’ve even met. Think about how much worse it would be if i wrote about you after i found you in some seedy motel bed with some two-bit flussy. Until we meet… xoxo