Tales From The Trenches: Tale #47

You don’t mind if I assume the tale writing today, do you, friends? I write on a most universal of topics, one Taylor Swift immortalized in two of my favorite songs (those would be Teardrops On My Guitar and You Belong With Me): That green-eyed monster known as jealousy. Enjoy! xoxo

P.S. Look for Kasey’s wisdom next week! 🙂

You know her. She’s that girl who is perfect, who gets the guy (the one you want), who’s smart. And you hate her, even though you know you shouldn’t. Well, I’ve known a few of those in my day, maybe even more than I care to admit – even to myself.
And it makes me feel, well, sort of pathetic. I have no reason to hate her. Well, except for the fact that she can seemingly seduce any guy with her eyes while I’m left standing there after guys have seen my eyes and taken to the hills.

It’s bad. Really bad. I feel like some Midwestern knock-off version of a character from The Hills. I feel like I should be sitting outside at some bistro sipping from a glass and gossiping with other girls about my jealousy woes and inserting those awkward pauses and eye-stares at just the right time. And I feel like I should be saying, “I can’t believe her” a lot.

*Cue 10-second awkward stare*

OK, so I do say that a lot. In my head, at least.

So I try to have an intervention of sorts in my head. I know this intervention was coming. It was inevitable, really. And I ask myself (in my head, of course…mostly) these questions:

*Why do you care so much about some guy you will never date, don’t really want to date if you’re being completely honest and who has a girlfriend?

*Don’t you know the end result already? Things could never in a million years work out. There are just too many complications and variables in this mess of an equation.

*Why are you so jealous of said girlfriend anyway?

*What’s up with you? I thought you were stronger and more self-assured than that.
And then the point in the internal intervention comes when I give myself a must-do list, sort of like a 12-step program for the heart, only there are actually fewer than 12 steps. I call them my Stops…

*Stop saying, “I hate her” in your head every time you think of them together.

*Stop wasting your time on something you know will only leave you even more depressed and agitated.

Yet all the while, I can’t help but wonder: Why am I so jealous of these girls? I mean, beyond the whole she-has-the-great-guy thing? Wasn’t I supposed to go through this 10 years ago when I was a teenager? I swear, I feel so damn young sometimes.
Those things I didn’t get a chance to experience the first time around in my teen years? Well, I feel like they’re all catching up to me now. At once. It’s a bit overwhelming and confusing, I must admit.

Oy. I need a little dose of confidence today, don’t I? Maybe a Barq’s root beer will snap me out of this funk??

Have you ever felt this way, friends? xoxo

[Photos via Le Love and Audrey Hepburn Complex]