As a woman with a physical disability, I can totally relate to this. How awesome is it that it’s an off-shoot of traditional bingo? There are so many misconceptions about disabilities, and this card is quite a good representation of them.
My favorites (and don’t think I haven’t heard these before…):
*Must be nice not to have to walk everywhere/work
*What’s wrong with you? Why are you wearing/using those?
*Talking v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y
*How do you have SEX?
Which phrase is your favorite, friends? xoxo
Letters To My Future Husband: Letter #61
In Which I Reveal My Old Lady Lifestyle
Back Talk.
Audreya says
My favorites are slightly different with a chronic illness than a disability, but I've even had some of these directed at me. I just smile and nod.
My faves are when people say "Lupus? My aunt died from that." Gee, thanks. Or "You're taking Prednisone? My dog has to take that." Again, thanks. 🙂
Melissa Blake says
Audreya, some people can be so insensitive, can't they. Sometimes I don't think they think about what they're saying before they open their mouth!
Michelle says
my favorite is "are you sure you have ___________? do you really need that _________?"
i heard this all the time when i was in jr. high. i had surgery 3 times on my legs and when i was learning to walk again, the kids at school stole my crutches to see if i was just "faking".
ohhhh, the days of adolescence.
i couldn't be paid enough to go back to those days 🙂 unless i knew what i know now — then those kids would have gotten an earful.
Erin says
Melissa, I just wanted to say that people are lucky that you don't slap the shit out of them for being so idiodic.
"Everyone has SOME sort of disability?"
Yes, and when STUPIDITY is what ails someone, they should be required to wear a caution sign to alert the rest of us.
When my dad was very sick with cancer, people treated him like an infant. Drove him crazy. Drove me crazy. I think sometimes people confuse "sick" or "disability" with "inability." Just shows how bloody ignorant humans can be.
Another great post, Melissa. 🙂
Jude says
What an amazing find! I totally agree with the poster above that folks are lucky you don't slap them silly! Oh, and just wanted to say congrats again on the Glamour post. I loved it & I'm so inspired!
Ashley says
Wow — I can't believe how ignorant people are and so insensitive!!
Is it rude to ask relative questions to try to understand what someone is dealing with? I'm very curious but I don't want to be offensive or make someone uncomfortable — I would NEVER make the comments in the above bingo card. They are ignorant and insensitive. It makes me want to punch someone in the face =/
thelayeredpancake says
i think this is a great table. this has probably been experienced with every person who suffers a disability.
ps. i passed you an award at my blog! love. sheena
kirstyb says
interesting x
Melissa Blake says
That's a great question, Ashley. I always prefer that people ask me questions (in a tactful way, of course!) rather than make assumptions.
I say go ahead and ask! 🙂
PoetessWug says
Melissa, my disability is actually one of the more ACCEPTED ones because people look at me and assume, because I'm extremely overweight, that they know EXACTLY how I got that way!! So, people are very often insensitive in their stares and in their comments. But I know that THEY are disabled too! Emotionally disabled if they think it's okay to be RUDE…to ANTONE! Thankfully I DO know how I got to this point and I don't have to explain it to them! ^_^ I love who I am…fat and all!! How many people can say that…and mean it!!
Jennifer says
I've heard so many of these before. I have neurological disorder called RSD and just because you can't see it, people think I'm faking it.. I can think of a lot better ways to get attention than "faking" I'm in pain all day, everyday! People are just so insensitive.
Melissa Blake says
Poetess, that is awful. I'm so sorry! 🙁
UnHoly Diver says
All my adult life, I've gotten the "You're so brave!" comment, or something similar, when people find out I have cerebral palsy and a speech impediment. I've gotten used to the looking-down-one's-nose attitiude over my life, and most of it just rolls off my back nowadays. But the one thing that still irks me, really irks me, at the ripe old age of 58, is when someone will turn to another person and ask them what I said when they can't understand me. On more than one occasion, I have told that person to ask ME what I said, not the other guy. Unless my sister is with me, because she's been my official "translator" over the years. 🙂
Melissa Blake says
GOOD one, unholy! That is one of my biggest pet peeves. i mention it in my glamour blog post yesterday!
http://www.glamour.com/health-fitness/blogs/vitamin-g/2010/08/5-myths-about-living-with-a-di.html
Anonymous says
To the commenter who used the expression "everyone that suffers a disability" I think you might have missed the point of Melissa's post and Glamour article. People with disabilities do not suffer from having a disability. I am a woman with a disability myself and I do not suffer from it, nor would I ever talk about myself as suffering from…X,Yor Z. Please everyone, let's be mindful of how we use the word "suffer". It just perpetuates the myths that Melissa was trying to dispel in the first place. – Not THAT anon.
Melissa Blake says
Anon, you're right. I'm very big on people-first language. We're people with a disability, not disabled people.
Jackie {York Avenue} says
Hey Melissa! This is an older post but I just had to comment. I can totally see how terrible/annoying it would be to hear totally stupid comments like these. But sometimes I think maybe comments like these come only partly from stupidity/ignorance but also partly from ppl just not knowing what to say. I actually work in the healthcare field, sometimes with chronically/terminally ill ppl, and honestly, sometimes I DON'T know what to say! So I often just don't really say anything about the situation at hand, because I'm afraid of making a totally dumb or insulting comment like these. And I know people should just talk normally, like your disability doesn't have to be the topic of conversation-but say it WAS going to be the topic of conversation, what would you LIKE to have people say? Or would you not like to discuss it at all? Did you ever do a post about things that are good/not totally ignorant and stupid to say to a person with a disaiblity or an illness? Just out of curiosity, because it would definitely be helpful to me and maybe to others as well, and I'd be totally interested in reading it! Sorry that was a bit long-winded! Hope you're having a good week 🙂