This is the inner monologue I have with myself (only sometimes, now…) when guy friends wax whimsical and poetic about their girlfriends.
Wow, did you really have to tell me you have a girlfriend? Were you trying to brag, make me jealous, etc? And of course I want to hear about how you’ve been spending every single day together, and how you can’t fall asleep without her next to you. And yippy skippy, I just love that you show me pictures of her.
I’m so happy for you. Really. I am. It’s. Just. So. Perfect.
I know, you can probably sense a hint of snark and sarcasm, can’t you, friends? Maybe you feel the same way, though. Doesn’t it seem sometimes that the gap between girlfriend and girl friend is just so wide? And with my luck, I’m going to just fall down the middle of that gap one of these days.
Have you ever felt like this before? Let’s chat, shall we? xoxo
[Photo via Le Love]
The Virgin Monologues Part III: Male Virgins Are Hot.
Aisha says
Great post! I know how that goes. It's a stinky feeling but those guys who you can't bridge the gap between girl friend and girlfriend with, well it's probably for the better. Something way more awesome is on its way!
I have this idea in my mind that when I meet the One, I will finally be able to understand why it didn't work out with other guys and I will be that much more grateful that my feelings weren't reciprocated.
Anonymous says
I know how you feel, but please don't take it so hard when guys just are happy and don't realize that they may be boasting too much. I've had some bitter single friends of mine get angry whenever I mentioned my boyfriend, and I wasn't even boasting, but he is a huge part of my life, so obviously he comes up. I'm sure your feelings are justified, but just know that from the other side of it, it sucks when your friends aren't happy for you, or think you're rubbing it in their face when you're not.
PS-Instead of witty, sarcastic inner banter, why not turn it into positive energy, and say "I am so happy for you! Now, time to set me up so we can double date, and we can dish together!"
Pawkydork108 says
Melissa,
You have the same problem? I don't feel so alone now. It drives a 100% crazy when one of my guy freinds has to tell me all the details of what he has been doing with his new "the one." I'm not mean and I don't hate them for being happy when I'm not but its a totaly not thinking of how I might feel thing.They also of having the habbit of doing it right after I break up with some one. (usally when my mean face is on) They get snapped at and then blame me for being a b***h!
I get it.
Lariss
Chic 'n Cheap Living says
Hey Melissa, I actually felt that with girlfriends – the "oh I should feel great for you but I feel crappy" I remember feeling that way when I was in two of my close friend's weddings right after a bad breakup.
For male friends, the gap can sometimes be closer than you think.
Thanks for stopping by my blog. I love finding different photos and that one of the sailboats on the sea is so calming.
Anonymous says
Wow, I'm glad you posted about this. Sometimes in a store or some other place I will be talking to a guy and the conversation is going well and then all of a sudden he mentions, "oh, my girlfriend did blah, blah, blah" and I think to myself…I wasn't trying to get your number, we were just having a conversation for Pete's sake! Geez.
SilverNeurotic says
I've actually lost count of how many times I've met a guy, developed something of a crush on them-just to have them squash my hopes by telling me about their girlfriend.
Erin Riley says
Melissa, You captured the inner monologue of the single girl perfectly. The huge abyss of girl (canyon) friend is the story of my life.
~Azucar~ says
I have this "friend"… I visited him late last year… we were trying the "let's be only friends" thing… but it kinda got a bit carried away. I think he felt the same… so he decided it be fun to talk his (now ex) girlfriend up… he showed me pictures… but the way he kept acting toward me, I kept asking myself "where is he dividing the line between girl friend and girlfriend with me?"
I feel for the inner monologue, as I know it all to well ^_^ I hope one day I find someone… hope you will too. ^_^ You deserve it!
Strawberry Templetons says
I have felt that way before, but now I realize that if they're talking to me about something so important to them, then they must cherish me as a friend. So take comfort in that! I get that the friend card is not always the best one, but having friends is just as important in a gal's life. And I've found that if you cultivate these friendships instead of looking for love, the love just happens! Like anon said, turn the conversation into a positive. 🙂
Erin Elizabeth says
Thanks for posting this, Melissa. I've never thought about that this way…I actually like when a guy brings up his girlfriend (and even when he gushes a bit) because I think it's really nice (and refreshing sometimes) to talk to a guy who openly admits to having a girlfriend, let alone says flattering things about her. It reaffirms that there are nice, classy, respectful men out there. Isn't that what we want? A man who, if you're not with him, will tell people how amazing you are. That's how I look at it.
I totally see where you're coming from…I just thought I'd offer a bit of a different perspective.
Insightful post, as usual.
Melissa Blake says
Turn the conversation into a positive! I love that. Thanks, as always, guys!! 🙂
I Love You More Than... says
Oh god, I know how this.
Your inter-monologue describes how I feel everyday.
It's good to know I'm not alone.
Multi-Ainjo says
You should totally listen to Ani DiFranco's song "Untouchable Face" the lyrics exemplify this feeling!