Dear Mr. Melissa Blake:
I’m not exactly sure what spurred this intense honesty in me, actually, though I’m pretty sure my disability might have something to do with it. In a good way, of course, Sweetpea. OK, let me see if I can get this analogy right; I’m sure you’ll bear with me. You see, my disability is sort of like the absense of a band-aid. I don’t have a protective coating of band-aid over my skin, so everything just sort of oozes out of me. Ironically, my disability hasn’t afforded me much in the way of modesty, and in a way, maybe that’s a good thing. At the very least, I get to cut through a lot of the crap in life….sorry for my foul language, Sweetpea. See, my honesty even sometimes leads me to let a foul word or two slip.
And since I’m always talking about being honest, I thought it only prudent (isn’t that just an all-around awesome word, Sweetpea…?) to give you some hard evidence of my honesty in action. Wait, my entire blog is sort of an example of my honesty in action. Oh, shoot. Well, anyway, check out some of these comments and questions some questionable readers left for me recently. The questions were submitted via my Formspring (Why does that sound like such a dirty word…? . I’ll let you judge them for yourself…
Do you think you will get married one day? you are not going to find anyone just sitting behind a computer screen all day. I am a guy and my buddies and i think its creepy you right to someone who doesn’t exist, having an imaginary friend is 4 yr oldish.
Wheelchair = Man repellent. Classic! That’s exactly what it is. To be fair, a man is [sic] a wheelchair would equally repulse a woman. IMO I would stop with this hoping and wishing for love. If it hasn’t happened by now, it never will.
Guys can hang out & be cool with you. But expecting something more? Thats too much to ask for. At least try to go for somebody who’s also in a wheelchair
This is meant to be a sincere question & really not meant to be rude at all. Don’t u think your letters to your future husband might come off as creepy & desperate to ur actual future husband?
I think you are a great writer and have a lot of excellent things to say! But I worry that if a potential suitor read your blog, he’d be really scared off because you are so strong-willed in your expectations.
The first three, as you can imagine, just got me plain steaming mad. Almost had to down TWO cans of Barq’s for those three. But, these last two questions got me wondering.
I’ve never thought these letters would turn any guy away – and wouldn’t that be sort of pathetic if they did? I mean really. Come on now. Yes, I am strong-willed, but why does that have to be such a negative trait? Sometimes strong-willed is simply knowing what you want and what you won’t put up with. It’s like my disability. I’m cutting through all the nonsense and working my way to the real thing, you know, Sweetpea? And really, how is writing about your life, your hopes, your dreams and your soul ever desperate? Frankly, I think it’s one of the most beautiful and courageous things in the world. Why would anyone want to hide behind a mask for fear of looking desperate?
And as far as an imaginary friend goes? I’ve honestly never thought of you that way. Right now, in 2010, you do seem very real to me. I haven’t met you yet, but I think of you and smile every time I write one of these letters. It’s not like I talk to you (I’m not passing judgment on anyone here, just to be clear…) out loud or anything, but these letters give me a sort of romantic connection to something perhaps bigger than myself. And I must say, I like the idea of that. I like the idea of sharing a part of myself with you in these letters. Who knows how I’ll feel in 5 years, but for right now, I feel content. And I don’t think that’s ever a bad way to feel.
In fact, though, if I’m really being honest, and don’t get too mad at me for saying this, Sweetpea, I don’t write these letters solely for you. Don’t get me wrong. I can’t wait to see your face when you read these mounds and mounds of letters, but I suppose there is a selfish side of me that is, in the end, writing them for myself too. I like the idea of capturing a moment in time for someone I haven’t met yet. It’s another interesting way to document my journey, and writing has always been very therapeutic for me. Even if you never come along, it’ll still be fun to look back at these letters in 10 years and see just how far I’ve come. I’m starting to realize that maybe I’m also writing the letters to capture my life where I am now and clarify what exactly I want in my life.
But really, just because you haven’t met someone yet doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Maybe some part of you lives in my heart. Is that such a bad thing? And until I meet you, if we should me someday, who says writing these letters until then shouldn’t one hell of a fun ride? Does that make sense, Sweetpea?
But maybe, when all is said and done, I really should scare you a bit. What do you think? At the very least, it’ll keep you on your toes. And always keep things interesting. But just please do promise me one thing: You do know the difference between right and write, right? Until we meet… xoxo
[Photos via We Heart It]