When I received this comment to one of my Psychology Today posts, I knew it was too beautiful not to share. Hope you enjoy it! xoxo
I wanted to share with you a story. It’s about my first serious boyfriend who had been diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy. I was 18; he was 19. We were a match on Facebook’s “Are You Interested?” application. I sent him a message expressing my apologies for his having lost his father, and he messaged me back. We started talking on AIM all the time, and after a few days, he revealed that he uses a wheelchair to get around most of the time — he can walk, but his balance is really off, so it’s just easier to use the chair. At first, my heart skipped a beat, but then I reminded myself that he was a normal person and I knew he had a good heart. Sure, he may not have been the guy I imagined I’d want to be with, but I did.
We were together for almost three months and it likely would have continued if it weren’t for one thing: he didn’t seem to believe he was worthy of my love. He held me up on a pedestal because he felt he couldn’t be what I needed, and he was always waiting for the shoe to drop, for me to leave. He stopped communicating with me. That’s what broke us. It wasn’t his disability. I loved him and didn’t mind helping him get dressed – it wasn’t easy for him with his lack of balance – and I didn’t mind pushing him around when he broke his hand. I did the things he needed help with because I wanted to, not because I needed to. I really thought we had a chance at a longer-lasting relationship.
If there’s anything I’ve learned from my relationship with him, it’s that you truly must believe you are worthy of love if you want to receive it.
[Photos via I Heart Love]