TO: Men all over the planet
FROM: Melissa
RE: A righteous realization
DATE: May 3, 2010
I don’t know what it is. Maybe something clicked. Maybe even this blog has been some sort of therapy for me. I’m sure even you boys have helped me too, in your own special way. But I was looking at some photos I took on my Blackberry over the last few months, and I couldn’t help but think to myself,”Is that really me?” It actually took me a moment to recognize myself.
So what’s this truth that hit me over the red-head like a ton on equally red bricks?
I’m not ugly. I’m not grotesque. I’m not weird-looking or alien-looking.
I’m me. And I am beautiful.
Why do I spend so much damn time thinking I’m not worthy or not some guy’s “version” of girlfriend material? No, wait, I take that back. Why in the hell do I WASTE so much time thinking those things? Because isn’t that what it boils down to…a huge waste of time, mental energy and giving boys (not you, of course, right, boys…?) more attention than they’ll ever deserve in their entire lives? 
It’s like the Phil Collin’s hit True Colors, which is one of my favorite songs, by the way. If you’re not going to love me for showing my true colors (that are as beautiful and as sexy as a rainbow), then you know what? You’re not deserving of even standing in the shadow of my colors. And, really, it’s something you’ll one day regret missing out on. 
The same goes for you, too, boys. I hope you’ll never hide any part of yourself because whether you know it now or not, one day, someone is going to love you because of every single part of you, not in spite of this part of that part. That’s really what true love is at the end of the day, isn’t it?
So take a look my face, boys. How could you resist me…or that perky, seductive and ever-so-mysterious smile of mine?
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Cat says
What a lovely post, my dear! It is so true…beauty, absolutely, comes from within and radiates outward like a blooming flower.
You are truly a beauty to behold, inside and out 🙂
xo Cat
Strawberry Templetons says
Great post Melissa! I love to hear you so confident! You're an inspiration to all women, who should love themselves as they are, because that is what makes them beautiful! Thanks for the inspiration. 🙂
MaryBeth says
Melissa, if only everybody could have this lightbulb moment. The beauty is there it just takes the right person to see it.
xo from one red head to another.
Pinecone Camp says
Way to say it Melissa! You are so inspiring. That last pic of you is especially cute. Take that 'boys'!!
I'd love to meet you in person.
Pinecone Camp says
Way to say it Melissa! You are so inspiring. That last pic of you is especially cute. Take that 'boys'!!
I'd love to meet you in person.
Melissa Blake says
thanks for these awesome comments! Yes, pinecone, i thought the same…take that, boys!! xoxo
Sara says
Fantastic post, Melissa! Would that all of us (women and men) could have such a moment and realize that we are all uniquely perfect! The world would definitely be a happier, and most ironically, a LESS vain place! Great pics! 😀
lavanya says
Hi Melissa! I've only recently starting reading your amazing blog. Now, it's the first thing I read when I get home from work. When I find myself getting caught up in the same negative thinking (about how I'm not pretty enough or good enough), I read what you say and think, "Duh! I'm awesome. Of course! Why do I keep forgetting?" Thank you for the daily wakeup call. You remind me that I need to love myself before I am ready love anyone else. Thank you!
Melissa Blake says
lavanya, I hope you NEVER forget how awesome you are!! xoxo
Anonymous says
I don't think Linda Perry had you in mind when she penned Beautiful. Nor Christina Aguilera when she recorded it. But it's good you have that high an opinion of yourself. Of course, most guys don't believe you to be. Most guys live on this planet and not in La La Land where your looks don't matter. That's why you're 30 and never had an opportunity with any guy.
Melissa Blake says
You're wrong, anonymous. I'm 28.
Melissa Blake says
P.S. I'm assuming you've heard the song before, so I'm sure you already know that words can't bring me down.
Jenn says
Best answers ever, MB, to a completely idiotic anon. post.
Oh, and I recently stumbled upon your blog and love it! You're such a smart, sassy, sexy lady. Rock on.
Cheers,
Jenn
Ashley Stone says
Love this post and I love your wonderful attitude! I think we can all learn from you to see our own beauty. You are beautiful!
And to "Anonymous:" Do you really have nothing better to do with your time then to write horrible, negative comments on someone's blog? You could learn a lot from Melissa if you'd open your eyes. Does it make you feel better about yourself to put others down? Beautiful people like Melissa don't need to hurt others for an ego boost. I hope you can learn from her.
The Style Mansion says
I aspire to have confidence like you one day Melissa.
Thanks
My name is S says
You go girl!
What is with this anonymous person anyway?
Just so you know, Melissa, if he/she spends the time to read your blog, then there's definitely something he/she finds attractive about you.
Jealousy's never been a good thing… 😉
Hollie says
what an inspiring post. I've always struggled with self esteem. I thought I was fat when I weighed 120 lbs, and after having a baby and hanging on to a few extra pounds from my pregnancy, I often find myself disgusted when I look in the mirror. Its so hard to remember that beauty comes from within, and works it's way outward. One day I will feel beautiful. :] I'm glad your day came.
And to anonymous: You're a giant douchebag. Why hide your identity when you say rude things? If you're going to say it, stand behind it.
Augustus says
What's in your heart matters most. Cliché, but's it real.
I admire people who are real, unlike people who pretend someone they're not.
I can sense your wonderful soul, and that's the real beauty. ^^ have a nice day!
DapperPaper says
Who does anonymous think they are?! and who has the time to be so negative?
and why do you feel the need to hide your identity?
oh, probably because you shouldn't be saying those things.
melissa, you are LOVELY, just the way God made you!
And I know I struggle with that same feeling. I think if most women were honest, they would agree.
It's a constant battle in our society and I think it comes from finding our self-worth and beauty in the wrong place!
Thank you for your honesty and inspiration to embrace our uniqueness! 🙂
Roosterruler says
Dudette! You rock!!!
Amanda says
Your confidence is truly beautiful! Just stumbled upon your blog and I like it very much! I will continue checking it out.
Erin says
I know this is an older post, but I just had to comment.
It nearly brought tears to my eyes, I thought it was beautiful. I think it's an amazing thing when people can let go of society's pre-determined "beauty" and appreciate and love themselves. I just have to applaud you for not only your outlook on life (which gives me hope), but also on your ability to put it all so gracefully into words.
All the best,
Erin
the chirpy bird says
Trolling through your site I stumbled across this and I have to say, thank you. Going through a heart breaking break up it's so nice to be reminded not to waste time thinking or feeling anything other than proud of who you are. My dad always says to me in reference of how special I am "darling, Kings have given up thrones. You will always be the prize." Thank you for reminding me!
xo tash
Ben Karlin says
Melissa, longtime reader, first time caller. Part of the Viral Tweet fandom. This is what I have wanted to say to you but could not find a way.
The trolls called you ugly and you are not, especially the more I have gotten to know you through your tweets and blog. Your appearance is different from what people may think of as ideal. Very few have ideal faces and bodies. Guess that’s what “ideal” is all about.
I think most faces are pretty average.
You seem to be an altogether attractive person. Attractive in its most meaningful sense, not of appearance but of “whole package” being someone who attracts others.
You are funny, sincere, honest, energetic (as opposed to ambitious or driven), literate, open, cheerful and thoughtful. All of your experiences including those of your disability and how you deal with the complications it has brought to your life come together to shape who you are.
I have searched for months for a proper way of describing your face. Is it beautiful? That hardly seems like an appropriate way of summing anyone up. What a terrible thing to be beautiful but repellant, not attractive.