Dear Mr. Melissa Blake:
Am I sitting next to you right now? If I am, Sweetpea, here’s what I want you to do. Turn to me, look at me in the eyes and ask me (gently, of course…), “Oh, honey, did you actually tweet this?”
My answer: Yes, I did. It’s May 2010, and I’m not sure if it’s the warming weather or what, but I’ve been thinking about those sorts of romances that come out of nowhere and pummel you over the head. You know, the kind you never expected, where you develop feelings for that one person you’ve been telling yourself to stay away from. And then suddenly, maybe like finding the perfect lyrics for a melody, everything neatly falls into place, and you find yourself surprisingly happy.
Now, I’m sure it’s not helping things that I’ve had Taking Chances by Celine Dion (though I’m listening to the GLEE version…) on repeat all morning. What, Sweetpea? You don’t know this most glorious, uplifting of songs? Just take these lyrics, for example…
You don’t know about my past
And I don’t have a future figured out
And maybe this is going too fast
And maybe it’s not meant to last…
I just want to start again
Maybe you could show me how to try?
Maybe you could take me in
Somewhere underneath your skin?
So I’m left sitting here just wondering: Is it bad I want to have one of those reckless-yet-passionate-throw-all-caution to the wind romances? Even if it’s just once in my life. Everyone should experience that one time with someone who changes you forever, who maybe you shouldn’t be with and know it probably won’t work, but in the end, you don’t regret the experience and will remember it forever.
You’ve changed. For the better.
Take Titanic, for example. Yes, it’s a movie, I know, but the feelings in that movie? Those are the feelings I long for sometimes. Now, remember, Sweetpea, I’m writing this before we met, OK?
I call it One Crazy Moment of Love. Is it bad that I wish I would have had one of these summer loves? OK, so technically, I did have some, but they don’t really count if they’re only in your head, do they, Sweetpea? Oh, stop rolling those beautiful eyes now. Don’t tell me you’re still jealous of Jake, the lifeguard/nude model. I already told you…I was 16, and in my youthful eyes, he was the gorgeous college boy. He doesn’t hold a candle to you, though, so just stop worrying.
Anyway, as I’m writing this, I’m slowly realizing the complete irony of it all. Well, aside from the obvious fact that you can’t really have a summer love at 28, can you? Maybe it’s me trying to play catch-up again? And you can’t really be all that spontaneous if you want to sort of pencil in a summer fling. I picture myself standing over my calendar and going…
“OK, how about we start this summer fling thing on June 12 and say goodbye around August 21. Does that work for you?”
Eeek. It all makes me sound very Lady of the Night-like, doesn’t it? But a big part of being doesn’t want to be sensible or responsible or even practical sometimes, you know, Sweetpea? And then I actually start to feel guilty for wanting to feel that way. Aren’t I supposed to be all those things, all the time: sensible, responsible and practical? But you know what? Trying to be that 27/7 is just draining sometimes. Have I learned to let go at all by the time we meet? Or, let me guess…I’m still harping on the same things, aren’t I? Gosh, it’s so hard to change, isn’t it? Or maybe I don’t want to? Or maybe I just ask too many darn questions?
But back to that summer romance schtick. It’s that sort of romance that frees you, that allows you to live in the moment for the first time in your sheltered, buttoned-up, alwauys-doing-the-right-thing life. You’re living in the moment for the first time. Ever.
You’re (OK, I… ) letting loose finally. And it feels right. And it makes you happy. So why should you (I…) feel so bad about it? Until we meet…
P.S. I just realized that this letter could make you incredibly uncomfortable, jealous or even both. I sure hope that’s not the case. You know this mouth of mine, Sweetpea. Oh shoot…
P.P.S. Maybe I should just start listening to the GLEE version of Take A Bow instead…?