TO: Men all over the planet
RE: A picture’s worth 1,000 words
DATE: April 21, 2010
Over the weekend, I happened to check my Formspring, which, I fully admit has become sort of an addiction. As expected, there weren’t many questions awaiting me in my inbox. In fact, there was just one, left by this kind lady or gent. The question?
Why is your pic so gross looking?
Well, hello there. Add a very Valley Girlish *Gawd* to the end of that, and well, that’s how I hear the question in my head. Now, I can only assume they were referring to this photo, my lovely profile picture…
I wasn’t even going to dignify such a blatantly stupid question, but you know me. I had to stand up for my people, if you will.
If I could, I would so give you the evil eye, swirl my beautifully sexy red hair in your face and strut away in the other direction…
So I just wanted to take this opportunity to use this as a teach tool, boys, since really, that’s all this insulting dribble is good for.
Now, I know you would never dream of saying this to me, let’s be clear about that. Let’s also be clear about the fact that I’ve actually grown to, well, love my face. Just the way it is.
As I was brushing my teeth last night, I realized something: My face, believe it or not, is the only part of my body that hasn’t gone under the knife. No, no. I’m not talking about the knife of cosmetic surgery; I’ll leave that fun to Heidi Montag. I mean the surgical knife. I have scars and reminders of surgeries and hospitals on my legs, my back, my hands, my feet, my hips, my neck and my arms. But my face is like a small, remote area of Antarctica. It’s remained untouched. And unkissed (for now…), and remains, as I like to think of it au natural. It hasn’t been tweaked. It hasn’t been tucked. It hasn’t been pulled. It hasn’t been rearranged.
Though, of course, when I was younger, those Craniofacial Charlatans took one look at me, saw my face as a giant money sign and tried to convince my parents that they could do such wonderful things to make me look “normal.” I’m surprised they didn’t offer to throw in a Glamour Shot photo shoot with the deal.
But my parents refused. And to this day, I thank them. There was absolutely nothing medically wrong with my face. And maybe, just maybe, that’s part of the reason I find it so beautiful; well, that and a bit of vanity. But mostly the first. It’s all me, no sprucing up required. So yeah, my mouth might be a little small, and my smile might not be like someone else’s.
But who’s isn’t? I’d take a person’s natural face any day. And besides, how could anyone resist my smile, boys? I mean, really. Come on.
P.S. And yes, including lots of photos of myself in this post was intentional. You know, like the techniques of subliminal advertising. I’m going to get you to love this face and the woman behind it, boys. You just wait. Oh, and those cute bed shots? Just took those last night! xoxo
[Top photo via We Heart It]