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  2. Faux Trixie says

    While I think the message in your video is spot on, I also think you can sometimes be guilty of exactly the same things you talking about.

    There have been times when you have written things that have offended others. I, for instance, as a non-virgin and a girl with not the best reputation in high school, have taken offense on some of your posts about virginity and how losing it to someone you're not in love with implies shame. Young girls who may not be virgins – young impressionable teens – may stumble across your site and feel like they're a shitty person because they've had sex.

    I'm sure that some men don't like your generalizations about them, either. Not all men are "lazy" or refuse to look past a disability. However, I feel like many times, that's how you make them out to be. In all honesty, I also that privately emailing someone and then sharing a response on the internet is kind of bush league, especially if it's someone you respect or are friends with. It's also the quickest way to lose someone's trust.

    With Crush Boy, I think it was really unfair that you published those emails. I really do. He was trying to be open and honest and you went behind his back and took something he wrote to you in private and attacked it. You did it with that other blogger, too. I think any guy who sees your blog and wants to give you an honest comment almost feels like he has to be anonymous for fear of being ridiculed on the web.

    I know there are other examples, I just can't think of them right now.

    Don't get me wrong; I think some of the things that are said to you are outright cruel and unnecessary. I just think, from time to time, you should listen to your own advice, or, at the very least, you should make sure that you're also not offending anyone with what YOU write. Remember, there are two sides to every coin. I know you don't MEAN to offend anyone – but sometimes, you do.

    However, frankly, the people that make comments about your appearance – that's offensive, and those people can fuck off.

    Reply

  3. Melissa Blake says

    Sorry you feel that way, Beth. I've never said I don't make generalizations. Everyone is guilty of this. I'm a writer, so I'm going to write about my life.

    As I said in my post, I'm not making anyone read my blog. If they don't like it, there are thousands of other blogs out there. You're free to express your opinion and I'm free to express my own.

    My whole thing is not that I mind critical comments. It's when some people only comment when they have something negative to say. That sort of thing gets really old, really fast, you know?

    Reply

  4. Faux Trixie says

    No, I totally understand. It would piss me off too. I just wanted to give some constructive criticism, non-anonymously, and in a thoughtful, concise, honest way, as I'm sure this post will fill up quickly with harsher opinions.

    Reply

  7. Faux Trixie says

    No, I get it. I'm the queen of offending people. I just wanted to point out to you that sometimes, without you even KNOWING it, because I don't think you even know that you may be offending people, you do. It's just one of those checks and balances, you know? I can't see you setting out to actually try to offend someone. That's all.

    I offend people all the time, so I know how it is.

    Reply

  11. MIDWEST MAMA says

    Melissa,
    I am so sorry that this whole thing went down. How shameful. As a fellow blogger, there is nothing as disappointing in the morning as to open up your mail and find that some foul mouthed bully has littered your inbox with angry comments. I used to get upset but now I think, as you alluded to in your video, that they must have some serious anger issues that they need to vent out through the guise of anonymity in the blogosphere.
    I really hope that you do not take it to heart and that you continue to live your best life and dream big. Why not want the fairytale? Aren't we just selling ourselves short otherwise?? 😉
    PS: For the person who wrote the jabbing comments about your physical appearance, just remember that outward beauty always fades but not the beauty in your heart.

    Reply

  13. Emma Jade says

    I totally agree with you. The power people feel when they can hide behind their computer screens is ridiculous.. I've never understood the need for thoughtless hurtful comments over the internet, especially to people who they don't know or would get any benefit from their reaction.. I suppose there are always going to be those out their who do it, a fact of technological life. To bring it to a positive.. these things highlight the better people out there and they are truly special.. don't ever let anyone bring you down.. you are beautiful girl! You are an inspiration to so many people.. keep doing what you're doing! 🙂
    Emma xxx

    Reply

  16. Jamie says

    I think the problem you had with the comments the other day wasn't that some of your commenters were disagreeing with you, but that they resorted to name-calling and criticizing the person you are. Play-Doh face? That is uncalled for. There's a difference between constructive criticism and just plain being mean. The line was definitely crossed that day. But, Melissa, keep on writing and keep on trying. The majority of your followers are here because we enjoy reading about your journey, and we want nothing more than to see you succeed!

    Reply

  17. Anonymous says

    Please. I looked over the comments on the post you mentioned. There was only one comment that could even be construed as mean. The rest were criticism. If you're going to out yourself out there, be ready for critics. Get used to it.

    Reply

  20. jimfre says

    Melissa,

    I had stopped reading your blog about two months ago for three reasons.

    1. I cant identify. This isn't to say that your writing is poor (I quite enjoy your sense of humor). This is to say that, as an able-bodied married man, I had little to embrace.

    2. Your blog started to become more "commercial", if you will. Lot's of give-aways, advertiser plugs, etc. I understand that this is how one makes money on a blog. But combined with my lack of identification with your topics…well, I developed a deeper disinterest.

    3. I used to take your comments about "all boys" with a grain of salt – knowing full well that I am not the type of man you often write about. But after time I started to become offended by your generalities and incorrect statements regarding men as a whole. This is due, I believe, to the fact that you have no real life experience in a relationship. Your perception of what constitutes being wronged by men can only have been gleaned from other's experiences and comments.

    Also, your comments on men frequently border on insult and are sexist and discriminatory at best.

    When you start dating a man then you are entitled to make comments about that ONE man. But, for Christ's sake, leave my gender, as a whole, alone.

    I came to back today to see how you have been doing and I can see that depite the vlogs (which I am not brave enough to undertake – so good on ya) things are pretty much the same. Although, I must say, sharing a private email in your public forum seems, immature and vindictive at best.

    Melissa, you are an excellent writer. I truly hope you become more enlightened to what is going on in the real world of romance and the battle of the sexes and put to rest some of the incorrect generalities in the romantacized world you have created for yourself.

    -John

    Reply

  21. Melissa Blake says

    Hi, John, I'm sorry you stopped reading. I'll be posting an official statement this afternoon to clear things up, but I hope you know that I've NEVER intentionally meant to hurt anyone. I'm merely telling my story, in the only way I know how to write – honestly.

    Reply

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