Letters To My Future Husband: Letter #80

Dear Mr. Melissa Blake:

I should warn you now (or maybe I already have…) that it’s very rare that you’ll ever hear these words come out of my mouth:

I wish I wasn’t disable.

It’s OK…you can give me that confused look. I’ve seen it before. I’m sure I’ll go into more detail about it later, but suffice it to say that most people can’t believe that I wouldn’t jump at the chance (no pun intended; we both know it’s a little hard to jump when your legs are fused…) to just get up and walk if I could.

For as long as I could remember, there wasn’t a time when I sat around and wallowed over all the physical things I couldn’t do. Honestly, it never really crossed my mind.

But when I posted this Facebook status update last week (do people still use Facebook?), I had to stop and think about things for a moment.

I dream of finding a sparkly, flowing dress to fit my 4-foot frame and just twirling in circles until I get dizzy.

Really? Did I really want to twirl until I get dizzy? I couldn’t help but realize something: Maybe there are a few things I wish I could do. The list isn’t long, but here are my top two:

Flashdance…Oh, what a feeling!
I do a mean upper-body shuffle. You wouldn’t think it was possible, what with my entire spine being fused and all, but I can groove with the best of them. But I do sometimes wonder what it would be like to glide across the floor in one sweeping motion as the music swelled in the background. You know I let my voice get carried away with the music, but how would it feel to just let the music dictate the rhythms of your body? What would it be like dancing to some passionate song like the Tango?
I’m sure we could think of an awesome way to dance together. I’m thinking that you could just hold me and twirl me around in circles, but be prepared because my loud laughter can be alarming to some people. I may be small, but I swear that my laugh alone could fill an entire room. Or I could stand up, you could hold on to my wrist and we could just sort of sway. Does that sound too lame? Not to get all sappy, but I just want to know what it feels like to slow dance in someone’s arms – well, preferably your arms, obviously. Oh, and of course, we would have to be slow dancing to my favorite ’80’s power ballad When I’m With You. What? Oh, stop rolling your eyes, Sweetpea. You know you secretly love the song.
Anyway, I look forward to us dancing around a big, beautiful room like this. Now all I need to find are some dancing shoes…

Ring around the roller rink
When I was younger, my parents bought my sister and me each a pair of roller skates. Looking back now, it was sort of a cruel joke. Who would give skates to a girl who can’t exactly walk? Though I suppose they just didn’t want me to feel left out. I tried a few times to put those skates on and use my walker to skate around our tiny apartment kitchen. Yeah, it didn’t work very well. I mostly just wobbled around in a clumsy circle, going at a speed so slow (I was a bit of a frightful, non-adventurous child…) that it was virtually impossible for me to get any sort of dizzy. I was actually sort of a sad sight.
But I’ve always wanted to fly all over the place at one of those classic roller rinks. You know, the kind where people form Conga lines and slip and slide all around like a giant snake? I figure with roller skating, it’s all about the shoes, and Sweetpea, I intend to have the best-looking skates this side of the Mississippi. Or, I guess, this side of wherever we end up living. Anyway, the skates shall be bright, neon and flashy. There’s no arguing there.

So what do you think? Now I’ll be the first to admit that these are sort of superficial things. They’re never going to matter, really, in the grand scheme of my life.

But doesn’t everyone have a few of those I-wish-I-coulds on their list? Don’t you, Sweetpea? I can’t wait to hear all about yours. I can’t wait to dance in your arms someday, too. Until we meet…

[Photos via happythings, Audrey Hepburn Complex and We Heart It]