Letters To My Future Husband: Letter # 78

Dear Mr. Melissa Blake:

Did you read my song yesterday, Sweetpea? Well, what am I saying…you probably don’t even ready my blog (or do you…?). Anyway, there was a lyric that went along the lines of enjoying the moment because these are our yesterdays in the making. I know, great lyric, right? I can’t take all the credit as it was inspired by one of my favorite songs of all time – Anticipation by Carly Simon (Yes, Sweetpea, the You’re-So-Vain lady! I have been teaching you well, haven’t I…?).

My favorite line in Ms. Simon’s song?

So I’ll try and see into your eyes right now
And stay right here ’cause these are the good old days

This line gets me, Sweetpea. Every. Single. Time. And when I heard the song again and thought of us, it hit me: That’s the one thing I want for us. So many people get caught up in so many other things, and before they know it, they can’t even see straight. They can’t even see what is right in front of them. Everything quickly becomes one giant blurry photo, and it’s as if we’re walking through a haze, a fog, just trudging through the motions of life.

I’m not perfect. I’ve been guilty of this, too…I fully admit that. It can get hard to plant your feet in the here-and-now when it feels like the past is pulling one of your feet in one direction, and the future is pulling your other foot even harder in the opposite direction. It’s frustrating to squelch all those thoughts, I know, but can we at least try?

Because when it comes down to it, these are the good old days. The days we’re living right now are, even if we don’t know it or think it, the days we’re going to look back on in 10 or 20 years, probably with a little more grey in our hair and a cute little pouch for a stomach, and think, “Man, those were the days, weren’t they?” They are. We’re living them right now. As I write this. As you’re doing whatever it is you’re doing in March 2010, Sweetpea.
But at the same time, I think that’s part of the reason I’m writing all these letters. Yes, I’m writing them to you, someone I possibly have yet to me. But maybe I’m also writing them for myself. I don’t want to forget that these are my good old days too, even if I don’t think they are. It’s ironic that writing letters to a future someone could help me stay in the present, but my gosh, I think it’s working. I don’t ever want to forget the person I am, the person I was or any of the emotions I’ve felt. It’s almost like I want to capture it all. For you, yes, but also for me too. I deserve that. I’m slowly realizing that losing yourself in life is a fate worse than never meeting your soulmate in the first place. I never want to forget who I am in the process of finding out who you are. Is that weird? Does that even make sense?

It’s like I always say: It’s not the big moments that are the most important, though they do matter, of course, but it’s those little moments in-between that we tend to forget. It’s those in-betweens, those smaller moments that usually have a much bigger impact than we could ever imagine – the little laughs over little things, the little cries of happiness, the time we’re just living our life.

And maybe if we remember that, we can better capture these small moments and remember them forever.
I want us to remember whether we’re together or apart, those moments, don’t you? I want us to both still be smiling in 20 years, big bellies and all. Because these are the good old days, Sweetpea.

Until we meet… xoxo

[Photos via Audrey Hepburn Complex]