Call me crazy, but I just don’t understand people who never want to get revenge. You know, those types who say, “Oh, well, I’m going to rise above it.”
You’re not fooling me here. Whether it’s a cheating boyfriend (I’d be like Carrie and key his car), a bad-mouthing friend or a jealous mean girl, we all want revenge. Whether we admit it or not.
And some of us are actually brave enough to take our scorned hearts and use them to pummel those who wronged us.
Take the case of Charles Phillips and YaVaughnie Wilkins. He’s a member of Obama’s Economic Recovery Advisory Board (hint: look for the irony in a bit). She’s the love of his life, at least according to a billboard sighted in several spots in Manhattan recently. Emblazoned on the billboard for the world to see are these words:
‘You are my soulmate forever! – cep’”
“charlesphillipsandyavaughniewilkins.com”
Log on to that lovely site, and it all becomes clear. Photos and notes chronicle, not the love of a happy, committed couple, but the deceit, deception and lies that rolled off a married man’s tongue (probably among other things that rolled off said tongue…) and into the heart of his mistress!
Now, I don’t condone cheating, but if you have been wronged? What better place to let everyone know about it than in the heart of the city that never sleeps?
Me? I fully admit that I do my best revenge work on my blog. I’ve never lied about that, and I’ll never change my policy – see my handy disclaimer if there’s any doubt about it.
So, friends, where do you stand on the revenge spectrum? Is it ever not justified?
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B says
I don't think revenge as described in your post is "brave." I think it's more… naive? I mean, if you get cheated on and you slash your ex's tires, you might feel good for a little while, but then you realize you're still hurt and now he just thinks of you as the psychopath that he's glad he got away from. Plus, he knows that you're hurt and still thinking about him and since he's a jerk he probably likes that.
I fully live by the addage, "The best revenge is a life well lived." What hurts someone more, the inconvenience of replacing a slashed tire, or seeing you move on and be completely happy and successful without them- without even seeming to think about them?
Natalie says
I'm with you.. Revenge can be sweet. No, it doesn't solve anything to key a car, but it does help reliev e a little stress. And as far as slashing tires, it's best to just let the air out. It's not destructive, but takes a lot more time for the victim to get air put back in to go anywhere.
I've had ex's cell phones turned off without informing them before hand. I've also had the same ex fired from his job.
Like I said, I'm definitely pro-revenge. It may not always be smart, but I have to admit I enjoy it.
Faux Trixie says
I agree with B on this one. When you exact revenge with some grandiose gesture, you look like the smaller person and that you don't respect enough yourself to stop giving the person the time of day. Clearly, if someone wrongs you, he or she is not worth a second thought. Taking revenge is putting the time and energy into them that they don't deserve.
Living well really is the best revenge. There have been countless times when I know an ex or a former friend has been intimidated and jealous of my successes. That's enough for me, because inside, I know that I won, particularly because I remained the bigger person.
Yes, the instant satisfaction can be nice, but in the end, you just end up looking desperate and like you're clinging to something.
PS. Blog's back! Tell me what you think of the design! I did it myself.
Breannaaa says
I actually had a revenge-like feeling creep up on me this weekend. My ex and I RECENTLY broke up, and he is hanging out with a certain girl to literally piss me off – and it's working. I think it's the fact that it is this particular girl and it makes my skin boil.
I've been pressing through the issue through tears and crazy texts that say, "I really hope you two work out". I can't bring myself to fully take revenge. This particular girl is full of herself 100% of the time and her mind is made up of air.
I just really wish I did not run into them. Every. Single. Day.
my name is lauren. says
no matter what anyone says… revenge is sweet. i try not to seek it myself most of the time and try to be the bigger person… but honestly? sometimes there are douche bags in the world who need a wake-up call like this to mend their douchey ways. good for her.
Jana says
I'm not big on revenge. I just try to move on. I have no sympathy for this mistress when she knew she was messing with a married man for 8 years.
Melissa Blake says
I love all the varying opinions!!
Faux — YEAH!!! I've missed your blog!! I'll check it out today!!
Amy says
I'm with Jana. Um, he was MARRIED. How did you think that was going to all play out?
At any rate, revenge just seems like a lot of extra work and effort to do something to someone who is obviously not worth your time.
Linz says
i am anti-revenge for a number of reasons, but…man, does it feel good when you mete it out in measured doses. aside from the obvious reasons as to why revenge is not good for the soul, one of the main factors for me is…how will you feel about yourself, as a person, once the hot rush of rage is over? i know people who don't care – but they're generally people i lose touch with because they never grow out of their old attitudes. i know people who do care and beat themselves over it. i personally have done both – exacted revenge as well as walked away from taking revenge. exacting revenge gives me a feeling of sweet victory at the moment, but generally regret later on. walking away makes me want to punch a hole through the wall initially…but after a whole, i'm very glad i didn't take the revenge route. generally.
Linz says
after a while* (dangnabbit, Monday mornings!)
Rebecca says
I am not big on revenge but the characters in my fiction sure are!
i wonder what that means…
Anonymous says
"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
Melissa Blake says
Maybe it's your subconscious, Rebecca? 🙂
Kristin says
I think taking the high road is the best revenge. Not that I've always done that. Ah ha ha
Chin says
I actually find it quite easy to not seek revenge. I just believe that I can put my time in something else.
Not to mention, it is always best when I just sit back and let lady karma handle all of that. She does a much better job at handing out revenge letters than I could (and plus, it saves me the work.)
Jaime says
Omg that's insane… I understand anger and wanting revenge but that's just too far…
and now curiosity will kill the cat and I am going to check out the site. lol
Kara says
I feel so guilty showing revenge! You are very right that we all do want revenge at some point in our lives! I can think of a few ocations that I have wanted revenge but never acted. Im not sure if this is a good thing or bad.
Kara*
Anonymous says
I realize that this is a very old post, but I'm curious.
When you said "I fully admit that I do my best revenge work on my blog," what exactly are you getting revenge for? It seems like most of what is written on this blog is simply bemoaning the fact that your male friends don't feel the same way about you as you do about them. You seem to react to this by posting long 'Memos to Men,' in which you tell them that they are cruel, stupid, and shallow for not wanting you. By your own accounts, they have hardly mistreated you; they just haven't lived out the fantasies that you've built around them.
Sure, there's a nasty (and addictive) sort of pleasure that can be gleaned from 'revenge' (or the idea of it, anyway), but you might want to make sure that you aren't just looking for reasons to be vicious. There's nothing 'brave' or 'admirable' about lashing out at someone over an imagined slight.
This will likely be deleted. C'est la vie.